Find Hope
by coffup
Summary: S&S Sakura’s stepfather is less than kind. Syaoran is thrust into the situation, changing things beyond repair. All they want is to find hope. Rated R for lemon.
1. Unwanted Attention

**Author Note: **I began this story in the ninth grade. This is my millionth time editing it. I'm not very happy with the plot, but I'd like to finish what I started so long ago. I hope you enjoy this.

**Summary:** [S&S] Sakura's stepfather is less than kind. Syaoran is thrust into the situation, changing things beyond repair. All they want is to find hope. [Contains lemon and other mature content.]

**Warning(s): **Not beta'd.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own CCS.

**Rated: **M for meow, uh, mature.

**Last Edited: **May 2010

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**Find Hope**

**Chapter One: **Unwanted Attention

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A young girl sat at a pale wooden desk by a window, her eyes staring blankly at a blissfully tranquil blue sky. Emerald eyes moved up and down, side to side, following the carefree flight of a bird. She understood that somewhere in the room, a teacher was standing, speaking, attempting to force knowledge into the students surrounding her, and that was fine. As long as the monotonous and strangely nasal lecture remained constant in the background, she was free to daydream.

The class rolled on with the uneasy movement of an overturned bottle of spoiled milk. It would drag on slowly for a while, convincing her that time itself had slowed to a crawl and that every movement she made would be like forcing her limbs though a thick and sludge-like jelly. Then that particular chunk of coagulated milk would pass by the lip of the bottle, and liquid-like, time would splatter forcefully forward, thrusting her painfully back into real time, head spinning from whiplash. It usually resulted in a tongue-lashing for not paying attention.

If only the teacher, an older woman with dark hair, would make her voice a bit less monotonous. The girl's eyes drooped shut, and her breathing slowed, evening out. The woman's voice was loud, yes, but not inflected in the least. It was almost lulling, soothing in its monotony. She wondered how the other students learned anything, how any of them could keep from falling for the siren call of sleep. It was a wonder the teacher still had her job. If she wanted to, the girl figured she could stand in front of the class and teach the course herself. She'd just have to read notes word for word off of a sheet in the most dull and dreary voice she could muster.

If it was her though, she'd make it a hell of a lot more interesting. She'd be the opposite of monotonous. She'd make an unconventional pause or two, catch everyone by surprise. Use visual aids: charts and graphs and pictures of half-naked people in compromising situations. She'd bring in a CD player if she had to. Hell, she'd rap the damn lectures if it would get the information past the students' dull eyes, through their thick skulls, and into their damp, sponge-like brains.

The lyrics of a song heard long ago trailed about in her head, and she nodded lazily in tune with the beat. Her gaze zoned in on a flock of birds outside the classroom and she watched them wistfully. They were probably headed back home.

Pushing a stray strand of hair back behind her ear, she froze. She was still stuck in the jelly-like ooze of slow-motion and, unfortunately for her, the class had rushed forward into real time. The piercing nasal droning she had tuned out was gone.

"Well, Kinomoto-san?"

Kinomoto Sakura moved her eyes away from the window with great reluctance, tilting her head toward the rest of the class. Sinako-sensei was staring right at her through her thick-rimmed designer glasses while the rest of the class snickered.

Sinako-sensei must have asked a question.

But _what_ question?

Her eyes flew to the board for a clue, but no luck: the board was bare. She bit her lip and exhaled hard. She was going to get in shit if she got detention again. Her stepfather had warned her of the consequences. A shudder ran down her spine, and she licked her lips nervously, eyes darting about the class.

She definitely did **not **want that to happen again.

She opened her mouth, shut it, and coughed loudly into her clasped hands. She now had the attention of the full class. Eyes, all of them shining with malicious interest, stared back at her. Many of the faces were locked in identical smirks. No one here would help her. Not that she blamed them. High school was like a jungle: those who were sick or outcasts were quickly singled out and jumped upon.

She cleared her throat, trying to buy herself some time. Quickly, she ran through her options. The board was a bust and the overhead projector was turned off. The seat next to her was empty, leaving her with no notes to sneak a peek at.

There was only one option left. She had to make something up. What were the odds of her being correct? One in twelve billion?

For a second, she struggled to recall what class she was in, and mentally slapped herself. Freezing up was not going to help!

"Um," was all that escaped her normally still lips.

How intelligent. She must have been blowing them away with her extensive vocabulary and exemplary conversational skills. She should get a prize. Or a trophy. Perhaps a plaque?

"We are waiting Kinomoto-san," said Sinako-sensei. "Is it that you do not know the answer?" Dull pink lips curled up into a sad smile that didn't reach the teacher's eyes. "I will have to give you a detention in that case."

The woman could be so cruel with her flat voice and dull eyes. Sakura thought that Sinako-sensei enjoyed giving out detentions. Not because she enjoyed punishing students, but because the teacher truly thought she was doing the right thing. And Sinako-sensei would always do the right thing, regardless of what it entailed.

Sakura felt herself blush under the combined scrutiny of the teacher and her fellow classmates. She tried desperately to recall what Sinako-sensei had been rambling about earlier.

"Um, Sinako-sensei, the--" She panicked, the words caught in the back of her throat. She tried to begin again, her voice a throaty whisper. "The answer is… um…."

_Simple_ or _complex_? She had no idea. Fuck.

"Kinomoto-san, if you will please stop stalling?" Two people in the back of the class guffawed loudly, and a threesome of girls wearing too much make-up tittered loudly in a corner. The ringleader, a girl with eyelashes so thick, Sakura wondered if it hurt to blink, pulled out a nail file and sneered in her direction.

Sakura clenched her teeth tightly, trying in vain to control her blushing. She must have looked like a tomato. "Sorry, Sinako-sensei," she whispered, the words coming out fast, too fast, slurring over each other. "The answer, the answer is--"

There was a loud banging at the door.

Sinako-sensei turned her head, raising one well-groomed brow. She glided toward the door, heels click-clacking their way up the aisle and, thankfully, away from Sakura.

Sakura breathed out a sigh of relief, dropping her head down to the cool surface of her desk. It felt good against her flushed skin. There was a collective sigh from the students as they realized their fun was over. They turned and twisted in their desks, breaking up into their small cliques, and began whispering amongst themselves, sneaking sidelong glances at Sakura.

She stared blankly at Sinako-sensei's figure at the door, trying to calm herself as she listened to her own hurried breaths. An office assistant must have come by with a message. She thanked them silently, hoping that the small distraction would cause Sinako-sensei to forget about her. The class's chatter grew louder as the teacher remained outside.

She turned to face the window again, placing her attention on another flock of birds. She supposed she'd never know the identity of her saviour. Not that it was a big deal; it wasn't like she'd been drowning and then been dragged out to safety, air pressed in through her lips and forced into her body. No, nothing so direct as that. But the possible repercussions of landing a detention would have been harsh. It wasn't like her saviour had known they had been saving her either. She watched as the birds flew above the school, up and out of her line of sight.

"Well," Sinako-sensei's voice cut through her thoughts like a hot knife through a three-layer ice cream cake. Delicious. She jerked her head to Sinako-sensei's general direction, and tried to force herself to pay attention. She couldn't afford to get detention. Could not, could not. Especially not after she'd been saved. She just had to pay attention and keep a low profile for the rest of the class. Pay attention and keep a low profile. Yes, pay attention… Pay attention and – was that a bird outside? Somehow her head had turned without her knowing.

She sighed. It was just a paper bag flapping in the wind.

Why was paying attention so difficult?

She turned back to Sinako-sensei. There was someone new standing next to her.

"There is a new student, it seems," Sinako-sensei announced. "He is originally from China, but has been living in Japan for quite some time, now." She turned her head apologetically to the slender youth standing next to her, "I seem to have forgotten your name."

"Li Syaoran?" The words tumbled out of Sakura's mouth in a choked whisper, loud in the now silent classroom. Eyes widening, she instantly regretted her words. Again, she kicked herself mentally. Way to keep a low profile.

"What is this?" asked Sinako-sensei, cocking an eyebrow. "Did the ever-silent Kinomoto-san speak without being called upon?" The class sniggered and Sakura could feel her cheeks flushing again. She deserved the "ever-silent" title, having fought hard not to speak unless absolutely necessary. Her mouth was dry and she swallowed against the lump growing in the back of her throat.

"It is far too bad that the first time you say anything that you're incorrect." Sinako-sensei's sad smile returned and she turned to the brown-haired boy, "What _is_ your name, young man?"

"Li Syaoran," answered the boy, his face blank, body still. He gave off the feeling of wanting nothing more than to sit down and fall asleep. His eyes were half-shut, and a frown grew on his face as the class's snickering quieted.

It was Sinako-sensei's turn to blush. "Young man," she spoke, her voice rising. "Do not be cheeky with me. What is your name?"

"Li Syaoran." He was now staring at the teacher, him head and shoulders taller than her in her three inch heels.

Sakura sighed. What had she started?

"As this is your first time in my classroom, I will excuse you for your actions. Now listen to me carefully." Sinako-sensei took a deep breath, and enunciated her following words slowly and clearly. "What… is… your._._._ name__?_"

"Li … Syao… Ran." He gestured at her, hands moving in the air as he spoke his next words. "Do you… want me… to re-peat that?" He smiled, and Sakura swore her heart skipped a beat. "Want me to write it out?"

By this point, Sinako-sensei was doing a very good impression of Sakura at her most flustered. "Give me your schedule! I will not tolerate this insolence!" She snatched a fistful of papers from his hands, throwing him a dirty look before glancing down to read. "Go to the office, Li Syao--" The blood rushed from her face, leaving her skin mottled pink and white. "Ran."

"Of course, sensei," Syaoran smirked. "If you would please give back my papers?" He held out one hand expectantly.

Sinako-sensei brusquely shoved the papers back into his hands. "Never mind about that! Go to your desk! Sit next to Kinomoto-san. And you better not do anything stupid! I will not tolerate stupidity in this classroom!" She shifted on her heels, turning to the class, and adjusted her shirt as her face twitched angrily. Sinako-sensei rarely encountered trouble in her classroom; the boredom she was capable of inducing usually stifled any possible stupidity. It was hard to act out when all you wanted to do was repeatedly slam your head into your desk.

Syaoran continued to stand at the front of the room, tugging lightly at the collar of his shirt.

"Why are you still here?" asked the teacher heatedly, her face starting to colour again. "Why have you not taken your seat?"

The youth sighed and brushed long bangs out of his eyes. "If I knew who Kinomoto-san was, then maybe I would sit down."

"Kinomoto! Raise your hand!" Sakura raised an arm half-heartedly and flapped her hand. Sinako-sensei gestured toward her. "There! Your seat is there."

She turned quickly to the board and began to scrawl quickly across its surface, the words almost unreadable. She paused, exhaling loudly, and shook out her shoulders before erasing all that she had written. Turning around, she went right back into her lecture, her embarrassment seemingly forgotten.

Syaoran took his time walking down the aisle, gazing about the class, taking in the students. His swagger caught the eyes of the threesome in the front corner and the curious stares of the boys in the back of the room. He slid smoothly into his seat, and turned his head to look at Sakura. She wasn't taking any notes; she didn't even have a notebook in front of her.

Her short auburn hair fell all over the place, framing her face well. Her head was turned away from him so he couldn't see her pouting pink lips, her sparkling emerald eyes, or her pert, little nose. She was wearing something around her neck (a necklace?). He could see it peeking out through her hair. Her slinky, black shirt revealed her pale milky shoulders, but covered both arms. She wore baggy, black jeans that were held up by a silver belt made of criss-crossing wires. As he had walked to his seat, he had noticed that her jeans were tucked into her slender boots… her slender, black, high-heeled boots.

She looked the same as she had the last time he'd seen her: absolutely perfect and yet so distant. Like a damsel in distress, waiting for a knight to come save her from a dragon. A really bored damsel in distress with a wickedly dangerous dragon living just inside her castle.

He wondered if she had a boyfriend. He hoped not.

He mentally smacked himself at that thought. Thoroughly disgusted with himself, he shook his head and turned his eyes to the front of the class. The droning voice of the teacher was difficult to pay attention to, but he had always loved a challenge.

Sakura felt his eyes leave her. She wondered why he was staring at her so intently. Were her clothes dirty? Or maybe someone had taped another note to her back? Had he… forgotten what she looked like? His memory must have been even worse than hers. Bad as her memory was, she didn't think she could ever forget him.

She pictured him as she stared out the window. He had chocolate brown hair and eyes to match. His face was always serious, but his lips kept falling at the corners when he thought no one was watching. So sad, but trying to hide it. He was quiet, or, at least he was with her. Looking at him now, she knew he was going to be really popular. He had the looks, the clothes, and the attitude. And he was the new kid. He was going to have it easy. Even if he had a terrible personality; the girls would just hound him even more.

Why was she thinking about him?

She sighed loudly.

"Kinomoto-san? Is there something wrong with what I just said?" asked Sinako-sensei.

Short auburn hair fell gently into eyes, making her blink excessively as she turned quickly to see the teacher staring at her once more. Sakura flushed pink again and wondered what she had done to deserve so much attention today. She'd been called on in every other class, but had managed to worm her way out of speaking as other smarter and much more keen students blurted out answers when she was too slow. There was no chance of that here, where the students weren't grouped according to achievement levels.

She hated the fact that she blushed so easily. It was annoying at the best of times. She shot an innocent smile at Sinako-sensei, and the teacher narrowed her eyes.

Oh, too smooth. Freak the teacher out, why don't you? That'll really help you lie low.

"You don't mind telling me what I just said, do you?" Sinako-sensei's eyes were dead and black, and she was itching for a way to relieve some of her irritation.

"Um, no?" Her voice was hesitant and her mind blank. No, not when she was so close! Not when she had already gotten away so many times. Someone wanted her to get in trouble.

She started panicking again, her heart already hammering like a jackhammer. Any faster, and she was sure it would rush right out of her chest and up into the teacher's face. Maybe, maybe another new student would decide to show up? She shut her eyes and wished as hard as she could.

"All right then. Please repeat what I said to the class."

Damn. No new transfer student.

She took a deep breath, and was ready to pretend to faint (the only other option she could think of) when Syaoran slid his notes discreetly to her side of the desk.

"Ohm's law," she whispered, her face as red as it could possibly go.

"What of it?"

"I… I is over…" Sakura took a deep breath and started again, face down this time, talking quietly at her desk. "I is equal to V over A."

Sinako-sensei grunted uncharacteristically. "Correct."

The bell rang, signalling the end of yet another tedious school day. A collective sigh was exhaled as the students began to pack their things, grateful for living through another one of Sinako-sensei's tiresome lectures.

"Do not forget your homework," intoned Sinako-sensei, before gathering her own papers and leaving the classroom.

Sakura moved surprisingly slow, seeing as how she had nothing to pack up. She and Syaoran left the class at the same time. Their classmates were already all gone, having rushed to their lockers at the other side of the school.

They fell into step with each other as they strolled down the crowded halls of the school. All around them were younger students, not many of which Sakura knew. But they all knew her. Or of her, at least.

Syaoran licked his lips before speaking. "Is she always so uptight? Or is it just me?"

"Not you," Sakura answered, voice still not louder than a whisper. Her bangs fell right into her eyes; every time she blinked, they moved. She needed a haircut. "I have to get home, now," she said, speeding up and sliding through a group of students headed in the other direction. Not that she needed to slide through; a space seemed to open up wherever she went. Syaoran wondered if all the students were so deferential. It was nice to move without bumping into people all the time.

"I'll give you a ride," he said, glancing at her again. "I have to pick some stuff up first, though."

She wondered why he was talking to her in public. It wasn't like they weren't going to have more than enough chances to talk at home. That was, if talking was what he wanted to do. There was no point in him hanging out with her in public. No reason for him to be associated with her, for him to be labelled outcast as well.

She hoped things would be better now, at home, now that he was there. It was… good… to have someone else around. A part of her wished he would hang out with her even in public, but she knew that was a selfish thought. It should have been more than enough to just have him at home with her. She should have been grateful for that.

"No," she said, shooting him a small smile before ducking behind two particularly large freshmen. "I have to get there first."

Syaoran moved to grab her, stop her, attempt to convince her that she should take the ride, but she slid away from him before he could try. She made her way through the crowds that let her pass by with ease. He, however, was stuck, the students refusing to give him the space they gave her. He was jostled and bumped more than once as he tried in vain to catch up to her. He made his way to the open double doors of the entrance, and searched for her, his eyes desperately scanning the swarm of students. When he finally caught sight of her, she was far away, walking briskly down the street, a path carved out for her wherever she went.

She should have accepted the ride, he thought. Even if it was daylight, he didn't think it was safe for a girl to walk home by herself. It was a long walk home from school and bad things could happen to a girl all by herself. Bad things could happen to anyone. He followed her figure with his eyes. It didn't help that she had a nice ass, and a great body.

Shocked by his sudden train of thought, he shook his head as he made his way to the car. He'd been given it this morning, so that he could pick up some groceries.

He couldn't think of her like that. Wouldn't think of her like that. It wasn't right.

He got into his car and as he drove away, he thought of the new information he had learned of her today. Her last name, "Kinomoto". He laughed. It was a strange thing to not know, especially since they were living together now. A strange thing indeed.

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Thanks for reading. :3


	2. Who's Koshi?

Hello, hello little people! How do you fare this fine autumn day? I fare FREEZING… I need to start wearing a jacket --; ANYwhooooo…. WHOA… I have… -counts- 1… 765… 93… 4 I have… FOUR? WHOA! I have FOUR reviews! –feels special- okay, so four is a measly number… I've never had a real review b4 (no offence crackers, but I KNOW you, so it doesn't count) and… -sniffle- I feel special

Wanna know something cool? Okay… so it's not cool… but still! I write my stories during my classes… so I might not be able to update very quickly… so … P to you

Anyways… let me see… let me see…. What was I talking about again? Oh yeah… well anyways… DUH DUH DUH… I … am a sick person… this fic was ALMOST… an incest thingy 'cause I couldn't figure out a way to work out some things… but! The amazing crackers saved me! So no incest…. –shudders- blargh…

ANYwho… on with the ficcy! I hope you all enjoy it!

WHOA! HOLD UP! I have… FIVE reviews… I just another! oh yeah! I feel SPECIAL TONIGHT! –does a dance- uh huh, nuh nuh, uh huh, nuh nuh! –sees readers getting mad- Uh… sorry… got kind of carried away.. Okay… well... On with my story!

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**Reviews**

**Adilee Sakura:** I love my ficcy too! I'm writing it… right now!

**SaKuRa-MIna:** I know! That teacher is the spawn of HELL! Of Hell! and yeah, isn't Syaoran's timing just great? Thanks for all the compliemts ; I can just feel my ego inflating.

**sweet-captor:** I'm glad you think it's kawaii, 'cause i think so too ! ;

**kikakai:** I loved the nice ass part, I'm not sure where I got that from, I just threw it in… shows you how deep and non-shallow Syaoran is right? Lol ;

**Thank you all for the reviews!**

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**Initial Beginning**

"…" Speech

_'…' Thoughts_

/.../ Inner Thoughts

…you look like a monkey A/N's

Disclaimer: I still don't own CCS…

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**Find Hope**

**Chapter Two…**

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A breeze blew swiftly past Sakura, leaving her shivering in her thin shirt. 'I just had to wear the thinnest shirt possible today, huh? And it just had to not have a left arm too.' She sighed, 'the things I do for fashion! It's so cold out now… much colder than yesterday. I'll have to start wearing a jacket again.' Her thoughts went on drearily as her eyes scanned the overcast sky above.

'Boy, the weather sure can change fast around here! At least it was nicer during class.' She smiled at this thought, and then shivered, hugging her arms tightly around herself, trying to stay warm as the harsh wind blew against her yet again. 'Great, now I have to go past that yard of graves again.'

'Cemetery. It's called a cemetery…. It's so sad… and _scary_… what if there are _ghosts_ in there?' She shivered and ran her hand over the hedgerows, and shivered again as the springy, green foliage bounced her arm up and down, sending vibrations trickling through it. She began to slow down as she passed a certain gravestone… She _always_ slowed down here. 'Mama…I miss you.' She blinked back tears and looked down at her arms, trying to keep hold of her emotions. She caught sight of her watch.

"Damn it!" she swore, her eyes flying open in shock, "I'm going to be late!" She began yelling out loud to no one, trying to vent her frustrations out into the air. She quickly realizedthat yelling was not going to help her get back to the house any faster. She sprinted away from the graves screaming. In her head, she thought, 'bye, Mama, I'll be back later!' Her feet pounded against the concrete, her legs pumping fast. Soon she was in front of her house, panting heavily, and ready to keel over.

"'Ello," she called out as she entered the house, "Step-Papa? I'm home!" Glancing at her watch, she sighed in relief, 'I'm not late! But where is Step-Papa? He's always here when I get home. He _always_ checks if I come in on time. Never misses a chance to hand down a punishment.' Where on earth could he be? She jogged down the back staircase, heading for the garage.

'Fuck…' There was no car in the garage. No sign of the shiny silver Mercedes her stepfather loved. No sign of that red Jaguar either. 'Where could he be?' She began to feel a little light-headed. 'Could it be? Could he have left me?' She sat down on the steps, her head in her hands, a whimsical smile playing on her lips. 'Or, better yet, could he have handed himself over? Or, even better, could he have died?' Her mind raced around happily showing her images of her stepfather's body, mutilated and burnt. 'Oh crap, I totally forgot about what he said yesterday… He's coming home late today….'

Growling, she stomped up the stairs and into the kitchen. 'Great, I could have stayed at school and talked to Tomoyo but nooooo, my stupid brain had to forget!' She vented her anger out on the kitchen appliances, kicking and scratching at their hard, shiny, veneered surfaces. She turned and faced the stove, trying to direct her thoughts to something more pleasant.

'Hmm…' she thought, 'I wonder what Florence, or Ms. Marks as Step-Papa says, made for us today? She always makes such great food. And she cleans well too. Way better than I ever could.' She lifted the lid of one of the pots on the stove and breathed in the aroma. 'Mmm… Noodles! My favourite flavour too!' She sloshed a large helping into a bowl and grabbed a comic from the counter.

'I better take advantage of this miraculous day! A whole day without Step-Papa! C'est un miracle!' She danced around the table, laughing.

'Just me, my comic and my wonderful bowl of soup today then, I suppose,' she thought merrily as she plopped down into a chair. 'This must be what heaven feels like!' She lifted a spoonful of noodles to her lips and opened the comic.

"Koshi, oh poor, Koshi! Do you not understand that there are better women to love?" She spoke out loud to no one, revelling in the fact that she had the house to herself. 'Until that weirdo shows up.' She sighed. 'I wonder who'll come first him, or my _delightful_ stepfather? Blargh, I shouldn't let them ruin my day, back to Koshi!' She settled back down and began to slurp at her noodles. Soon totally engrossed in the hilarious antics of Koshi and company.

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Lucky Sakura; as she devoured both her noodles and the antics of Koshi, Syaoran was slamming his way through the streets in his car, very angered.'Could that accident have been any more stupid?' thought Syaoran to himself. 'It was a fender bender! How is anyone supposed to get home on time if they have to be a witness to a fender bender! You couldn't even see adent, if there was one.' He pulled the car up the driveway and into the two-car garage. He got out of his red Jaguar and slammed the door shut.

'Man, what is up with the people in this town? Back where I come from, no one would have even noticed that! But here, they have to stop all the traffic and get down insurance numbera and get accounts from all of the witnesses!' He stomped up the stairs, unlocked the door and slammed it shut behind him.

'Nerds! What was their problem? Haven't they ever been in an accident before? Then again, that wasn't even big enough to be called an accident; that guy just prodded the car in front of him and suddenly, everything stopws like it was a three car pile up!' He growled and sniffed at the air.

'Oh…. What have we here? Smells like… noodles?' He followed the scent of the noodles to the kitchen, where he caught sight of Sakura slurping away at a bowl of those… delicious smelling noodles…. He felt a bit of drool drip from his mouth as he watched her suck up some of the noodles.

'Pathetic!' he said to himself, 'drooling! I haven't drooled since I was three! I will not let a girl make me drool, no matter how pretty she is.' He narrowed his eyes at her, as though it was her fault that he had been slobbering.

'Queer… did I just say I wouldn't let a girl make me drool?' His eyes widened and his thoughts dashed about in his head. 'She didn't make me drool! It was the noodles! Yeah! The noodles! They're so yummy… I love the way she just slurps her noodles…. What? No! Shut up! Must think of noodles! I will not think of her!

'Right…When pigs fly…. Okay… so she is pretty…. Very pretty… and she has a nice ass… and a nice body… and she looks so… cute , no, not cute, beautiful, she looks beautiful. Okay Li, get ready! Astound her with your amazing speech skills! Show her you're an intellectual! Grab her attention! Do _something!_ You can't just stand there looking at her!'

"So, are there anymore noodles?" He blushed furiously, 'Oh yeah Li, you totally astounded her with your intellectual powers of speech! Why isn't she moving? Is she dead?' He stared at her, noticing that her spoon was midway in the air, frozen, as if she was about to eat the noodles, but had changed her mind.

There was a brief pause as she pulled the spoon to her mouth and flipped a page of her comic. Her eyes not leaving the pages, she grunted affirmatively, "Emph." Then she continued on with her meal as though nothing had happened.

"Uh… thanks!" said Syaoran lamely. 'Oh yeah, that was a great response! Totally! You're blowing her away, I can tell! NOT! Get a grip Li!' He still leaned against the wall, thinking of what to say.

"Very sorry to interrupt your meal again, but where are the noodles?" There, he had said_ something_. He watched her slowly flip another page and set down the comic.

'Where is she going?' He began to watch her again as she got up slowly and walked towards the stove. 'Nice ass… NO! Must… not… look!' He focussed his attention back onto her. 'Pay attention!' She took the lid off a pot and began to spoon some noodles into a bowl. She grabbed a spoon from a cupboard and stuck it in the bowl.

"Xiao-Lang," she called out, her back to him, "this is yours." She stood there with her back turned for a minute. "Well, aren't you going to take it?" She turned around, "Or do you think I went mental and poisoned it?"

"Zany," he replied as he walked over to her and grabbed the bowl. 'Damn, what if she did poison me?' "You're zany, not mental. Thanks… erhm…."

"Are you okay? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Because, uh, I… well… you see…" 'Uh, why _am_ I looking at her? I'm making it so obvious! But, she's so pretty… how can I not stare?' "Uh… How did you know my other name?" 'Nice save! '

"'Cause Iheard itlast night."

"Did you? I see… well, I have to go and um, eat this great food! It smells delicious!" He smiled at her, expecting her to be complimented.

"Euh, that's 'cause Florence made it. She makes most of the food around here."

"Florence? Who's Florence?"

"Gees, don't you know? She's our part-time helper. She comes in around ten, does the laundry, some general cleaning and prepares a light snack for us after school. Then she goes off to spend time with her kid, Timmy, he's adorable!"

"Hey, that's interesting! I didn't know we had a maid."

"Ignorant people call Florence a maid." She scowled at him and sat down at the table again. "She is a helper."

"Just calm down a sec, okay? It's not my fault I don't know the difference between a maid and a helper." He sat down next to her and started to eat his noodles. "She makes good soup."

"Koshi is an interesting dude, don't you think?"

'La...what? Did she just say Koshi? Who on earth is Koshi?' "Euh, who's Koshi?"

"Meh? You don't know who Koshi is?" Sakura's eyes bugged out.

"Nope. So, who is he? Your boyfriend?" Syaoran felt very tense all of a sudden. He sucked up a lot of noodles and chewed vigorously.

"Okay… so you really don't know who Koshi is. Weird." She slurped up the last of her noodles as he watched her. Swiftly, she got up and placed her bowl and spoon in the sink and walked out of the kitchen.

'Polite… that's one thing you can't say about her. She's very impolite. Rude even.' Syaoran slurped up the rest of his noodles in peace. 'She obviously doesn't want me to talk to her.' He placed his own bowl and spoon into the sink and walked out of the kitchen and into his room. 'I guess I'll just do my homework.'

/Right, sure you will. You know you're not going to be able to concentrate until you figure out who that Koshi guy is. Face it, you're jealous!/ 'JEALOUS? Shut up brain! I never get jealous! Especially over something as dumb as whether Sakura has a boyfriend or not! I'm going to do my homework now, so you better start thinking algebra!'/Sorry!/

Syaoran pulled out his algebra and started to jot down numbers and variables. But his mind wasn't totally focused. A part of him of still thinking about Sakura and who on earth that Koshi guy could be.

"That Koshi can't really be her boyfriend… can he?"

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'Ugly,' thought Sakura as she lay on her bed on the other side of the house.

'Very ugly.' She squeezed her eyes shut, tying to remove his face from her view, but it kept popping back. 'He's as ugly as a baboon. A big, lummox of a baboon. A big, brown, shaggy haired, sweet, chocolaty brown-eyed, demi-god with a smile that makes me feel so-'

"WHY?" She screamed into her pillow. 'Why do I have to keep seeing him? That stupid Syaoran, how dare he enter my thoughts!'

"Xiao-Lang…," she murmured into her pillow. 'Why are you taunting me? I tried to show you that I didn't want to talk, but no, you didn't pay attention! Why are you here? Why did Step-Papa let you in here? Oh… I remember….' She sat up on her bed and stared out the window. 'I think I know why you're here.' She sighed. 'I remember how my Papa died. I remember how Mama was so sad. I remember how Step-Papa came.

'You made her so happy Step-Papa, even to her last dying day. For that I am grateful… but for everything you have put me through, I curse you. I wish you'd rot in hell. I wish you'd go back to where we first saw you, back when I was only seven. I almost wish Mama had never seen you, but you brought such happiness into her life… and mine too, at first…. But look at what you've done. Look at what you've made me become.' She stared off into the overcast sky and noticed the rain droplets beginning to fall. 'I remember when I first saw you… the first word you said was…'

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Did you notice all the paragraphs are in alphabetical order? took forever… I've been typing/laughing/thinking/chatting/eating for about O.o two, three hours now! . the pain I must endure to create these fanfix… -sigh- Oh well, I like it

I hope you all like the new chapter.

Anywho, READ and REVIEW! Or I shall BITE YOU!

**Adilee Sakura:** I love my ficcy too! I'm writing it… right now!

**SaKuRa-MIna:** I know! That teacher is the spawn of HELL! Of Hell! and yeah, isn't Syaoran's timing just great? Thanks for all the compliemts ; I can just feel my ego inflating.

**sweet-captor:** I'm glad you think it's kawaii, 'cause i think so too ! ;

**kikakai:** I loved the nice ass part, I'm not sure where I got that from, I just threw it in… shows you how deep and non-shallow Syaoran is right? Lol ;

Thank you all for the reviews!

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The above was edited as much as possible without taking away from the original idea. Oh, how do I love thee export?

As for the A/N's, I will try to keep them as original as possible, no matter how stupid or goofy or immature or incredibly fucked up they make me sound. I must save the remnants of my childhood and my stupidity. Recall that this was written when Iwhen I was younger. Much younger than I am now. At least, that's what happened with this chapter.

Thanks for reading,

Your mom, or Nish-Nish. Whichever you prefer. )


	3. Flashbacks

**Disclaimer****: **I do not own CCS.

**Warning:** This chapter contains sexual situations not suitable for those under the age of 16.

**Date of edit:** March 22, 2010

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**Find Hope**

**Chapter Three: **Flashbacks**  
**

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_"Why, hello there, little lady! Aren't you looking pretty today?"_

She still remembered what she wore… that day.

_I still remember what I wore… that day…._ Sakura's thoughts began to drift away and soon she was caught up in remembrance. The real world was left behind, and she tumbled softly through her past.

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A small girl stood by a balloon stand, entranced by the colourful balloons drifting about on the wind in a whirlwind of fantastic colours. Her short yellow and blue sundress swished around her as she tried to imitate the balloons motions. They swirled about in large sweeping circles, all bouncing one against the other. The sun shone down brightly on her honey-brown hair, which was, at the moment, swept up into two little pigtails at the sides of her head. Her emerald green eyes glittered in the sun as she realized that someone was speaking to her.

She stopped twirling and swayed a bit as she caught her balance. She looked up and realized that, a large man had spoken to her. "Excuse me?" she asked.

He smiled, and repeated, "Don't you look pretty today?" She grinned, glad someone had noticed the care she and her mother had put into her hair that morning.

The man was rather tall, though at her age, everyone was rather tall, and his brown hair flopped over his eyes, covering his grey irises. There was a smile playing on his face, and she could see his eyes as he swept back his hair; they were focused on her. He wore a blue shirt, unbuttoned, over a white tee-shirt. His jeans were a dark blue and his shoes were a shiny black. She looked down at her own feet. His shoes looked nothing like hers except that they were both shiny.

The tall man knelt in front of her, and pushed back his floppy hair again. He smelled nice, like cotton candy. She placed that thought in the back of her head, trying hard to make sure she would remember to ask her mother for some later on.

"So, are you here with your parents? Or all you all alone?" asked the man. His voice was odd. Rough, but smooth. Like scratchy sand mixed in with smooth pebbles…. Sakura knew it sounded odd, but that was the only way to describe the man's voice.

"No," answered Sakura. "I'm only here with Mama. Papa can't come 'cause Papa died when I was…." Sakura paused, and brought out her hands, ticking off finger as she counted. "Five, I was five when he died."

"Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that." The man's voice oozed with sincerity, and his face drooped, making him seem like a puppy Sakura had seen once in the pound. "So, where is your mother?" he asked, glancing around.

"Mama went to the bathroom." She leaned closer to the man and whispered conspiratorially, "She said, if I wait here and be a good girl, I can have a chocolate!" Sakura grinned again, looking as carefree as any other child in the park.

"My, what a pretty smile you have." He gestured behind them as he stood up. "Want to go sit on that bench, over there?" His hand went out to her. "We can wait for your Mama together."

"Okay!" yelped Sakura, happy to have found a friend. She took his hand and followed him to the bright blue bench and watched as he sat down on it. She plopped herself down next to him and began talking once more. "My name is Kinomoto Sakura! What's your name?"

The man stared at her for a while, his face blank. Then he threw back his head and laughed. It was a loud laugh and Sakura felt like laughing too, but she wasn't sure why he was laughing. Was he making fun of her?

Soon the man's laughter subsided and her looked down to her puzzled face. "I'm sorry," he began, "I'm just surprised that I didn't tell you my name." He held out his hand and when she placed her hand into his firm grip, he shook it, saying, "My name is Yamada Yukio."

Sakura smiled up at him again.

Suddenly, she got up off the bench, her eyes darting from one side of the zoo to the other.

Yukio got up and stood beside her, "What's wrong Kinomoto-chan?"

"I can hear Mama." The little girl continued to scan the crowd until her eyes landed on a tall willowy figure. "There she is!" she yelled, pointing, "Come on Yukio-san, you can meet Mama!" She yanked Yukio by the arm towards her mother.

"Sakura? Sakura-chan where are you?" called out the woman. Her back was to them, her long waist-length brown hair shimmering in the sunlight. She was wearing jeans and a light blue tank top.

"Mama, I'm right here, behind you!" piped up Sakura.

The woman whisked around and was soon kneeling, her arms wrapped tightly around Sakura in a big hug.

"Hoe-uh… Mama… you're squishing me…."

Sakura's mother let go of her, but stayed kneeling, her arms resting lightly on Sakura's shoulders. Her eyes stared deep into Sakura's, conveying warmth. "I thought you left me."

"Mama!" Sakura was astounded by her mother's words. "I wouldn't do that!"

How would she have gotten her chocolate bar, then?

"I know darling, I was just scared." She straightened up, causing her brown hair to swing slightly. "Oh!" she exclaimed, noticing Yukio, "Why, hello."

"Oh, Mama, this is Yamada Yukio," Sakura said, deciding to introduce the two. "Yukio, this is Mama."

Yukio and Sakura's mother laughed lightly. "Sakura, you should call him 'Yamada-san'."

Sakura pouted, and spoke quickly, eager to dispel the idea that she had been being polite. "But he's my _friend_, Mama!"

Her mother gave her a rueful look before turning back to Yukio, "Thank you for taking care of my daughter. I'm Kinomoto Nadeshiko." She held out her hand and he grasped hers, smiling.

"It's nice to meet you, KInomoto-san," he said. "I know this is a little forward, but, I was wondering if you two lovely ladies like to go out for ice cream?" asked Yukio.

Nadeshiko blushed. "Oh, I guess so," she said. "C'mon Sakura, let's go get some ice cream." She took one of Sakura's hands and Yukio took the other. They walked hand in hand to the ice cream shop, chatting quietly the whole way.

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He had been nice. Damn nice.

But that was the beginning. Everyone was nice in the beginning. When did it all start to change? When did his true colours start to show?

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Yamada-san, her step-father, and Mama, had been married for about a year when Sakura entered grade three. She had been the flower girl at the wedding and had been allowed to wear a really pretty white dress and shoes that had been very shiny.

Nadeshiko had gotten sick when Sakura entered grade four.

Nadeshiko was always in bed. Sometimes, Sakura would sneak into her room at night to watch her sleep. Her mother's face was sallow and pale. She seemed to get thinner and thinner with time. Her bones were beginning to show beneath her skin, and her hair had lost its lustre. As time went on, she seemed to get weaker and weaker.

Now it was almost time for Sakura to enter grade five.

Yamada-san was always very nice to her, especially when Mama wasn't around. He'd give her long hugs, and cuddle up with her while they watched movies on the TV. She guessed it was because Mama couldn't do that with her anymore, on account of her having to rest all the time.

But, lately, the hugs had become more... touchy. Sakura wasn't sure how to explain it. It was almost like Yamada-san was trying to rub himself against her. And when he cuddled with her, his hands always managed to find their way to her chest; even when she had her arms crossed, he'd find a way to push his arms underneath. He'd rub his nose against her ear too, and stroke her face and hair. Sakura thought that was what fathers did with daughters. She had no memories of her father and nothing to measure Yamada-san's actions against, so she thought was going on was normal, albeit a bit uncomfortable.

One day, when she came home from school, Yamada-san wasn't there to greet her. She went up the stairs to her mother's room but she wasn't there either. Worried, she went around the house, checking in the bathrooms and the kitchen and the closets. She even checked under the beds.

There was nobody.

Feeling a little scared, she decided to go to her friend Tomoyo's house. Tomoyo's mom would know where her mother was! They talked on the phone, almost every day.

But when she opened the door, it was pouring rain. There was no way she could make it to Tomoyo's house in this weather; there was lightning and everything! She slammed the door as a rather nasty crackling noise erupted outside the house!

She ran up through the house and back into the room her mother and stepfather now stayed in. Maybe her mother had come in while she had been searching! But all she saw was an empty bed.

Her feelings of fear grew stronger, and sat down on the empty bed, trying to calm herself down.

But her thoughts kept returning to her mother and her stepfather. Where was Yamada-san? Her mother?

She shrieked as a particularly loud rumble of thunder sounded. She jumped into the bed, taking comfort in the warm sheets. They smelled like her mother, like hyacinths.

Suddenly, she had an idea. She would take a nap. Her reasoning was simple; the kind of thinking that only a child could manage. Every time she woke up from a nap, her mother was always there. At least, until she got sick, and couldn't walk around as much. But this was an emergency, so surely her mother would show up!

She cuddled up into her mother's bed and despite her strong efforts, cried herself to sleep, wondering where her mother and stepfather were.

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She wished she had never fallen asleep. That she had never woken up.

The sound of crying echoed in her head.

But she had woken up…. She had.

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Sakura squinted as she stirred in the bedding.

She was sure she had heard a noise.

She blinked a few times, trying to make her vision clearer. She began to focus and she saw the vague outline of someone sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Mama?" she whispered. Her voice was soft but in the small room it seemed huge. The drapes were wide open and she could see the storm still raging outside. The lightning lit up the room a few times and she could tell that the figure on the bed was shaking. As she crawled towards it, she realized that the person was crying. She edged closer and hugged the person, her short arms not able to make it all the way around.

"Don't cry," she whispered. She patted them awkwardly, trying to do as her mother had done for her so many times. It must have worked, since the person stopped shaking after a while. The soft crying noises subsided and she continued to clumsily embrace them. She looked up at the person's face and a crack of lightning showed her that it was Yamada-san, and he was staring straight at her.

"Yamada-san, why are you crying?" She continued to clutch him but her arms were tired and she wanted a better view of him, so she let go and sat next to him. He was still staring at her, his face still. The only sign of his earlier bout of crying were a few tear tracks down his cheeks. "Yamada-san what's wrong?" She frowned at him. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"She's gone," growled Yukio, his eyes locked on hers.

"Who's gone?" she asked, wondering if Yukio was having a fever-dream. But he hadn't felt particularly warm...

"And she's not coming back." He kept staring at her, and still she didn't understand. He moved toward her, and she backed up instinctively. But he came closer and closer and she kept moving back, sliding along the bed until her back hit the headboard. She scrambled under the covers, managing to cover her legs and tried to pull the covers up over her head but she couldn't; she was frozen, her back pressed hard against the headboard, her hands grasping at the sheets. She couldn't stop looking at Yukio; he had captured her eyes in his.

"Who's not coming back?" she whispered, afraid to take her eyes off of him.

"It's all your fault you know."

Sakura blinked. What kind of a fever-dream was this?

She remembered Mama talking about fever-dreams once. They were dreams you had when you had a fever, and sometimes, you'd be crazy and think they were real.

"You're such a dirty girl. I wanted to be your friend, but, no!" He turned away from her, his head in his hands. "You had to be so, so charming, so beautiful!"

"I loved her you know," he said, his voice quiet, strained. "But I always wanted you."

"Wanted me?" Her forehead was crinkling as she strained to understand what he was trying to tell her.

"Shut up!" Yukio's head twitched on his neck. He shifted, throwing dirty glances at her. It was almost as if he was mad at her. But it didn't make sense. Why would Yamada-san be mad at her? Unless if he had found out about that cookie she had dropped inside a vase the other day. But honestly, it hadn't been her fault!

"I couldn't have you while she was here. I knew that. When she got sick, it was like, like God was sending me a gift." He stood up, started pacing the room, lightning lighting up his face every few steps. She wished he would turn on the light. "It's all your fault!" He screamed, finally turning to her again.

His breathes were coming heavily, his chest thumping, in and out, in and out. "The first time I saw you, I knew I needed to touch you, to feel you. But that was all your fault. You were the one that made me want you. Made me want you more than her."

Sakura felt like crying. This wasn't making any sense at all. Where was her mother?

Yukio made no sound when he grabbed her. It was like magic; one minute she was with her back to the headboard and the next she was being pulled into his arms. He held her tightly; as though he never meant to let go. His breaths were coming in shallow gasps.

Sakura swallowed nervously, her mind racing, yet strangely empty at the same time. It was like her thoughts were going to fast for her to focus on any of them.

He jerked them both back, until his back was against the headboard. He sat her in his lap, or rather just in front of him, his legs spread in a "V". She was facing forward and he was stroking her hair.

He started to nuzzle the area right behind her ear and she tried to wriggle out of his grip, but he held on tightly to her. Then he did something really weird; he licked the side of her neck, tilting her head to the side, so that her shoulder-length hair cascaded down over her left shoulder.

She yelped when she felt the roughness of his tongue stroke her neck, and struggled to get loose. "Yamada-san! What are you _doing?_" She tried to get out of his grip, but he was much stronger; he kept her head tilted and sucked on the hollow of her neck.

"Yamada-san! What-" his mouth clamped down on hers and suddenly she was lying on her back, struggling against Yukio's weight. She tried to push his up with her arms, but he just closed the gap between them, leaning in further. She squirmed and tried to kick him, but he just put more pressure on her legs and soon she was immobile, pinned down by his body.

All the time she had been pushing against him, he had been pressing his lips to hers; biting, sucking, and licking her. It was disgusting. She as if he was a fat kid and she was a really tasty candy. She promised herself not to be mean to candy when she ate it from now on.

He pressed his tongue against her lips, demanding entry. He was rewarded when she gasped in a little breath; he easily stuck his tongue in and began his assault against her mouth. He swirled his tongue around and about, exploring every crevice of her mouth. By now, she was crying, tears leaking from her bright green eyes. He didn't seem to notice.

She could feel him pressing against her thighs, becoming harder. She moved desperately, trying to somehow get out of there, out of that room. Yukio moved unexpectedly, his mouth leaving hers, and began to suck on her neck again. Her lips felt swollen, but at least she was free to yell.

"Mama!" She cried out, "Mama! Help me!"

"She's not coming Sakura, darling," answered Yukio. He had stopped sucking on her neck and was now sticking his arm up her school blouse while the other held her down.

She shivered; his cold hands gave her goosebumps, "Mama, Mama! Mama, where _are_ you?"

With his free arm, he grabbed her wrists and pinned them above her head. He smiled and started to kiss her again.

She didn't understand what was happening. All she knew was that this was wrong, and it hurt. She kept crying, her sobs muffled by his lips. It was getting harder to breathe, harder to get breaths in; it was like all she was doing was exhaling.

She felt his hand leave her chest. Heard, more than felt, him unbuckle his belt.

She jerked away from him with renewed vigor. "Stop! Yamada-san! Stop, please!"

He growled and pulled her head back to his, and set upon kissing her even harder, making the kisses even more deep. She felt him take off her underwear and she whimpered; she knew what came next. She and Tomoyo had been talking about it before, when she had slept over at Tomoyo's house.

She screamed and screamed. Or at least tried to. Her yells were silenced by his mouth and his sour kisses. She kept squirming, determined to fight; there had to be a way out. There had to be.

Yukio grunted as he thrust himself into her.

Sakura shrieked in pain, her mouth free for the time being. Pain, pain, pain. Razor-sharp and dull at the same time. She screamed, tried scratching at him, and he back-handed her with his right hand, straight across her face. She fell silent immediately. No one had ever hit her before. Her eyes wide, she stared at the open door, willing someone to walk in. To ask what was going on in here. To come help her.

Someone… please come help.

Yukio continued to make grunting noises as he had his way with her. Sakura stopped fighting against him. Stopped doing anything really. Just lay back, quietly, continuing to will someone to enter the door. Her body moved with each of his thrusts, but he pain was somewhere else now. She was somewhere else. She was at the door, waiting.

Yukio's grunts got faster, his thrusts quickening. She felt something warm and gross inside of her, and she grimaced, feeling sicker than she already was. Yukio lay down heavy atop of her.

Hours later, or so it seemed to Sakura, Yukio got up and out of her. She lay still on the bed, contemplating what had just happened. Her eyes were still on the door.

"If you tell anyone what happened, I'll tell them the truth," Yukio began, his back to her, his hand on the doorknob. He held his clothes over his arm.

"You liked it."He paused. "I know you did.

"I bet you had this all planned since I first met you." He kept his back to her and continued to face the door."I'll tell everyone how you did this to me. To yourself." Again he paused. "You disgust me.

"You dirty child. That's all you are. A dirty, dirty child."

He left the room with the bang of the door shutting, leaving Sakura alone with the morbid thoughts he had given her. Also, the door had closed. And no one had come to save her. To find her. To ask, what is this? To demand, do stop, stop right now!

She continued to lie there, thinking, until the sun shone in through the window. Then she took a shower and went to school.

She did not tell anyone what had happened.

After school that day, there had been many people in her house. They told her who Yukio had been talking about.

She understood now. She was a dirty child. And dirty children had to be dealt with in dirty ways.

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Sakura breathed into her wet pillow. Now of course, she knew better. She knew what he had done was wrong, she knew what he was going to keep on doing was wrong, she knew what he was still doing was wrong. But there wasn't really anything she could do. She couldn't lie.

He was right; she did deserve it.

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A few days ago, Sakura had opened the door to see a woman and a young male. The woman had walked in and the boy had followed, head down, meek façade in place. Yukio had come into the room at that point and had kicked Sakura out of the living room and into her own room. She had been more than happy to oblige.

The woman and Yukio had spoken for a long time before Sakura had heard the door shut. Then, just as quickly, her door had swung open.

"This is Syaoran Li, Sakura." Yukio had introduced the young man to her. "Syaoran, this is Sakura.

"He's going to stay with us for a while. At least until my sister, your aunt, decides it time for him to return." Yukio was behind Syaoran, one arm around the younger male's waist, the other playing with Syaoran's hair, his own head poking over his shoulder. "Just wanted you to know we have company."

Yukio had smiled a smile Sakura had learned to fear. He was excited to try something new. "He's just like you Sakura; he's a dirty child." He had then turned Syaoran, using his hips as a guide for the young man. "C'mon Syaoran, let me show you your room."

Yukio had smiled at Sakura before leading Syaoran away and shutting the door.

Sakura had frowned, trying to interpret the scene that had just unfolded in front of her. Surely Yukop hadn't meant…

She had tried to force the thoughts out of her head. She had almost succeeded too. At least, until she became aware of, and thoroughly grossed out by the guest bedroom's bed squeaking away.

She had catalogued this bit of information away. So Yamada-san swung both ways. She had wondered vaguely why she hadn't known of this fact earlier, but told had herself that this was a blessing in disguise. Yes, another person was in the house, but it was someone who could possibly detract attention away from her.

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That had been three days ago. Yukio had only used her once during those three days. That was almost a new record. Maybe, maybe today she would be left alone as well.

Sakura wiped her eyes with the back of her sleeve and put on a pair of sweat pants and a tank top. She sat on the bed's edge, staring into space. The alarm system beeped, indicating someone had just entered the house.

Fuck.

She looked at the time. The letters glared at her, accusingly: **11:45 PM**.

Damn it! She had wasted her whole free night going over her stupid memories. She pushed herself into the bed, snuggling deep into the covers, hoping that Yamada-san would use the boy tonight.

Her door creaked open and she squinted into the light.

"Sakura-chan," came the sweet drawl that was apt to make her shudder. "So nice of you to wait up for me." The figure walked towards the bed and leaned over, kissing her lips. She whimpered and he smiled.

"Now, now," he said, stroking her chin. "You've been on vacation for three days. We're going to have to work overtime to make up for this."

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Please PM me if you find errors in grammar/spelling. Thanks for reading.


	4. Detention Deserves Punishment

**PWAHAHAHAHHAHHA! **Here I am… yet again… You know… I really should be doing my socials… oh, who cares?

/I care./

Who the hell are you?

/I am your brain, now, STUDY/

Go away!

/Call me Nish Nish! The Study BRAIN/

I AM NISH NISH! GET OUT OF MY HEAD! –bangs head against wall–

/NO! Study/

–bangs head repetitively against wall–

/Like… peace out man, whoa, im a BRAIN/

uh… R u all rite der?

/Up where/

I gonna havata rite a khaptur! Feel the utmost calm… feel free/

_HEY! You TWO! Stop goofing OFF!_

yoooo, Hoo iz u?

_LOOK at what you've done to her! ill have to fix her now… _

–_fixes Nishasha's brain and Nishasha_–

/Who is that/

_Why am I stuck with imbeciles, God? WHY?_

/HEY! I am a BRAIN/

_I'm Nishasha's muse... B'dobb._

COOL!

/I thought I was your muse/

Now I have A REAL muse!

/ I'm on strike/

Nishasha's face goes blank-

_You just had to do that eh? –fixes Nishasha_–_ Get on to the reviews!_

Yes MA'AM!

* * *

**Reviews**

**sweet-captor**: ew?Is that a good thing or a bad thing?

**kikakai**: I NOE! He's EVIL! EVIL I TELL YOU! EVIL! I hate him!

**SaKuRa-Mina:**Yukio is a total DIGUSTORAMA! LIKE… EW! OH! I get what sweet-captor meant now… I think

**Babybluestarangel:** What's going to happen next? What's going to happen next? I'll tell you what's going to happen next… STUFF!

**Buunbuun:** Yeah,Yukio molested Syaoran too! That sick dirty bastard! I hold nothing against bisexuals, just PEDOPHILES! And RAPISTS! Like HIM!

**LadyTrista:** We're all sick at heart

**whoa:** I love deep and freaky things… MWAHAHHAHA! I want to know what happens next too! Oh wait, I do! I know all the way to chapter FIVE! Now… to get it all typed… hmmm…

**Dragonstar03:** I'm glad you think it's good even with the gross content

**Sakura Sayoran:** I love it when people talk to their own brains… MwAHAHAHAH! I have to stop laughing… I NOE! They have to ESCAPE! But when? Hmmmm… I'll have to think about that… MWAHAHAHAHHAHA!

* * *

**Initial Beginning**

"…" Speech

_'…' Thoughts_

/.../ Inner Thoughts

_Disclaimer: __I still don't own CCS. __I do own this plot! __and I own all of Yukio's dirty perverted ass. -.-;_

* * *

**Find Hope**

**Chapter Four…**

* * *

"Hoe-uh…" Sakura moaned.

_God, this is painful... _

Last night had been especially rough. Yukio had managed to keep her up all night, until four in the morning. Sighing, she rolled over and clicked off her annoying alarm clock which had been beeping for about a minute now. Yukio sure had made up for those three days….

_Bleh, 6:01…. Time to attack the shower..._

She walked through her morning routine in a half-asleep daze. Get out of bed; yawn; grab clothes from closet; almost trip over homework and fully wake up at that point; grab foot and silently curse.

She opened the door, slowly, very slowly, making sure it didn't creak. She stuck her head out her door and checked if there was anyone out there.

The coast was clear.

She tiptoed silently to the bathroom, her light feet making quiet 'pad-pad' noises against the hardwood flooring. She took hold of the doorknob and twisted it slowly. It didn't open.

She sighed. It must have been stuck again. Continuing to sigh, she jiggled the knob a couple times, trying to get it to open. It still didn't move. She swung her clothes over her shoulder andgrasped the handle with both hands. Bracing herself, she pulled as hard as she could on the knob, yanking back with all her strength. It still did not move.

She was now pissed off enough to try to attack the bathroom door; she didn't remember why she had taken the care of being so quiet. She raised her arm and was about to pound the door down with her bare fists when the door opened, revealing a very wet Syaoran with his hair plastered to his head.

"Yes?" he asked.

"You cow!" hissed Sakura. "This is_my_time in the bathroom!" She stared up at him glaring. "That's_my_ bathroom! And I'm supposed to use it now!" To emphasize her point, she poked him hard on his bare chest.

_BARE CHEST?_

Sakura looked down to her hand. Oh yeah, his chest was bare. Her eyes widened and she blushed, stepping back. She looked down andsaw that he was covered with a white towel. Oh lord... she had just poked a half-naked male. Sure, she did a hell of a lot worse with Step-Papa, but hey, this guy was a freaking stranger!

Syaoran, on the other hand, didn't seem to notice. Actually, he did. He was currently staring at the spot where she had poked him. "Your bathroom, huh?" He looked up at her, his face expressionless. "Let me get my things."

He turned around and walked into the bathroom. Sakura followed him up to the doorway, and leaned against the wall, watching him.She tried to stop herself from watching him.

_Oh god... turn around Sakura! Avert your eyes! Avert! You know you don't want to watch... _

_Oh what the hell..._

She gave up her internal struggle and watched him. She saw his back muscles tense and relax as he leaned over, grabbing his clothes. God, he was hot. And lord, he had muscles. And abs. And god knew what else.

He got up and walked over to her. A confused look crossed Sakura's face. What was he doing? He walked towards her until he was right in front of her. Then, he leaned in closer and closer, until she could feel his breath on her ear. She shuddered at the sensation and felt her heart beat faster.

"You can use _your_ bathroom now." His voice was harsh and hostile. "I see you had the same idea as me; waking up early so that Uncle Yukio wouldn't bother you. Am I right?" He pulled away from her and stared her in the eye.

"Excuse me?" answered Sakura, glaring straight back at him. How dare he imply that she was second to him. "I had the same idea as _you_? I've been doing this since I was in grade five, Xiao-Lang. This is my turf. And that," she said as she pointed behind him, "is _my_ bathroom."

He looked at her, tilting his head. "Since grade five?"

"Yes, since the beginning of grade five to be exact. Why, do you have a problem with that?"

"Nothing happened to me until the summer of grade five."

Sakura stared at him. She didn't see why he had just said that. Things like that were not supposed to be spoken of. Suddenly, she felt the desperate need to get his hands off her shoulders, to break eye contact with him, to do something that would force him away from her.

"I bet you thought that when I came here, he'd forget about you, huh? That you'd be free to do what you wanted." His voice was icy and his words were too close to what she really felt to be comfortable.

She froze. The urge to move, to run, to scream rushed through her body. The urge to do something that would make him shut up started to rush through her as well.

/It's true you know, Sakura. You did wish that he would take away Step-Papa's attention./

_But, I didn't know-_

/You thought you'd be free. You thought a lot of very mean things. And you know why, because you're bad; because you're evil. "You are a dirty, sick child."/ Yukio's words echoed in her mind. Ringing true in every way.

_I am, aren't I?_ She sighed. The world wasn't fair.

Before she could do anything, before she could try to pretend that she was not evil, before she could try to tell him that she was not dirty, he moved, and walked out the door. She stared after him, watching him go. He walked into his room, the guest room, and shut the door.

/Bad child, look what you've done. Instead of making him like you, you've pushed him away. I guess its cause you're a bad dirty-/

_SHUT UP! _

Her inner voice shut up and she scrambled into the bathroom, shutting the door behind her. Wiping away tears, she got ready for school.

* * *

Syaoran walked out of his new room several minutes later. He wore a white shirt over a black tee-shirt. Around his neck was a spiked dog collar and he had a silver watch on his wrist. He wore black baggy pants that only reached his knees and a pair of well worn shoes. 

_Damn, _thought Syaoran as he made some toast. _Why am I such a bastard?_ He threw the bread into the toaster.

/Because you are evil./

_Shut up will you?_ Syaoran frowned and pulled a chair out from the table before he sat down. _I know I'm evil. It's my fault that I get used every night. It's my fault that they want me. It's all my fault. But it's not her fault that she might have thought bad things about me. I thought bad things about her too._

/So, you're twice as evil as she may be./

_I am. I thought that when I came here, it would be better. That Mother was sending me there to keep me away from the men that she brought home each night._

/Oh how wrong you were. She brought you here to punish you. Because you are evil. Because you are a dirty, sick, perverted little child./

_Well, she always gave me trinkets and things to make up for it. So, I couldn't have been **that** evil._

/Oh, but you were. Remember that conversation your mother had? The one where she said "That son of mine is horrible! The only way to keep the devils in him from getting out is to punish him. But then the devils will be angered, so we must lavish him with gifts to keep him happy. Happy and in pain. That will keep the devils down–"/

_SHUT UP!_

His head was silent. He put his head in his hands. _Oh yeah Li, that was the perfect way to make Sakura like you, scare the living daylights out of her by telling her what you think she thinks._

He snorted. Sometimes he was just too stupid for his own good. He frowned. Was it just him or did the air smell weird? It smelled like... burning?

He paused and sniffed at the air. Something was burning. It smelled like... his eyes widened. His toast!

He leapt up and grabbed his pieces of toast, which were now burnt black. Throwing them from hand to hand, he sat down and automatically started to chew. _It's not good to waste food. That makes Mother mad._

/Mother's not here now is she/

_No, but Uncle Yukio is._

* * *

Sakura exited the bathroom with her hair flopping all over her face. She blew it up away from her eyes, but it just flopped back down. She wore a red tank top beneath a black net shirt. She accessorized with a spiked dog collar and studded bracelets. She wore deep red skater pants and a pair of black, metal tipped boots. 

She grabbed her backpack from her room and tiptoed as quietly as possible into the kitchen where she saw Syaoran eating a slice of severely burnt bread. Raising an eyebrow, she began to make her own toast, her back to Syaoran.

"I'm sorry."

Sakura blinked several times. "Excuse me?" she asked, still facing the wall.

"I said 'I'm sorry.' I'm sorry I said those stupid things to you. I don't know what I was thinking. It's just, I wanted to know if you thought the same things I did."

Sakura was confused. She'd just spent several minutes crying in the shower and the idiot was apoligizing now? She shifted from foot to foot. "Are you saying you thought that coming here would make things better for you? That in coming here, I would take up the attention and you'd be left scot-free?"

"Not entirely. To tell you the truth, I had no clue why I came here. Or where here was for that matter." He shrugged, though she couldn't see it.

"I didn't know you were coming here until I saw you." She took her evenly browned toast out of the toaster and sat down across from him.

"I didn't know who you were until Uncle Yukio told me. I thought things would be better here."

"Things aren't good here," mumbled Sakura.

"I know," answered Syaoran.

They chewed on their toast in silence for a while. Syaoran finished first and he stared at Sakura for a while.

Sakura finished her toast and looked up to see Syaoran staring at her. "What, is there something on my face?" She swatted at her mouth, trying to brush away invisible crumbs.

"No, nothing wrong, I just wondered if you wanted a ride to school?"

"School? A Ride? As in, you drive and I sit and feel the wind flow through my hair?"

Syaoran smiled. "Yeah."

"Nope." Sakura got up and put her plate in the sink.

"Why not?"

"I don't know." She shrugged.

"If you don't know why you can't go with me, then you have no reason not to go with me, and so,you have to go with me."

"No. I'm not going with you." She grabbed her backpack and headed for the door.

He grabbed his bag and followed her. Then he jumped in front of her and blocked her way out. Grabbing her wrists, he held her in front of him. "Give me one good reason or I'm carrying you to my car."

"I… well, you see, there's a perfectly good reason as to why I should not get a ride with you." She could so totally bluff her way out of this.

"And that would be?" He stared at her.

Okay, so maybe there wasn't a way to bluff her way out.

"Fine, I'll take a stupid ride with you. Are you happy? Will you let go of my hands now?"

"Oh no," said Syaoran, lifting Sakura up, "I'm not letting you run away."

He carried herout of the houseand to the passenger seat of his Jaguar. Then he got into the driver's seat and pulled out of the garage.

_Yay, I get a ride!_

Sakura was feeling very happy at the moment, and was trying hard not to show it. Damn,Syaoran was pretty.In fact, he wasn't justpretty, he was really pretty. Pretty fly... for a Chinese guy.

_Ohgod._

She had not just thought that.She shuddered and Syaoran noticed.

"Are you cold?" He asked innocently. "I can put up the heat if you want."

"No," answered Sakura, "Someone just walked over my grave."

"Uh… okay."

/ACK! SAKURA! Are you mental? SOMEONE JUST WALKED OVER MY GRAVE? How sad is that? You shall never learn now will you./

_Oh, put a sock in it._

Soon they entered the student parking lot. Sakura got out of the car without a word to Syaoran. She didn't want to embarrass herself anymore.

* * *

_Damn… this is boring…. Guess where I am! Guess where I am! I'm in the world's most boring place on earth! Mrs. Spool's class!_

Sakura sighed and turned sideways, staring out the window yet again.

_Hoe. What I wouldn't do to become a bird and fly straight out of this hellhole. Meh… They should at least play some kind of music or something in here to keep us awake._

_I mean can we have a bit of non-boring noise in this room?I mean Mrs. Spool is a really, really boring lady with a really, really, boring voice. I wonder how she deals with it… does she even know that she's boring? I wonder what's worse… living in ignorance and not knowing you boring or knowing that you're boring and not being able to do anything about it?_

Sakura's eyes started to follow the trail of a wispy grey cloud. _She could make this place a hell of a lot more interesting if she played some music. Something lively, upbeat and popular. Like…I know, Hey Ya! By OutKast! That's really lively, really upbeat, and it sounds so cool!_

Her head began to bob up and down as she sang to the music in her head. _My baby don't mess around because she loves me so and this I know fo' sho'. And if she really wants ta' but can't stand to see me walk out the do'. Don't try to fight the feeling, 'cause the thought alone is killing me right now… Thank God for Mom and Dad for sticking through together 'cause we don't know how…._

She paused a bit, and started to beat out the tempo on her desk with her fingernails. _Hey fellas! What's cooler than being cool? Ice cold! I can't hear you! I said, I said, what's cooler than being cool? ICE COLD!_

Her whole body began tomove as she moved her lips to the words, completely oblivious to the world around her.

_All right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all ri-_

_**OH NO!** _

_Why is everyone so quiet?_

She slumped her shoulders and stopped drumming her fingers on the desk. She began to turn ever so slowly to Mrs. Spool's direction. She was looking straight at her. _Huh? Why is she looking at me? Hmm… I wonder._

/Sakura you nitwit! She asked you a question./

Her eyes widened in shock. _What do I do?_

/Answer it./

_What was the question?_

/How should I know, I wasn't paying attention, I was staring out a window./

_You cow! I should throw you away! I need a new brain._

"Well Sakura?" came Mrs. Spool's highly rhinal voice. "We're waiting yet again."

"Uh, well, you see Mrs. Spool, uh…" Sakura became flustered and began to flush a deep pink.

_Oh Kami! Save me please!_

Syaoran watched as Sakura stated to blush.

_Stupid Mrs. Spool; why is she always picking on Sakura? There are tons of other kids who aren't paying attention._

His eyes swept around the room, confirming his thoughts. About seventy-five percent of the class was half-asleep. The remaining twenty-five percent _were_ asleep.

He turned his gaze back to Sakura.

_She looks pretty when she blushes._

He continued to stare at her with a silly grin on his face until he realized what he had just thought.

_GAH! Did I say that?_

He sighed. Life was starting to get rather complex yet again.

_I better help her out. This teacher is practically the spawn of Satan. She was probably so boring, even he couldn't stand her so he sent her up here._

He chuckled to himself as Sakura continued to buy time, frantically reading the board. '

She thought fervently, _Ididn't become a speed-reader by magic! I've had tons of practice! So why don't these words make sense?_

Mrs. Spool was about to open her mouth when a voice called out from near Sakura.

"Sixty watts, Mrs. Spool."

_Oh no… whoever said that is sure in for an earful. She's going to kick their ass,_ thought Sakura. _They did save me though. I hope they're smart and they stay quiet though._

Mrs. Spool's eyes were bulging.

_Uh oh, someone's having a temper tantrum._

Mrs. Spool sucked in her breath and puffed up like a blowfish. "Who said that?" she thundered. "Who said that? Who _dares_ to defy my authority? Who? Who?"

_Gee, she sure sounds like a little kid. Whining about nothing. No, strike that, she's an owl. All that 'who-who'ing makes her sound like one. And it doesn't help that her eyes are as big as saucers._

"I did," called outa voice.

_Oh no! Shut up whoever you are! You're going to get in big trouble!_ Sakura felt horrible. Whoever had just helped her out was just making a bigger mess of things.

"Who? Who are you? Show yourself! Stand up! _Up_!"Mrs. Spoolwas bellowing now and Sakura thought she sounded very much like an angry hippopotamus.

_Whoever you are, stay quiet, don't stand up! You're my rescuer! Don't get caught now!_

Sakura noticed a motion at her side and gasped when Syaoran stood up. "I did it," came his clear voice. "Me."

"You? Why, y-you! YOU!"The teacher was sputtering; specks of her spittleflew all over the front row. "How dare you defy my authority!"

"Defy your authority?" He raised an eyebrow at her, causing her to turn a bright tomato red. "All I did was answer the question. Isn't that my job? Aren't I a student? It's not fair that Sakura always gets asked all the questions, I want to learn too." He casually crossed his arms and leaned back against the edge of this desk.

_Oh no!_ screeched Sakura in her head. She tried to sendSyaoran an emergency life or death message. _Sit down! Do NOT get her mad! You'll get a detention! You **don't **want a detention!_

He didn't seem to receive it. And if he did, he didn't give a sign that he did.

Mrs. Spool's face was on the verge of turning **purple**. Her fists were balled and down at her sides, shaking. She was a powder keg and Syaoran had lit the fuse.

"You cocky little brat!" She sputtered at him. "That is **it**! I have had enough! Everyone gets double homework! And **you**!" she pointed a chubby finger at Syaoran, "**You**, little man, get detention!"

Syaoran stared at the teacher's chubby little finger. "Is that supposed to scare me?"

_Oh Kami-sama!Syaoran, you know what Step-Papa does when you get detention!_ A bemused look crossed her face. _Or do you? Oh no! You've never**had** detention!_

"That is it!" exploded Mrs. Spool yet again. "I will not_stand_ for this tomfoolery! I will not!"

Syaoran sat down, his face blank. Mrs. Spool calmed down somewhat but her face was still cast with a reddish tinge, as though she had on too much blusher. She continued to teach and Sakura went on thinking.

_Syaoran! Step-Papa is going to be so mad! He doesn't like it when I have detention! Detention is not good! It's evil! And you know what happens to evil like you and me. _

_It must be punished._

* * *

When the bell rang, all the kids ran out the door, grumbling about the immense amount of homework scheduled for that night. Before leaving, Sakura shot Syaoran a sorrowful and tossed him a note before scurrying out the door. 

Syaoran blinked. _What on earth could that be?_ Looking up to see if Mrs. Spool was looking, (and she was not) he unfolded the note. He read it quickly and frowned at the childishly scrawled words.

_Syaoran, _

_Detention was not a good idea. It's not good to anger Mrs. Spool or Step-Papa. Detentions anger Step-Papa in a way I do not believe you know of yet._

_Please come home fast, _

_Sakura_

Syaoran scowled, staring at thescrap of paper.

_What does she mean detention wasn't a good idea? Detention is never an idea. Does she think I did this on purpose?_

He had a confused look on his face as he analyzed the rest of the note.

_It's not good to anger Mrs. Spool or Uncle? What a hypocrite! She makes Mrs. Spool mad all the time. Bah._

_So... detentions anger Uncle in a way I do not know of yet…. Now what does that mean? Maybe some new type of torture? He's probably going to sell me to someone or something._

_Please come home… fast? _He paused. _Does that mean she cares about me? That she wants to see my face quickly? That, that, she likes me? She wouldn't very well ask me to come home quickly if she didn't like me. _

He blushed.

_Ack, what does it matter?'_

/It matters and you know it./

_Gah!_

Syaoran mentally attacked himself. He crumpled the note into a ball and threw it to the floor.

_NO! What have I done?_ He grabbed the note and smoothed out all of its wrinkles before stashing it into his pocket.

"Now, Mr. Li!" screeched Mrs. Spool, interrupting his thoughts, "I shall teach you to never be cheeky **again**!"

And so, Syaoran's first detention at his new school began with an irate Mrs. Spool screaming away, strands of her hair flopping out of her beehive as she wriggled about, trying to emphasise the points of good behaviour in a classroom.

* * *

Sakura was running home. She couldn't be late today. Not when Syaoran had detention. 

_Step-Papa's going to kill him!_

She shuddered as she ran, and not because of the cold. Her mind was on the memories of her first detention. When she had come home,Yukio had beaten her so badly that she had gone to the hospital. Yukio hadtold the hospital workersthat she had fallen down the stairs.

Panting, she neared her house. Slowing down, she walked down the path and opened the door.

"Step-Papa?" She called out, "Step-Papa, are you here?" She shut the door behind her and started to walk down the hallway.Where was he?She continued walking and suddenly there he was, in front of her, staring right into her emerald eyes. She looked down and tried not to look important.

He smiled and walked closer to her, eventually hugging her. She stiffened in his grasp but that only made him clutch her closer. "Where is the boy?" His voice was the same as it had always been. Gravelly and yet smooth.

Sakura swallowed hard. "I don't know."

Yukio's grip loosened and he stared at her straight in the eyes. "What do you mean you don't know where he is?"

Sakura licked her lips. "I mean, I don't know Step-Papa. I didn't see him today."

Yukio growled and pulled Sakura in for a particularly hard kiss. Seconds after, he threw her to the ground.

"You just had to ruin my day didn't you? Here I am, actually happy for once and you two ruin my day!" He sneered, his face morphing into a mask of disgust."I can't believe this! You should know where your evil counterpart is. Because you're both evil! Evil sticks together!" He kicked Sakura's ankle causing her to yelp in pain.

"Stupid kid! I'm going to teach that boy a lesson for not coming home on time!" He growled and stared down at Sakura, his upper lip curling into a scar. "What are you doing just sitting there? Go do your homework!"

Sakura got up quickly, grabbing her bag. As she passed Yukio, he smacked her butt and gave it a little squeeze, causing Sakura to pause and squeal a bit. He smiled a bit and walked off to his room as Sakura scurried into hers.

* * *

_Hmm..._thought Syaoran as he drove home. _I wonder what Sakura was so worried about? That detention was so boring it was sad. She didn't even make sense after a while._

He looked at his watch. 5:00. _Damn, I'm an hour late. I wonder what Sakura meant by a punishment that I don't know yet? Meh, it was probably nothing that I'm not used to yet._

He parked his car in front of the house, too lazy to drive it into the garage._I wonder what food we have today?_ He walked into the house and shut the door quietly. It was so quiet, he swore he could have heard a pin drop. not that he had any pins to drop or the urge to drop any. He strode into the living room where he saw the silhouette of Yukio.

"Hello Uncle Yukio," he said cheerfully. "How are you today?"

Yukio's silhouette grew as he rose out of his chair and turned to face him. "I am angered."

Syaoran shifted uncomfortably. _What does he mean? _He wondered how one was supposed to answer something like that.

_"I am angered." _

_Good for you Uncle! _

No... that didn't seem like a good idea.

"Do you wish to know _why_ I am angered Syaoran?"

_Do I have a choice?_

"I am angered Syaoran," Yukio said as he took careful steps towards Syaoran, "because someone decided to come home late. On my special day. A day that I was very happy. Do you know who that person was?"

Syaoran blinked. "Was it me?"

Yukio's hand connected with Syaoran's face, leaving a pink handprint. Syaoran kept silent, trying to hold in his tears. The men who used to beat him always yelled at him when he cried.

Again his face was slapped, on the other side this time. He cringed, fighting back tears.

"Why… are… you… so… evil?" Each word was marked by another slap. "Why must you be so dirty? What is wrong with you? Why are you a bastard?" Yukio began to take his frustration out on Syaoran's body, punching him and kicking him wherever he could.

Yukio's body dwarfed Syaoran's so he was unable to fight back. He began to cry freely now, tears rolling down his face.

"Why are you crying?" Syaoran's tears only fuelled Yukio's fury. "Why are you crying?" he yelled. "Only dirty, sick children cry! Like you!" He punctuated the "you!" with a kick to his ribs. "Dirty little bastard child! You're fucked! You know what you are? You're fucked! Nobody_wants _you! Your mother**made** me take you!"

Syaoran's painescalated. This was too much. Too much emotionally, too much physically, too much mentally, too much everything. He blacked out and entereda blissful land of darkness which he had become good friends with over the years.

* * *

_What thehell is that noise?_

Sakura opened her eyes. She rolled over and looked at her clock; it was 5:04 pm. What was making that noise?

She got up and pattered quietly to the door. She pressed her ear to the door and listened attentively. She could make out a faint murmur of sound. She opened the door a crack and listened even harder. She could hear the noise now. It was Step-Papa… but what on earth was he yelling for? She strained to listen and heard a few strands of noise.

"You're a menace to society!" The words were punctuated by large thumping noises.

Sakura's eyes widened.

_Syaoran!_

She ran out the door and to the living room and gasped at what she saw. Syaoran was lying on the ground and Yukio was kicking him over and over again, occasionally leaning over to punch his poor, battered body.

Without thinking, Sakura rushed to Yukio, and latched onto his arm.

"Step-Papa! Stop! You're hurting him!" she cried.

Yukio growled and flung Sakura over to a far wall. She landed with a painful_thunk_. Yukio advanced towards her, scowling.

"Think you can tell me what to do?" He snarled at her, "Think you can keep me from hitting him?" He kicked Syaoran's limp body and smiled when he saw Sakura cringe. "Don't like that, huh?" He kicked Syaoran again and smiled even larger as he watched Sakura recoil at the sound of his boot hitting Syaoran's flesh.

He raised his leg, about to strike his body once more, but stopped when he saw Sakura get up and throw herself across Syaoran's body, weeping.

"Please, please Step-Papa! Please don't hurt him anymore, he's already unconscious! Please! You don't want to explain this to a hospital do you? Please, Step-Papa, leave him alone!" She stared up at Yukio, trying to blink back her tears as they trailed down her face.

Yukio frowned and then put his leg back down to his side. "I would not want to show him to a hospital." He paused,thinking deeply."They ask too many questions there and do not understand that you children are evil." He snorted."Fine, I won't hurt him anymore."

He tousled Sakura's hair roughly. "I bet you did this on purpose, Sakura. Made him get detention and intentionally did not tell him what happened when you get detention. My, my, what an evil child you are. For your deed of keeping him from the hospital, I shall not punish you tonight."

"Thank you Step-Papa!" whispered Sakura, her voice hoarsefrom her tears. "Thank you!"

Yukio walked out of the living room to his bedroom/office, leaving Sakura alone with Syaoran's lifeless body.

Sakura stared at Syao's body, her eyes tearing again. It was all her fault.Her step-father was right. She hadn't told Syaoran what happened if he got a detention. She hadn't warned him. It was all her fault. Again.

She began to cry harder, her tears soaking her cheeks and falling onto Syaoran's face. She wept while saying the same phrase, over and over, "My fault, Syao, all my fault…. My fault."

* * *

Syaoran moaned, wondering where he was. He wonderedif he was near a river; he could feelwater on his face. 

He gasped and sucked in a deep breath as a jolt of pain ripped through his body. Suddenly he remembered it all; the detention, coming home late, Yukio using him as a punching bag. He could feel something dripping on his face, and hear something; it seemed like a whisper.

He opened his eyes and was surprised to see that he was looking up at Sakura. She was saying something and rocking his body back and forth, her tears flowing freely. He strained to hear her, trying to fight the fog that blocked his vision.

"I'm so sorry Syao… all my fault, this is all my fault… didn't tell you about detention…. I'm so sorry Syao, so sorry."

He started to move around.

_Sakura. _

_Itisn't her fault. It's mine. I should have known things would be worse here._

"Sakura?" he called her name, trying to get her to stop her mantra.

"Syao?" She opened her eyes and blinked several times. "Oh Syaoran! I thought you died! It's all my fault and I didn't tell you what would happen if you had a detention and I'm really evil, I didn't tell you, evil, I'm so evil-" She blinked when he brought his hand to her lips.

"You're not evil. This is my fault too." He tried to wriggle a bit in her arms. The pain wasn't that bad. "Can you help me to my room?"

She bit her lip.Sheprobably didn't know how cute that was. He felt tingles go up his spine. "I don't know Syao, your room is farther than mine; you can stay in my room for the night."

He blinked and nodded. "Okay, sounds like a plan."

Slowly, they moved together, lifting Syaoran up and off the floor. He was half-dragged and half-self-propelled to her room. She laid him down on the bed slowly and slid out from under him to shut the door.

She started to open the closet and pull out blankets, which she then threw on the floor. He blinked. "What are you doing?"

She turned around and blushed, "I'm making my bed."

"On the floor? I don't think so."

"Do you expect me to sleep on the bed with you?"

"That's exactly what I expect."

Sakura froze in mid-action. "Hoe, I'm sorry, but I don't think I heard you right."

"I think you heard me just fine Sakura. Come on, turn off the light and come to the bed. I'm cold. I need something to keep up my body warmth." He waited for her reply, wondering if she was going to kick his ass for making such a lame excuse.

She shivered. She was cold too. It would be nice to sleep with someone else near her. Just sleep though.

"Okay… I guess."

Syaoran patted the side of the bed. "Come to me, darling!" he said in a seductive tone.

Sighing, Sakura switched off the light. "Say that again and I'll kick you in the balls."

"…"

"Yeah, that's what I thought you'd say." She poked her alarm clock, turning it on and sat down on the edge of the bed. Taking a deep breath, she lay down on her side, as close to the edge of the mattress as possible.

She heard Syaoran chuckle. "Is something funny?" she hissed at him.

"Yeah. The fact that you think that I'll behave like Uncle."

Sakura froze. "I do not think that!"

"Then why are you on the other side of the bed as far away from me as possible? How am I supposed to get warm?"

He had a point. Sakura flushed in the dark and slowly inched closer and closer to Syaoran, her back to him. She sucked in her breath as he pulled the covers over them and swung his arm around her waist. The other arm was eased under her neck, until he was holding her like a teddy bear. She could feel his light breathing on her neck.

She snuggled closer to him, trying to gain some heat and realized he had been telling the truth; he was freezing. He shivered as she moved against him.

"Good night Sakura."

"Goodnight Syaoran."

Several minutes passed until Sakura heard Syao's voice again. "Sakura?"

"Yes Syaoran?"

"Are you mad at yourself?"

"Why would I be?" _Of course I am you baboon!_ She wondered why he brought it up.

"Because you're very stubborn. And I think that you think that it's your fault of what happened today."

"No I don't. Syao, you're being silly. Now go to sleep." _Because it is my fault._ She wondered how on earth he was reading her mind.

He pulled her slowly until she was lying on her back, staring up into his eyes. She blinked. "If you are… It's not your fault. It's, well, I don't know whose; I just know that it's not ours. I swear."

Sakura stared up into Syaoran's deep chocolate orbs. "Thank you Syaoran," she said before snuggling into his shoulder and falling into a tranquil sleep.

"You're welcome Sakura…."

* * *

WOOT! ANOTHER CHAPPIE DEAD! Oh yeah! I have skills! –dances- TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK! TELL ME! TELL ME! –dances in the rain- 

READ AND REVIEW! READ AND REVIEW! OR I SHALL BITE YOU! BITE YOU:E - - see my teeth?

sigh- its… 12:10 am… mental… I have school tomorrow too… the things I do for you ppl… -sigh-

* * *

The above was edited as much as possible without taking away from the original idea. Oh how do I love thee export? 

As for the A/N's... I will try to keep them as original as possible, no matter how stupid or goofy or immature or incredibly fucked up they make me sound. I must save the remnants of my childhood and my stupidity.

Thanks for reading,

Your mom, or Nish-Nish. Whichever you prefer.


	5. Waking Up

ALLÔ! Here I am yet again… SO MANY REVIEWS! Man, I love you ppl! Okay… well… lets see what I have for you all today…

Well, it seems I have to answer some reviews, put up a disclaimer, and write a chapter… Whoa… that's a lot of work. And well… I've had a LOT of stuff going on… think about a play… think about getting two projects done… think about X-mas shopping… think about staying at school until like, 5-7:00 for no reason other than bonus marks… now think about being really depressed… yeah, that sums up how I've been feeling this month

Oh yeah, I'm not depressed anymore much. Crackerz helped me out; I owe you one Crackerz.

HOLY SHIT! I HAVE 42 REVIEWS! MENTAL! Ok.. I better go answer them…

**Kikakai**: I love you all too!

**Cinnamon-Sweet-Heart:** I thought it was cute too! XD

**Collide:** I like bliss… ALPHA-ORDER ROX! I was bored… very, very bored…

**SaKuRa-Mina:** You always leave such long reviews! I love you! It was so funny! I like Hey Ya! too! Mrs. Spool is EVIL! EVIL EVIL! Don't worry, Seiruu will get his just desserts I think that means he'll be punished.. I think… COMFORT ROCKS!

**tracy-kin:** Tehe… thank you! Do you _want_ Sakura to be dirty?I don't know,I like her as she is… the confused naïve little girl… okay.. I lied, she's the exact opposite. What's next you ask? Well… read on to find out!

**amber-eyez:** I like it too! I'm updating!

**Dragonstar03:** yeah, well, I don't like claiming him either, but he's my creation so… I guess so. I hope they don't die either… that would totally kill my plot line, I mean, how do I make it S&S if they're dead? Can you fall in love in heaven?

**SS43v3r**: Tehe, yeah it took a while for me to make a moment between them, I didn't want to make it seem rushed.

**Cherry Jade:** I'm supposing this isn't a soon enuff update… but, hey, at least I updated

**Ms. CherryStrawberry**: I will be sure to place: "his hair looked messy, and the color was of a dirty chocolate, his chocolate bangs covering his deep Amber orbs in a sexy yet boyish way." In my story… somehow… ; maybe when they wake up? I loved ur review, so LONG! Made me SO happy!

**tracy-kin:** I know, I think he's EVIL! And he should die! DIE! Bastard man! And, -cough I think Syaoran likes her too but I'm not going to say anything else to you 'cause it might spoil the ending and all that stuff and damn it takes me a long time to cough cough-

**Emily:** I'm updating… NOW:

**Sakura Sayoran:** I loveeeeeeeeeee brain convos! They're FUNNY! Kill Seiruu? Hmm… ill think about it… I love her fashion too! ACK! I made you CRY? Damn, I must write good… -head swells über much- If I rock, you rock too!

**apples in the pine:** thankz!If I get anymore compliments, I won't be able to walk through doors! My head is HUGE, I tell you…** HUGE**!

**Jill**: Stop writing? AH! The horror! Why would I do that? THE UTTER HORROR OF IT ALL!

**angel of light and darkness:** I sent youu an email!

* * *

**Find Hope**

"…" Speech

_'…'_ Thoughts

_Disclaimer: I own nothing but my worldly possessions and that, unfortunately does not include CCS. I do own this twisted plot and Yukio's sick, perverted, pedophilic ass. He may be evil, but he's MY evl!l _

* * *

**Find Hope**

**Chapter Five…**

* * *

The early morning light shone dimly down through a window onto two figures snuggling in a bed. Their limbs were intertwined, their faces so close that they almost seemed to be kissing. 

One of Syaoran's arms was cradling Sakura's neck, his other wrapped around her waist, pulling her closer to him. He was basking in the warmth of her body. He had never felt anything quite like it.

Sakura's arms were draped around Syaoran's neck, her hands snaking through his hair. Her arms were crooked at the elbows and her shirt had fallen a bit at the shoulders, revealing her pale, milky, skin to the world.

_Warm... sleep... _Incoherent thought which one thinks when awaking were drifting through Syaoran's mind. _Mmm... smell... honey..._

He pulled the warm, lumpy, stick-thing in his arms closer to himself, hugging it like one would hug a teddy bear. It was soft, like velvet, and smooth… andit smelled good.He took at deep breath and snuggled closer to the warm "lump" in his arms.

_Mm… lump…_

His eyes opened.Hey... that wasn't a lump. Heyawned, thinking. That was Sakura, wasn't it? He opened his eyes.

Oh Kami.

That _was _Sakura!

He almost yanked his arms away from her, afraid of what had happened between them. His memory wasblank…. He coudn't remember what happened last night…

_But, she's holding onto my hair… so…_

He nuzzled her, determined to make the most of the situation. He (being half-asleep) fell back asleep while nibbling on her ear.

Sleepy thoughts were just beginning to driftthrough the helplessly foggy mind of Sakura as she woke up. She swirled her hands in the soft fluffy goodness she found in her hands..

She opened her eyes and tried to focus… all she could see was satiny brown... stuff. She shut her eyes and opened them again. Her vision was more focused but not enough for her to figure out what was in front of her. She blinked a couple more times and opened her eyes yet again.

_Mm... what's brown…Soft…Fluffy… mm…Smells nice…HOE!_

Her eyes widened. In front of here was Syaoran. His hair looked messy, and was the color of dirty chocolate. His chocolate bangs were covering his deep amber orbs (as were his eyelids) in a sexy yet boyish way. _Comfy... _she thought asshe snuggled closer to him, pressing herself to him as she felt him nibbling at her ear.

_Meep, ear, must keep ear from getting eaten!_ She pulled her head away, or at least tried to. When she started to move her head away, Syaoran's mouth followed her ear.

"Hoe," she mumbled aloud. She began to shift out from under him, pulling her arms regretfully away from his hair. She fiddled with his hands for a bit, until she loosened them enough to move them over her head. When she managed that, she started to flip over, trying to move onto her right side, while Syao's mouth was still sucking away at her earlobe.

Syao began to wake again at the movement of his lump. He forgot what he had already discovered about his "lump." _Why is… lump moving? Mm… lump… taste… good…_ He continued to nibble away at the lump. He shifted a bit as the lump moved about some more, making him move his arms around.

The lump was moving out of his mouth and away from him. It wasn't fair.He opened his eyes and blinked…_That's not a lump, it's Sakura… Hey… didn't I say that before?_

He let go of her ear and started to move with Sakura, quickly shifting his weight from one armto the other whichwas on the other side of Sakura. He smiled as she opened her eyes.

Suddenly, he was overcome with vast amounts of pain. His eyes widened and he gasped deeply and collapsed onto her, shaking with pain. His whole body felt as though it was on fire; his back was an inferno.

He got up onto his elbows, taking deep gulps of air and looked into Sakura's wide-open eyes which were portraying deep concern.

He willed himself to smile and managed a small grin. _Damn! Why do I hurt so much? I feel like a truck ran me over!_

He ran through his mind, trying to remember what it had been that had happened.

_Oh no… Yukio… god… no wonder I hurt… I better not tell Sakura, she shouldn't know about that._

His whole body was tingling and lots of his skin was bruised. A good deal of his body seemed to be trying to crawl off and/or out of him.

"Sorry 'bout that," he wheezed to her, trying to de-escalate the situation, "I don't know what got into me. Must have been a muscle spasm or something." He smiled again, weakly and tried to roll over, but was again frozen with pain. This time it really hurt. It was almost as if every square inch of him was being poked with long, dull needles. Falling to his side, he blacked out.

Sakurastared at him in shock. She got up and quickly grabbed her first aid kit from under the bed, after of course, checking Syao's breathing and his pulse.

She pulled him around the bed until he was lying flat on his back and started to administer first aid to him. She slowly pulled off his shirt and grimaced. His beautiful body, (yes, his chocolaty good body) was covered in a rainbow of bright yellow, green, blue, black, and purple bruises. A few bright red scratch marks were scattered all over him as well.

_Stupid Step-Papa, he should cut his nails._ Sakura began to work very cautiously, slowly rubbing at Syao's bruises with a specially medicated cream. _This usually helps my bruises heal faster,_ she thought as she carefully massaged the salve into his skin. She patted the scratch marks with rubbing alcohol before carefully bandaging them.

She carefully turned Syaoran over and started to fix up his back. It was bruised much more badly than his chest as Step-Papa had kicked him several times. She trembled as she cleansed his last wound and shuddered when she bandaged it.

_All my fault… this is all my fault._

/It's always your fault./

Hot tears trickled down her face. She laid her head down on Syaoran's back and wept quietly until she found the solace of a dreamless sleep yet again.

* * *

It was raining… or rather water was trickling down his back. And the birds were chirping. 

_I must be outside, _thought Syaoran sleepily. _Under a waterfall._

He snuggled deeper into the soft, mossy ground and felt something shift above him. He shifted a bit and winced.

He realized that he hurt.

All over.

Really bad.

_What… happened?_ he thought groggily. He had a strange feeling that he had thought that same thought a while ago.

He opened his eyes and realized that he was not outside as he had thought, but inside a room. But then, what was that trickle of water? He turned over slowly, becoming one with the pain.

_I didn't know my body was able to hurt so much in so many different places._

As he turned, the 'thing' on top of him stayed on him, so when he was on his back, the 'thing' was on his stomach. It had soft fur, the color of honey, which smelled nice…. He inhaled deeply, feeling the air rush through his mouth and down his throat.

_Ah… air, blessed air. I love you air._

He patted the furry 'lump' and the silky fur ran wonderfully through his hands, pooling on his chest. He wondered what kind of an animal it was. It must have been domestic, right? He listened to the odd chirping noise, wondering what it was. He blinked several times trying to figure out what on earth it could be. He got his answer when he turned his head to the night table.

The noise wasn't birds, it was an alarm clock. How odd. He decided to turn it off, as it was getting to be very annoying. _Oh, I better get this weird animal off of me first though,_ he thought. He lifted the animal's slowly and gasped.

"You are_ so_ not an animal."

Sakura's eyes blinked open.

Did she just hear what she thought she had heard? She got up and stretched, pulling her arms above her and leaning against a very firm pillow. Firm pillow? But she didn't won any firm pillows. She didn't even like firm pillows. She looked down at her 'firm pillow' and her eyes widened.

"Syaoran, you're awake!" she gasped and stopped leaning on him. "Are you okay? Do you hurt? Are you in pain? Can you understand me? Can I do anything for you?"

Syaoran looked at her blankly. "Uh… three things… please."

"Okay, what are they?" She looked at him eagerly, wanting to compensate for her stupidity.

"Well, uh, where's my shirt?"

"Oh…" Sakura blushed. "Sorry, I had to take it off so I could umm, tend to your wounds..."

"I see. Okay, well… second thing, what happened yesterday? My mind's a little foggy."

"Yesterday? Oh yeah. Well, you see." Sakura felt a little flustered. "Okay, well, yesterday, you got a detention, and detentions, well, Step-Papa doesn't like them very much." She refused to meet his eyes as she spoke, focusing instead on her hands.

"And, well, when you came home, he started to hit you."

Her voice began to drop, lower and lower, until itbecame awhisper.

"He was kicking you with his boots and punching you when I came out of my room. I tried to stop him, but he just threw me against a wall. I think you blacked out then. He started to kick you again, and he kicked you about two more times before I couldn't take it anymore. I threw myself in front of your body and tried to stop Step-Papa with any excuse I could find. I told him that it wouldn't be good for you to go to the hospital as hospitals ask a lot of questions. Step-Papa stopped when I said that. You kind of woke up then, and I got you over here with your help. And this morning I bandaged your wounds and… I… it was all my fault…."

Syaoran got up from his position on the bed and leaned against the headboard, his arms outstretched to her. She practically fell into his arms as she began to cry. She wept for a long time, and Syaoran merely rocked her, whispering soft words into her ears. She didn't care what he was saying, but he was there, he was comforting her, she had _comfort_. Something she had been deprived of for so long. She held onto him as though she would never let go, weeping, her hot tears burning trails down his freshly bruised skin. She sobbed of the horrors she had seen, the fear she had felt, the absolute terror she lived in.

She wept for them both.

When her tears finally subsided, Syaoran still rocked her. Back and forth, back and forth. He stroked her hair gently, smoothing about her head. After awhile, when all was calm and the only noise to be heard was the soft beeping noise of the alarm clock, Syaoran started to speak.

"Sakura?" he asked.

"Yes Syaoran?" She mumbled, her noise slightly stuffed.

"Are you okay now?"

"Yeah, I'm okay…. Um… thanks," she mumbled into his shoulder.

"No problem."

A few minutes went by with them rocking in each others laps. Soon Syaoran opened his mouth again.

"Sakura?"

"Yes Syao?"

"Can you do me one last thing, the third thing I need you to do?"

"Of course, Syao," she murmured from his shoulder, "What is it?"

He stiffened, "Can you _please_ turn off that alarm clock? It's kind of annoying."

"Alarm clock? Oh... alarm clock." Sakura blushed at her stupidity. "Right, I'll get that for you."

She reluctantly let go of Syao and rolled over to the alarm clock where the numbers were flashing violently. Her eyes bulged.

She screamed.

"What? What's wrong?" hissed Syaoran from the bed.

"It's seven forty-five!We're going to be _late_!"

"Oh who cares, I mean, it's just school, not like Uncle Yukio's going to hit us for not going to school because…." He stopped mid-sentence as he saw Sakura's head shake.

He rushed out the door and into the bathroom, groaning and hissing at the pain.

"Don't get your band-aids wet!" yelled Sakura after him. "I don't want to have to see your ugly chimpanzee-chest again!"

"Chimpanzee chest?" yelled Syaoran from the bathroom, "My chest is perfectly smooth, thank you very much."

"Uh huh, sure. I've seen it, it's a _chimpanzee chest!_ Now be careful! Or I'll have to touch you all over again." Sakura started to dress herself quickly.

/That didn't sound good now did it/

_AH! I didn't mean it** that** way!_

/Uh huh, sure you didn't. That's what they all say./

_Argh, shut up will you? Who asked your opinion anyway?_

/I bet you want him to get the band-aids wet so you can touch him again/

_So what if I do?_ At least she accepted it instead of denying it.

/That's what sick, dirty, evil, pervert-/

_Shut up!_

Sakura grabbed her headphones as she finished dressing and thrust them over her ears, desperate to block out her own mind.

As she put her headphones on, she brushed her ear with a finger and was shocked to see it come away slightly wet, and horrifically slimey. Oh lord, what was this goo? She rushed to the bathroom, eager to get rid of it.

* * *

WOOT! Another chapter DONE! AMAGAD! THAT TOOK FOREVER! Like.. its… 12:55 am rite now… GROAR… SQUARE DANCING! I GET TO DANCE WITH MY CRUSH! 

Yukio: Why am I evil?

Nishasha: Uh... what are you doing here?

Yukio: I don't know. Because I needed to ask you a question?

Nishasha: Oh, well, it's because, I said so.

Yukio: Can I be evil with you? -waggles eyebrows at Nishasha-

Nishasha: Uh… was that a pick-up line?

Yukio: Yeah…

Nishasha: I think you need to brush up on your flirting …

Yukio: Makes sense why I had to rape them, huh? Not like I have the best flirtation skills…

Sakura: You raped me, 'cause your flirtation skills sucked…?

Yukio: Yeah…

Nishasha: See, this is why _I'm_ the writer, and _you're_ the sick pervert.

Sakura: Exactly! I mean, what about whores? Could you not find any?

Yukio: Hey, you were _right_ there and you didn't cost a THING! I was being thrifty!

Sakura/Nishasha: ...

Syaoran runs into the room-

Syaoran: -locks him up in a box- DIRTY PERVERT! Who's the GAKI NOW? HUH?

Nishasha: He called you a gaki?

Syaoran: Among other things…. -catches sight of Sakura- Did he **hurt **you again?

Sakura: No Syao, you**saved** me!

Syaoran: I'll**always** save you! -carries her bridal style into a bedroom and shuts door-

Nishasha: Hey! What about me?

Yukio: If you let me out of this box… and into _your _box… I can show you a _VERY_ good time,

Nishasha:... Ew. -Kicks box- You seriously do need better pick up lines…

Anywho… DANCE FOR ME! OR I'LL BITE YOU! O.o wait… I don't want you to DANCE… I want you to review! REVIEW THIS! OR I SHALL BITE YOU! WITH MY SHINY BRACES ENLACED TEETHS!

* * *

The above was edited as much as possible without taking away from the original idea. Oh, how do I love thee export? 

As for the A/N's... I will try to keep them as original as possible, no matter how stupid or goofy or immature or incredibly fucked up they make me sound. I must save the remnants of my childhood and my stupidity.

Thanks for reading,

Your mom, or Nish-Nish. Whichever you prefer.


	6. Rushed Morning

ALOHA! Mes petits-fils!! I am ALIVE! OH YEAH! And yes, I just called you all my grandchildren! WHY? I'm not quite sure! I'm quite hyper right now and for NOOOOOOOOOOOOooo reason! ^_^ But, thatz a good thing, 'cause if I wasn't, I wouldn't be writing this! Ok… now for the mental reviews… ^_^ 

Oh… but just one thing… WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP TAKING MY BOX OF SEIRUU??? Oh and something even more important… Seiruu's name must be changed… thatz rite… I have to change his name… SHUT UP! Stop whining! So… Anyways.. What shall I make his name be? TELL ME EVIL JAPANESE NAMES AND I WILL SOMEHOW INVOLVE YOU IN MY STORY! Make sure you leave a name for me to use for you and a name that can be used for Seiruu's name ^_^ and the winner will be announced in the next chapter ^_^

**Dragonstar03**: only interesting??? *weepage* you broke my heart ;_; not ^_^

**Bloodlust Night:** im glad u love it ^^; I love it too! *dances* uh.. Tomoyo… rite… about her… *shrugs* she'll come in here soon I think ^_^

**Cherry Jade:** I won't eat you, you're a good human ^_^ yeah, im guessing it wouldn't be that great if one of the main characters was eaten, that would totally kill my plot line ^_^

**amber-eyez**: I MADE UR DAY??? *feels special* im glad I could touch sumone that way ^__________________^ 

**sarah:** thanks… and I am updating… NOW! ^_^

**Ms. CherryStrawberry:** seems like everyone likes Syao… I don't really like him… DON'T TELL HIM!…. he mite start acting weird… ^_^ Of course I wont stop… ill just… go on breaks… every once in a while… and not write… for a long time… ;_; and btw, perfection? Nuh uh, itz so icky, the grammar and spelling = gross but thanks for saying that ^_^

**Kikakai:** ok… Sakura: feels EVIL… she's been kinda brainwashed into thinking that she's evil, you know the saying, you can only be told the world would be better off without you before you go and do the world a favour? Well… uh.. I forgot what I was going to say, but what I think I meant was that Seiruu is evil and he kinda brainwashed her into thinking that she's evil and wrong when HE's evil and wrong.. but Sakura doesn't know that… ^_^ and about the police thing… Seiruu = big guy on campus… or rather, in the city and if she said bad things about him, he'd make up weird things about her and they're more liable to listen to a mature adult then a wacked out teen in rebellious clothing rite? ^_^ so there is my reasoning 

**Wallpaper:** I think ur story rox too *is addicted* HEY! ALL YOU PPL! YEAH YOU! READ WALLPAPER'S STORIES! ^_^ newho.. uh.. yeah ^_^

**Cinnamon-Sweet-Heart:** Hey, hey, hey, keep your hands off my box *realizes how wrong that sounded* Uh… keep ur hands off my Seiruu! Ok… I have grown to like Seiruu… SHUT UP! Hear me out ppl… Okay… I know where he's coming from… I figured it out in my head… but… you ppl will not know about that cuz that just kills ur evil hate for him, which is bad… I mean… yeah… ^_^ mush??? MUSH??? ILL GIVE YOU MUSH! Actually.. im not sure… I think its just anger here… but I haven't written nething yet, so what do I noe? ^_^ *grabs Seiruu's box* HE'S MINE!

**Collide**: funny is good, good is funni ^_^ S&S were close… but… I don't like rushing things… I have learned after many late nights spent reading fanfix that rushing characters isn't that great, it de-realisticalizes the whole thing… but ill see if I can speed it up ^_^

**tracy-kin: **U DANCED! OMG… I LOVE YOU! *smothers you in huggles* I noe… I don't really like the cutesy stuff… where is the TORTURE??? THE RAPE?? THE EVIL MALEVOLENT LAUGHTER??? Uh… forget the rape part.. but other things, YEAH! And.. yeah.. well… about stopping at the morning part… my mom came in… so shut up ^_^ oh ho ho ho ho ho… if my parents knew what I wrote… god… I wouldn't be here right now, I'd be on sum wheat farm in India or something -_-; not very fun

**meme:** I think thatz what everyone wants me to change -_-; *types really fast*

**Baby-Prue:** way to kul? *can't tell if it's a diss or a compliment…* euh… thanks? Or no thanks? Iuno ^^; eh he he heh… but hey, I love chapter five too ^_^ 

**cherrysakura5** : im glad u like it ^_^ 

**Coolcalico_girl2491**: really? None? Well, I've read a few, and they were really good, so I gave them hugs ^_^

Ps. I hate braces . bastard snobs, making my teeth hurt!

**Blood-Blossom-Mistress: **YAY! Im glad so many ppl like it ^_^

**Jossy: **thanks for the luck *holds onto it tight* *stuffs it into a bottle* MWAHAHHAHA! I HAVE… DUN DUN DUN… LUCK IN A BOTTLE! *treasures it forever*

**Evil Emzo-chan:** ur dance was stupendous my dear ^_^ yeah, I agree, shooting is too good for him… TORTURE! ^______^ oh ho ho ho ho ho.. thnx for the translation ^_^ 

**Sakura Sayoran:** no.. do not take the box… it is mine! * watches you take box, put in the back of a crappy car trunk and put it in drive so it drives off a bridge* NO! MY EVIL CHARACTER??/ WHAT WILL I DO WITHOUT YOU??? SEIRUU! COME BACK MY NON-LOVE!

*feels tap on shoulder* GO AWAY! IM MOURNING THE LOSS OF MY UNBELOVED SEIRUU!

Seiruu: *munches on an apple* Really? Cool.

*blinks* Euh… how'd you get out here?

Seiruu: Iuno

Euh… ok ^_^ at least ur not dead yet… I still have to torture u! ^_^ oh and no… they cannot kill Seiruu yet.

Seiruu: Who are you talking to?

SHUT UP! *pokes Seiruu with a pointy stick*

**seiko123:** glad you think itz good! ^_^

**PeachBerry:** woot! Another story lover! Euh.. apes have bare chests??? :O damn… well… ok… change ape chest to uh… hairy chest ^_^ yeah…. How did I come up with Seiruu [whose name is soon to be changed]? Well… you see, that is a good question… you see… I have no clue how I came up with him… he came to me in my dreams ^_^ actually… my friend gave me the name… I know it means dragon… ^^ I'm a dragon too... on the Zodiac thingy… I think… yup, that I am ^_^ or a rabbit… but I like dragon better so.. IM A DRAGON AND THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT… if you have any names that I can use instead of Seiruu… I will… GIVE YOU A PRIZE! ^_^

**Allin**: Whoa… ish you… ^_^ write more?? I am :P so be quiet and read on! ^^ and im glad you think it's cool.

**WezL:** here's another chapter. I'm glad you think my story's nice. Nice, how I hate that word ^_^ Oh ho ho ho hoho ho… ill shut up now… ^_^

Anywho… thatz enough out of my mouth, into the story I go! *flies around the room* WHEE! UP, UP, AND AWAY WE READ!

"…" Speech 

'…' Thoughts

[…HELP ME FIND A NAME FOR SEIRUU AND WIN A PRIZE!!] A/N's

Disclaimer: I own nothing on this earth except for the small box that Seiruu [whose name is soon to be changed] is contained in… please stop stealing it… He has a lot of good plot ideas ^_^ He's my pervert of a muse ^_^ [has anyone read Remember Me 2 by Christopher Pike? If you have, then you know what I mean about muse… like that evil little gremlin man… I forget his name… but gross… ^_^]

Anyway… read on… if you dare… ^_^ I always wanted to say that!

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Find Hope

Chapter Six… 

***~*~***~*~***~*~***~*~***~*~***~*~***

After she washed her ear off, Sakura popped two slices of whole wheat bread into the toaster. In an effort to speed things up, she put the toaster on the highest setting possible, BLACK OBLIVION, and waited about thirty seconds before taking out the slightly burnt toast.  Stuffing one in her mouth and chewing fiercely, she careened about the kitchen, slamming into cupboard doors as she grabbed her bag and hopped around on one foot, trying vainly to get her hair into a ponytail.

'Blargh!' she thought, as she bounced up and down, 'why,' *bounce* 'can't,' *bounce* 'I,' *bounce* 'get my,' *bounce bounce* 'hair into,' *bounce, bounce, bounce* 'a ponytail?' Finally, she managed to pull back her hair into something that seemed like a ponytail. 

'Crap,' she thought, still bouncing around, 'Where is Syao? We're going to be LATE! HOE!' She span around in circles, thinking of what to do, as she chewed away on her lump of toast. 'I know!'

"DAMN IT SYAORAN!" she screamed, turning around, "If YOU'RE NOT HERE IN TEN SECONDS, I'LL DRIVE YOUR CAR AWAY AND-" she stopped as a disgruntled Syaoran lurched in through the door, leaning against the doorway to brace himself. He stumbled in a bit, dragging his backpack and wheezing a bit. 'Whoa… that was faster than I thought, he must really like his car.' She noticed his car keys swinging in his weak grasp.

"Euh… are you okay Syao?" She gave him a funny look and winced while she heard his pathetic attempts for breathing.

***~*~***~*~***~*~*[Syaoran's POV]*~*~***~*~***~*~***

"Fine… I'm just fine, Sakura."  He stood away from the doorway and tried to stand up by himself. 'Kami, Uncle really knows how to throw a punch.' He swung his head low as memories of his beating flew through his head. His entire body ached, fingers and toes included; somehow his Uncle had managed to step on each and every one of them. The aches were uncountable, the bruises innumerable and his scars were itchy. 

'God... how could Sakura put up with this?' He shut his eyes, trying to block out the pain. 'I wish I had some of her cream with me…. It made me feel so much better.'

/HUH? CREAM? You know that's not what you want… you want Sakura's hands on you ;)/

'I do NOT want Sakura's hands on me! What are you talking about?? You're insane!' He shivered at the thought of Sakura's petite hands on his back. 'Sakura… hands… on me… Sakura's… body… parts… in… on… AH!' His eyes fluttered open in shock when he realized what he was thinking. 'God, I'm no better than Uncle!'

/Jealous… you're jealous of Uncle 'cause he gets to spend "quality" time with Sakura and you don't!/

'KAMI! I don't' want Sakura! Why don't you understand? She's half crazy! I can't tell what she's thinking half the time! And I'm more like her older brother! 'Cause... uh...she's still feeling guilty and that it's her fault that I got hurt. I should have known better…. I don't like Sakura…. I do not like Sakura.'

/Look kid, who are you trying to convince? Me, or you?/

'Man, what are you talking about??? I don't need to convince myself about the truth! I know that Sakura doesn't like me, and I don't like her… STOP PLAYING GAMES WITH MY MIND! O.o wait a sec… aren't you my mind? GAH! This is all so confusing….' He scratched at his head and immediately wished he hadn't; that simple act had triggered a bout of aches that he hadn't even known were there.

/Never mind what I'm talking about! Look at you! You're trying to convince yourself that you don't like Sakura. It's so obvious that you are. And it's even more obvious that you like her!/

'Okay, so I -' Whatever else Syaoran was going to say was cut off when he saw Sakura begin to advance towards him. In fact, she was running… across the kitchen… in his direction… with one arm raised behind her and her off-center ponytail flapping up and down with her steps. He looked into her eyes and his eyes widened when he caught sight of an odd glint in them… .'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! SHE HAS MURDER IN HER EYES! WHAT DO I DO???'

/PATHETIC! You're PATHETIC! You can't even defend yourself against a puny girl… Say that she's the Queen of your heart and I'll tell you what to do! ^_^/

'QUEEN OF MY HEART! QUEEN OF MY HEART IS SAKURA! WHAT THE BLOODY HELL DO I DO???' Syaoran pushed himself against the wall, as far away from Sakura as possible. His body screamed back at him, groaning in protest; his joints weren't ready to be thrown around so quickly in the morning.

/Right, now it's really quite simple. Just scream. Scream like you've never screamed before. NNNNNnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnoooooooooooooow!/

'SCREAM? YOU IDIOT! I COULD HAVE THOUGHT OF THAT MYSELF!'

/That's right, you could have, but you didn't know did you? And besides, I finally got you to admit that Sakura was the queen of your heart/ His uh… "mind" sighed. /It's so cute!/

Unfortunately for Syao, his "mind" was an intangible object and so, it was impossible for him to strangle it to death as he wanted to. Another unfortunate thing for Syaoran would be that as he was yelling at his "mind", Sakura was coming closer and closer, and even though his conversation lasted only a few seconds, it was enough to let Sakura get close to him. 

Violently, okay, un-violently since she knew of his injuries, Sakura pinned Syaoran to the wall. His eyes bulged as he tried to focus on what was in her hand. 'Was it a gun? A cleaver? A spatula???' God, how he hated that spatula…. Before his eyes could focus, something hard, dry and crunchy was shoved into his mouth. 

"When you're done," she began, as she pulled his backpack onto his shoulder, "we'll leave." She looked up at the kitchen clock. "FIVE MINUTES LEFT! Never mind what I just said, CHEW! We're leaving NOW!"  She grabbed his hand and dragged him out of the house, ignoring his groans and bumbled steps as he fumbled with his bag.

"Xiao-Lang is injured…" he murmured through his toast as she pulled him out towards his car. 'AHAHHAHA! No woman can resist my baby talk!' "Xiao-Lang doesn't want to drive!"  He leaned against the car door and crossed his arms, his features arranged in a cute pout.

"Yeah, well, I'm not injured, so I get to drive!"  giggled Sakura. Syaoran's eyes flew open in shock. 'She didn't fall for my baby talk???' He stood stock-still, his eyes wide. He didn't even notice when Sakura expertly filched his keys from his hand and opened the passenger door. He didn't protest when she pushed him into the car and buckled him up. 'It didn't… work….'She slammed the door shut and ran around the outside of the car to the driver's seat and buckled herself up. She had the car in gear and halfway down the street in two seconds flat. 

*ZOOM*

'AH! SHE HAS TO BE SPEEDING!' And sure enough, when he leaned over to check the speed gauge, she was up to seventy miles an hour. O.o 'Uh… my car… add…  seventy miles… add scary girl who I don't think has a license… O_O KAMI! SHE'S GOING TO CRASH MY CAR! Okay… must stay calm…. Let's make her give the controls to me.'

"BABY!" his voice came out incredibly high. He tried again. "Baby, don't you think you're going a wee bit too fast? How about you slow down and pull over? Then I can drive. Since, it's MY car."

"Can't," was her short reply.

"Did I hear you right? What do you mean you CAN'T??? THIS IS MY CAR!" Syao's voice grew loud and strong. "WHY CAN'T YOU PULL OVER??? I WANT TO DRIVE MY CAR!"

"Everyone wants to drive your car. Lets see why you can't drive it right now. Well, we're two minutes away from being late. Secondly, If we stop now, we'll lose even more time, 'cause you're in terrible pain and you can barely move. And thirdly, what happened to Xiao-Lang being injured?" She looked at him with huge puppy dog eyes and a pout. 

"FINE. I WON'T drive."  He looked away from her and glared out of the window, his arms crossed again. 'She can't resist my, "I'm MAD at you" pose. ^_^ Oh Yeah, I haven't found a woman who hasn't yet! ^_^' 

'Good… She's slowing down,' he thought a few seconds later as the car began to slow, 'It works! My "I'm MAD at you" pose works!' She parked neatly at the side of the road and turned off the car. He was about to jump up and down in his seat in happiness, and then thought better of it. His ass was kind of sore.  'Now, I get to DRIVE! ^_________^'

"HURRY!" yelled Sakura as she flew out of the car and opened his door. "We're going to be late!" She grabbed at his arm again.

"I will show you what TRUE driving is like now, Sakura. You can take notes if you want!" He smiled down at her as he straightened up and got out of the car. 

"Just shut up will you? We're going to be LATE!" She grabbed his arm and shut the car door. Then she started to drag him away from the car. She was practically running, she was going so fast.

'KAMI! Why is she going away from the car?? She doesn't expect me to steal one does she??' He felt himself being pulled away, further and further from his beloved car. 'Where is she taking me???'

"LOOK! I thought you wanted me to drive the car the rest of the way to school! This isn't fair!" He pulled back on her arm and wrapped her in a bear hug, his eyes boring into hers. "Where the bloody hell are you taking me??" He released her but continued to stare into the emerald depths of her eyes. The swirling emotions were enchanting….

***~*~***~*~***~*~*[Sakura's POV]*~*~***~*~***~*~*** 

"MONKEY!" yelled Sakura as she slapped him on the top of his head. "We ARE at school! And I'm TRYING to take you to class!" She stared right back at him, her eyes fearlessly matching his. 'Hoe… why is he looking at me funny?' She turned her face and checked for spare crumbs. 'None… odd….' She turned back to Syao and was about to ask him why he was looking at her funny when she saw something glint on his wrist. She looked down and saw that it was a watch. "HOE! WE'RE GOING TO BE LATE!" she grabbed his wrist and away they went. 

Near the entrance, She began to run. They hurtled through the empty hallways, their footsteps echoing loudly. Sakura decided that she didn't like it when the hallways were empty. Empty hallways reminded her of well, she wasn't sure of what, but they were wrong… hallways were to be bright and shiny, full of life. These hallways were devoid of all of that. 

Once their classroom was in sight, Sakura broke into a run and Syaoran shuddered. He staggered, but her hand on his arm kept him up and helped him catch his balance. They flew towards the classroom and stopped right in front of the door. He looked at her oddly and then she pushed him roughly through the door. He stumbled along blindly, the bright lights having shocked his eyeballs. [Oh ho, ho, ho, ho, ho... eyeballs ^_^] The bell rang and Sakura zoomed into the room. She somehow managed to shoot the teacher a nasty look, shove Syaoran out of the way and to the floor, and get into her seat before the bell finished ringing.

'Please, Syaoran, get mad! Get very mad!' Sakura prayed to Kami. "Let my plan work, Let Syaoran understand. He wouldn't like it was an outcast, he's really cute, so he'd be a popular guy. But if anyone found out about him living with me, those dreams would be over, and he'd be singled out like me. And I can't do that to him. It's better for him to be popular and loved without me than to be outcast and unloved with me. but Kami, if you could… could you make Syaoran understand?' She placed her head on her desk and stared out the window to the birds. 'Please?'

***~*~***~*~***~*~*[Syaoran's POV]*~*~***~*~***~*~***

''Queen of my heart… I can't believe I let him make me say that. Gah… running is… so… hard… GAH!' He could feel the evil burn of lactic acid building up in his legs and they made it to the door.

'Right… so we're outside the door… what do we do know?' Before he could voice his question, Syaoran felt a hand at his back and then suddenly he was being shoved through the door. He heard the bell ring and felt himself being pushed to the floor. 

'SHIT! Who the hell was that?' He was on the floor and he could feel the bruises starting to form on his already bruised knees. Slowly, he stretched himself out a bit, checking if anything was broken. 

"Tsk, tsk tsk," came the voice of Mr. Ojakuri, the teacher, "Mr. Li, did you slip? If you will please take your seat and stop disrupting the class? The bell has rung." The fat old man stared down from his place behind the desk. "Or did you drop something? Perhaps a contact?"

"Uh…" Syaoran's mind was blank, was the old man trying to make fun of him or something? "No sir," came a growl from the back of his throat, as he lay on the floor, "I happen to have 20/20 vision." He stood up slowly and seemed to take his time, which made the other students snicker. Apparently, they thought that he was deliberately being slow. The truth was, if he went any faster, he was sure that he would keel over from the pain. 'That's right kiddos, I'm slow because I want to be slow, not because I'm in agonizing pain. Nope, no agonizing pain for me.' He was astonished at his joking manner. "Well, laughing is better than crying.' 

Very slowly, he straightened up in front of Mr. Ojakuri and stared him straight in the eye. He slowly bowed and inwardly screamed as he felt his muscles stretch and tense. 

'Whoa….' He groaned inwardly, marveling at the pain. None of his other beatings had been nearly as bad. And to think that Sakura went through this alone. 'Must not… show... weakness….' He managed a smirk when he finally straightened out of his bow.

"Xiao-Lang Li!"  Mr. Ojakuri was beside himself with anger. That stupid boy was trying to show him up. "Since you vision seems to be better than your hearing, read my lips." He paused dramatically. "Sit… Down!" He  looked at Syaoran with a nasty grimace on his face. 

"Yes sir," purred Syaoran as he tried to figure out how to bring the old man down from his stupid high perch. 

'Zany… everyone in Japan is zany. I swear, the craziest people on earth are found on Japan… You wouldn't have to do this in China…. All of these guys are crazy… loco… mental…  one example being all of the teachers and the other Sakura. Why do they all pick on ME????' He smiled sweetly at the teacher and purred out again, "As you wish." He walked down the aisle and slid into the hard wooden seat next to Sakura. 

"All right class!" barked Mr. Ojakuri. "Now that you are all seated, we're starting a new project! I picked all of your groups last night! This is a very large project and you will have three months to finish it! The groups are made of eight people! Please arrange your desks with your group members! Well? Why aren't you moving people????"

"Because," came out Syaoran's voice in a lazy drawl, "You haven't told us our groups yet!" That remark caused a lot of snickers and Mr. Ojakuri's face went bright tomato red.

"Course I didn't!"  He tried to pass off his stupidity as a test. "I knew that! I was testing you! Mr. Li, you get a bonus mark!" They both smiled as the class cheered. 

*DING* [ß Mr. Ojakuri turning on the overhead ^_^]

"ERHM! That's enough laughing! If you will please break into groups please! And remember, you choose whatever the hell your project will be on!"

"FANTASTIC!"  screeched a voice into Syaoran's ear. "I'm with YOU! I'm Connie!"  Syaoran looked in the direction of the voice and saw a blue eyed, black haired beauty staring back at him. The girl's black hair was shoulder length and very shiny. 

"Gah…" Syaoran didn't know what to say. '"MIND"! WHERE ARE YOU???"

"HELLO PEOPLE! Let's see who's in OUR group!"  Immediately, it was known that Connie was in charge. She started by calling out the people's names that were in their group. "Okay so… all the people in my group have to meet in the library! So that's like, me, you, CASSANDRA, ERIN, DAN, MIKEY, [LOOK! IT'S YOU PINEAPPLE! OMG! It's only your name, not you, but I mite add things that you say… ^_^ Note… if you want yourself out of here, it's ok ^_^ I can change the name, if you don't like it, change it to Max ^^ oh yeah, MAX ^^; oh ho.. I better shut up now…] TOMOYO, and… Sakura…" She said Sakura's name in an undertone, and began to whisper to Syaoran confidentially, "Don't try to talk to Sakura, she just stares back at you. She's so weird, only Mikey and Tomoyo can talk to her without her attacking them with her eyeballs. Its scary… She looks right through you… like you're not even there….

"I saw what she did to you. I guess you were in her way."

"Just what are you talking about?" Syaoran felt a little confused, 'ok, so she's weird, but she uh… seems nice. But what the hell is she talking about? What did Sakura do to me?'

"'Kuh, like she pushed you over! What do you think, that you fell over by yourself? Really, Syaoran, you're too nice."  She smiled up at him. 

"Look… are you saying that SHE pushed me?"  It couldn't be… but… It made sense… But… why?

"Man, is there an echo in here? Of course it was her."

'No way… but… damn it… I'm going to get to the bottom of this.' He swirled in his seat to demand what had happened from Sakura but realized he was looking at an empty seat. 'Gah… where'd she go?' 

"Oh, Syaoran! Come on, we're all going to the library!" Connie grabbed Syaoran's arm just as Sakura had only minutes before. "Let's catch up with the others!"  She skipped around the hallways with Syaoran following her lead.

"Pretty isn't it? I love it when the hallways are empty! It's so quiet and peaceful! Don't you just love it Syaoran?" Connie's perky voice floated into his head, it was impossible to block out. 'Is that a good thing or a bad thing?'

"Quaint... just quaint."  He said, trying to shut her and her high-pitched voice up. "Fantabulous."  He heard her giggle at his words and he sighed. He didn't really like empty hallways… They were scary, and cold and devoid of life. Hallways need life, without it, they're just cold rectangles of concrete. There was no light or any noises coming in from anywhere. There was only the faint hum of the fluorescent bulbs above. 'Gah… it feels so dead.' He shivered involuntarily.

"Relax Syao," giggled Connie as she led him into the library, "welcome to our library!" She led him around the large labyrinth of books and shelves and displays until they reached the very back of the library. There were several large couches and they were full of people. Well, it seemed that way. There were only six people sitting down. 

"Sit down," said one of the boys, "and we can introduce ourselves."  He gave them a brilliant smile as they sat down onto a couch together.  Syaoran looked around and saw that to his right were a girl, and boy, and another girl. The boy sandwiched between the two girls looked rather happy. On the other couch, to his left, [the couches are in a TRIANGLE! WOOT! GO TRIANGLES!] were Sakura, a boy and a girl. Connie was sitting on the corner nearest Sakura's couch. 

"There," said the boy that was sandwiched between Sakura and some other girl. "Now that we're settled, let's introduce ourselves."  His blackish green hair shone in the poor lighting, a mass of spikes. 'You'd think that in a library, the lighting would be better, with all that reading that goes on in here….' The boy was wearing a black t-shirt and artfully ripped blue jeans, that were being held up, if Syaoran's eyes weren't deceiving him, by a chain, the kind that you found in a hardware store, and a combination lock. His eyes somehow managed to match his hair. "I'm Mikey. [Here you are again.. with GREEN HAIR ^_^]

"Um, let's go around this way," said Mikey as he pointed to his left, towards the girl next to him.

"Very well," Said the girl next to him. Syaoran found himself staring into the deep purple eyes of a very nice looking girl. 'Gah…. Why do I keep seeing pretty girls? Japan must be home to lots of pretty girls too, not just crazy people!' Her  waist-length violet hair also matched her eyes. She wore a J-Lo hat and long, dangly earrings.  Her clothes consisted of a purple and green splattered tank top and tight black jeans. [who wears black jeans now? O.o I don't think neone does… but… HEY! She's SPECIALFULL! ^_^] "I'm Tomoyo."

"Well, it's nice to meet you both,"  said Syaoran, unable to think of anything better to say. He felt something grab his arm. Alarmed, he looked down and saw that it was just Connie's arm.

"Xiao-Lang already knows me, don't you, Xiao?"  He took that moment to realize that she was wearing a baby pink tank top and glittery black pants that seemed to change shape whenever he moved his head. 'Gosh, doesn't she get dizzy looking at her pants?' She wore three-inch platform shoes on her feet and small bunny rabbit earrings in her ears. 

"Yes, euh… yeah, I do."  The words stumbled gracelessly from his mouth. His eyes darted to the girl on the couch nearest to him as he yanked his arm away from her grip. He ran it through his hair to make it seem more natural. 

"Zumitza," said the girl next to him.

"Ah… what?" Syaoran asked confused.

"Blargh… -_-; My name, is Zumitza. ZU-MITZ-ZA"

"Cassandra," called out a voice, "stop acting like a child. Tell him your real name or we'll just skip you."

"Damn Mikey, can't you have ANY fun?" asked Cassandra in an annoyed tone. 

"Erhm… let me think. Nope. I'm Fun-less. ^_^"

"Fine. Well, anyways, my name is Cassandra. And, I'm single."

"Gah… So?" 

Her green eyes grew big and suddenly her face puffed up. "Stop making fun of me!" She managed a tear. "WHY DOES EVERYONE MAKE FUN OF ME?" She broke down into horrible sobs.

"I- uh, look, I- I, I'm, sorry, don't cry!" Syaoran was freaking out; he couldn't even talk right.  What was wrong with that girl? He says one word and she freaks out! And starts CRYING! 'What am I going to do?'

/Just look at what the others are doing…. DO what they're doing ^^/

'KAMI! Thanks "mind"! I thought you were gone for good!' He looked out at everyone else and froze… 'Euh…'

Laughing… They were all laughing. Except for Sakura. She was just leaning back on the Mikey guy, her eyes to the ceiling. He realized that the Cassandra girl was laughing too. 

"Mikey?" called out Syaoran, above the laughter, "What's going on?"

"Nothing," came back his wheezy reply as he tried to catch his breath. "Cassan-Cassandra was just trying out her acting skills on you." The group continued to laugh. Sakura continued to stare at the ceiling. Syaoran continued to look bemused. 

"Oh, Syaoran," came the breathy voice of Cassandra, "I'm so sorry, It's just, I've been looking for someone to try my acting on. What do you think?" The rest of the group seemed to have calmed down by then. 

"Pretty good…" said Syaoran, "You had me scared there, I was freaking out."

"Quail are very good flyers!" Everyone turned to look at Erin. "Euh… wrong timing eh?" Everyone kind of sighed collectively and Syaoran realized that that was what was to be done when Erin spoke. 

"REALLY? WHOA! I must be good!"  Syaoran listened to the easy banter as the rest of the crew joked around with her. Cassandra was wearing a light blue blouse over a black tank top and light blue jeans. Around her neck was a slender silver chain on which a tiny cross hung. Her blond hair swung down her waist and her green eyes glittered happily.

Syaoran tuned in when the boy with the blond hair began to speak. His hair was cut in a buzz cut… very short, very formal. He wore dark jeans and a black tee shirt that said BITE ME! on it. His throat was encircled with a spiked collar, not much different from the one that went around Sakura's throat.  His green eyes matched Cassandra's and then Syaoran noticed that they must have been twins, or at least siblings. "I'm Dan," began the boy, "Cassandra's twin." 

"Twins? Cool, I knew twins where I came from."  The words slipped out and Syaoran immediately wished for them back. He didn't want them to ask about why he was there. Or where he lived…. OR who he lived with. He'd have to talk to Sakura first. 

"Unicorns are horse rip offs," called the girl next to Dan. Her brown eyes sparkled and her shoulder-length black hair was being spun around one of her fingers. "I'm Erin by the way, and I think horses are pretty ^_^" She was wearing a fluorescent yellow top and bright red pants. 'Someone dressed in the dark today.' He glanced at her feet and saw mismatched green and purple sneakers, covered in doodles done in black marker. 'Or maybe that's how she always dresses.'

"Varnish is stinky. I don't like Nail Polish 'cause it has varnish in it. I like ice cream though, it tastes good."

"Wha?" Syaoran was confused. 'What is she talking about???'

"Xiao-Lang, I'm sorry, it's just that, varnish really does stick and ice cream tastes REALLY GOOD. I like mint chocolate chip cookie dough, 'cause it squishes all the really cool things together!" blared Erin.

"Yech, Erin, stop talking!" called out Cassandra. "We've had enough of your weird facts for the day!"

"Zebras are white with black stripes ^_^" were Erin's last words before they all fell silent again.

"Ah… Sakura?" Mikey prodded her gently. "Do you want to tell Syaoran your name?"

Before Syaoran could say that he knew her name, a paper plane flew from Sakura's hands to hid forehead. 

"CRAP!" Syaoran stood up too quickly, surprised by the plane. "God, Sakura, did you have to do that???" He sat down uneasily and felt his arm being patted gently by Connie. This time he didn't pull away. 

"Damn." Mikey turned to look at Sakura. She looked at him with an innocent look on her face. "Sakura… you can't keep throwing paper planes at peoples' faces if you don't like them." He sighed and watched her crawl over the side of the couch. "SAKURA… Will you please stay there will you?" Apparently Sakura was still on the other side of the couch because he turned to look at Syaoran.

"Erhm, sorry about that dude. She's not very partial to strangers." They heard a loud snort come out from behind them. "She only talks to teachers, and sometimes to me and Tomoyo, but, not all the time. Sometimes, she won't talk to anyone. It's just the way. Don't let it bug you."

"Fine. I won't. It didn't bug me. Don't worry. Nope, I am not bugged." Syaoran kept babbling away until he realized that everyone was looking at him. "

"Gah…" He looked around. "So, what's our project on?"

"Hey, that's like a great question! Like, what IS our project on?"  asked Connie, looking at Mikey.

"Iuno." He shrugged. "What do you guys want to do it on?"

Just then, Sakura crawled back over the couch. She started to whisper into Mikey's ear and he began to smile. "That's a great idea Sakura! How about you tell them all what it's about?"  They all looked at her… was Sakura actually going to talk?

"Koshi. I want Koshi."  Syaoran seethed on the inside. 'WHAT IS GOING ON??? Who is KOSHI???' Everyone else gasped… Okay, so she had said the name of a comic book character… but she had said SOMETHING… that was amazing!

"Look Sakura, you can't get Koshi until you tell them what your idea is."

"Mmm…." Sakura looked up at Tomoyo for support.

"No way Sakura, tell us your idea and then we'll see about Koshi."

"Oooooooooooo…." Sakura moaned a bit and tried her puppy dog eyes on the two. 'GAH! WHO IS KOSHI!' Syaoran felt like exploding.

"Please Sakura?" asked Tomoyo, "for me?"

'Queer… they act as though they're her keepers. Why on earth can't they leave her alone? Can't they tell that she doesn't want to talk? If I were that Mikey guy, I'd, well, I'd do better than him. I'd actually LISTEN to how Sakura feels and not try to make her do what she doesn't want to.' His thoughts were interrupted when a small voice called out again.

"Reindeer are cheap rip-offs of deer."

*SIGH* 

The girl in the mismatched clothing blushed. "Wrong timing?"

" Unfortunately," answered Cassandra, "It's always bad timing with you."

"Very sorry!" yelped Erin. Everyone stopped focusing on her and looked to Sakura. Syaoran watched as her head drooped and she looked to the floor. Her mouth opened slowly.

"We can do a project on-"

"X-MAS IS ALMOST HERE FOLKS! HERE'S A QUICK BULLETIN FROM THE STUDENT COUNCIL BEFORE THE BELL RINGS!" The PA boomed loudly and drowned out any hope for conversation. Whatever Sakura had to say was going to have to wait. "TODAY FOR LUNCH IS TUNA CASSEROLE WITH MIXED VEGGIES! PLEASE THROW YOUR GARBAGE IN-"

*YING YING YING YING YING YING*

*ZWOOSH*

"Aw man!!" called out Dan as he and Cassandra left, "Let's go to my house after school!"

"Bye!" called Erin, "I'll see you all! Remember that one in every two hundred people is a psychopath!" She ran off.

"C-YA!" Yelled Syaoran. 'Wait a sec… after school… but... what about Uncle?' He looked for Sakura and noted that she was sitting next to Tomoyo, while Mikey was crouched in front of her.

"Don't worry," whispered Tomoyo, "I'll have my mom call your house and your step dad won't be able to do anything! You can stay at my house tonight!"

"ERHM." Syaoran cleared his throat. 

"Fuck!" Mikey whirled around, his green eyes flashing violently. "OH…" he calmed down. "Sorry, I thought you were someone else. Uh, may we help you?" He looked over his shoulder to Tomoyo.

"Gah, you know what, you can. I need to sleep over somewhere today 'cause my uh, my uncle is umm… painting the house and I need a place to stay. Euh… do you know any cheap places?" Syaoran looked up slowly, scared that the taller boy would try to knock him out.

"Hey, don't worry, you can sleep over at my house. My older brother's room is clear since he just left last year. It's a little dusty though." His green eyes glinted happily. 

"I don't mind, uh, thanks. Gah.. I guess I better get going now." 

"Just holler if you need anything. Rooms, CDs, books, I'm in the pilfering business. I get everything for cheap and sell it even cheaper."

" 'Kay. I guess.. Euh, you're a real Humanitarian then?" 

"Like, I've always been, and always will be. I guess that's why Sakura talks to me and Tomoyo, we, help her out sometimes."

"Mm? Really? I see… well, I better go now. I wanted to uh, get an ice cream or something."

"No problem!" Mikey waved at Syaoran as he ran off. "BYE!"

***~*~***~*~***~*~***~*~***~*~***~*~***

AHAHAHAHHAHA ANOTHER CHAPTER! ANOTHER ALPHA-ORDER ONE TOO! 

*dances* b/c I got high, b/c I got high, b/c I got hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh… o.O I better calm down… neways…  here's a reminder : 

Seiruu's name must be changed… thatz rite… I have to change his name… SHUT UP! Stop whining! So… Anyways.. What shall I make his name be? TELL ME EVIL JAPANESE NAMES AND I WILL SOMEHOW INVOLVE YOU IN MY STORY! Make sure you leave a name for me to use for you and a name that can be used for Seiruu's name ^_^ and the winner will be announced in the next chapter ^_^

Okay… well… that's it for now… DANCE FOR ME! BEFORE I BITE YOU WITH MY BRACES ENLACED TEETH AND SUCK YOUR BLOOD! Mmm… blood… ^^ thatz rite, im A VAMPIRE! *dances* and you better review too! ^_^ 


	7. Discoveries

AHOY THERE MATEYS! WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA??? SPONGEBOB SQUARE PANTS! O.o… now where did that come from? 

Anyways. Let me see…. Ah yes… the contest… The winning name is Yukio, meaning one who gets what they want. This name was submitted TWICE… DUN DUN DUN… So… who gets the prize of a MYSTERIOUS CAMEO in my fiction?  Well… seeing as I'm SUCH a nice human…. I'm going to place both their names in the thingy!  

Okay, I lied, the only reason I'm doing it is because Pomite, one of my mental beta readers and a very good friend of mine, suggested that I place both the names in… ^_^ 

So, coolcalico_girl2491 a.k.a Mia, and Blood-Blossom-Mistress a.k.a Nyoko Mitsu you are going to be guest-starring in this chapter… Well, enough talk for now…  *postifies* 

I LOVE STARZ

***~*~***~*~***~*~*[Initial Beginning]*~*~***~*~***~*~***

"…" Speech 

'…' Thoughts

[He is no longer Seiruu but… **Yukio**] A/N's

Disclaimer:  I own Yukio… I own… Card Captor... NISH-NISH! OH YEAH! CARD CAPTOR NISH-NISH! FLYING THROUGH THE SKY! LOOK! IT'S A BIRD! IT'S A PLANE! NO IT'S A BLIMP! Oh, no wait... it's just that stupid super hero, Shard Snapper MISHMISH... 

Anyways… ON WITH THE STORY…. DUN, DUN, DUN, 

***~*~***~*~***~*~***~*~***~*~***~*~***

Find Hope

Chapter Seven… Discoveries

***~*~***~*~***~*~***~*~***~*~***~*~***

Syaoran raced quickly from the library, his mind racing away at a mile a minute…. Which was odd seeing as his school used the metric system…. Who on earth was Koshi?  Who REALLY was Mikey? Why were he and that Tomoyo chick so close to Sakura? And why on earth hadn't Sakura spoken to him? Why had she attacked him with that paper airplane? Had she really been the one who had knocked him down? And if so, why? It was all so very confusing. 

Lost in his train of thought, Syaoran wandered through the dimly lit library aimlessly; unaware of where he was headed or that he was being followed. He was snapped out of his thoughts when a cool hand grasped his arm. 

"Syao!" giggle Connie. "What are you doing? Did you like, get lost?"

Syaoran, being very shocked, blinked in surprise. He had no clue as to where he was or what on earth he was doing. He sure as hell wasn't going to admit to himself or to Connie that he had been thinking about Sakura again. He wasn't going to look like a weirdo in front of a pretty girl. Thinking quickly, he grabbed a book from the shelf in front of him, effectively removing himself from Connie's grip and giving himself an excuse. 

"I-I'm just checking out a book. You know, like, catching up on some reading, learning some new things.  'Cause that's the kind of guy I am." He smiled at her, happy at his quick thinking.  'Oh yeah, very smooth Mr. Li, very smooth.'

/I wouldn't be celebrating now if I were you. /

'Pwah, what do you know? I just stopped myself from being a total idiot in front of a pretty girl. I am a genius!'

/*Snorts* Genius my non-existent ass! If you're a genius then Osama's a saint! /

'Osama? Who's that? And I AM a genius.'

/I don't know… some Arabian terrorist or something. I found his name on your short-term memory in the file labelled "Stuff that makes no sense due to the fact that it's in English." Anyway, GENIUS… did you see the title? *Snort, Snort*/

'Title? Euh….' Syaoran was just about to check the title when Connie's perky voice rang out again. 

"Really? Like, whoa! I LOVE to do that stuff too!" She bounced up and down, happy to have fabricated something to tie the two of them together. "Like, what's it called? Like, maybe I've read it. Or, like, maybe we can, like, read it together or something if it's, like, too compli… comples… like, too hard! 'Cause I'm, like, not as smart as you Syao!" She closed off her extremely honey-drenched remarks with a hundred watt smile. Looking up at him expectantly, she "innocently" twirled a strand of her jet-black hair around one of her perfectly French-manicured fingers. 

"Euh… the name of the book?" Syaoran froze. What was the name of the book?  'Yo, brain… is there something wrong with the title? Anything important I should know about?'

/Nope… In fact, it's very natural. And very primal, it goes back billions of years. / His "mind" snorted yet again. 

"It's called," Syaoran, being the idiot he was, read the title out loud before fully comprehending exactly what it meant, "The New World Kama Sutra."

'Did I just say The New World Kama Sutra?' He paled visibly and blushed the color of a setting sun. 'OH KAMI! You made me make her think that I go around reading PORN!'

/No I didn't… you did. :D /

'You said it was okay to say out loud!'

/No I didn't. Please stop putting words in my mouth. /

'MOUTH? WHAT MOUTH?? You don't HAVE a mouth!'

/I wasn't being literal. It just so happens to be a figure of speech. What I said was, and I quote, "it's very natural. And very primal, it goes back billions of years. *Snort, Snort*"/

'Well I thought it had something to do with animals! You know, bunny rabbits and stuff like that! Stuff that GIRLS would like to talk about!'

/Bunny rabbits, as you put it, happen to be the most sex-crazed animals on earth. Or at least _one_ of the most sex-crazed. /

'Yeah, and now guess who she thinks is the most sex-crazed animal on earth????'

/SYAORAN! There is no need to say things like that! /

'…'

/It's not nice to insult animals. You, my dear, must be a genetic mutation. /

'…' It took awhile for his mind's last remark to set in. 'Why you little –'

/HUSH! She's talking again! /

Syaoran stopped his verbal abuse against his brain and focused his eyes on Connie. She, unfortunately, was staring up at him expectantly. 'Oh KAMI! What if she asked me to show her some new moves???? Or worse, what if she dissed me?' Several extremely horrible put-downs raced trough his mind, sending his train of thought off track yet again. 'NO! I will… stay calm! I will… ask her to repeat herself!'

He leaned back against the bookshelves and pulled his left arm, still holding the New World Kama Sutra, casually against his left leg. Using his right hand, he smoothed down his silky brown hair, and smiled directly at her, hoping that his polished move would have the same wooing effects on young Japanese girls as it had on young Chinese girls. 

"I'm sorry," he began, a small smile playing on his lips. "But, could you… repeat that? I was… lost in thought." Syaoran continued to smile, even though, on the inside, he was mentally cursing himself. 'What if she thinks I was checking her out? Gross. She is so NOT my type. I mean, sure, she's hot and all… but… she's way too much of a cutesy ditz!' His insides shuddered at the thought of having to spend time alone with her. Sure, she was a nice kind of girl, but a wee bit too stuck up. His smile disappeared, just for a second, as he recalled how she had spoken about Sakura. As though she had been some sort of leper. Like she was a dirty disease that no one should get close to. He placed his smile carefully back onto his face and tuned in on her voice again. She was so… not his type.

"Like, I SAID…" She was obviously used to having people hang onto her every word. That was the kind of girl he hated at his old school. 

His eyes glazed a bit, as he remembered their callous remarks, the cold dismissal of him… Once they knew about his family… or his lack of… They had been cold and heartless and ruthless, tearing at him in everyway possible. 

Name-calling… He could still hear them yelling… "HOOKER'S BOY! My DAD fucked your MOM! Hell, EVERYONE CAN FUCK YOUR MOM!" 

He didn't care much about those words… They were true… he was the son of an infamous hooker in their town. Practically all the men of the town had used her "services" at least once, unbeknownst to their wives, girlfriends, colleagues, friends, and children. 

Facts never hurt anyone. His mother never denied she was a hooker… she used an odd skirting of the truth. She was a remarkable saleswoman, and very good with her power of speech. She was able to soothe her friends and outwit the reporters. But she never could keep the most boastful of the males from telling everyone they knew exactly what had happened… or rather what had happened plus several hundred details they decided to add in by themselves. 

What really hurt him were the lies he was fed everyday at school. He was not gay. He was not a hooker. That was his mother. His mother liked males, his mother was a hooker, and his mother was the one that fucked guys. He didn't. Only his mother's boyfriends when they were bored. And he didn't enjoy it. 

Okay, that was a lie. There was pleasure to be found in those gross, carnal acts… but it was forced! It was his body reacting, not himself. It was his body… the weakest part of him. His body yearned for the pleasure, but he hated it. He hated the feel, the touches, the rough yells, the screams, and the… and the… beatings…. 

He had almost forgotten about those…. Almost… There was no way he thought he could ever, forget those. God, the beatings… He wasn't in the library anymore… he was in the room. The room that his mother kept him in… The room that wasn't a room... but was… it was a room… was a palace inside a house… full of everything a boy could dream of. Pogo sticks, Game Boys, Nintendos, Playstations, oodles of toys, tons of Lego, plenty of action figures, loads of new games, magazines… It was like… a dream come true. Except for… the beatings… They always occurred in the room. It was his room, his cage, his cell… his torture chamber. Oh, it looked like a palace… it looked like a wonderland… but a torture chamber is still a torture chamber…. No matter what you put in it. 

"Like, psychon, psychol, psychonolo… Like a book about psychos?"

Connie's voice cut through his thoughts like a warm knife cutting through butter. It shook him out of his reverie. Or rather, annoyed him out of it. Nonetheless, it had snapped him out of his trance, and for that he was grateful. 

"Euh… psychos?" asked Syaoran, his smile faltering yet again.

She blushed a bit, and tried to cover for her lack of a vast vocabulary and her inability to pronounce certain words. "Um, like, you know… Psychos and crazy people?" She giggled. "Crazy like Sakura." She continued to laugh, as though the remark she had just made was the funniest thing ever to be said on the face of the earth. Which it must have been, seeing as it had came from her.

Syaoran stiffened yet again at the mention of Sakura's name in such an offensive statement. But, she was talking about Sakura; perhaps he could use the fact that she always picked on Sakura as an easy way to leech off some information from Connie. He had to make Connie think he liked her. That way, once he gained her trust, he would find out everything about the strange brown-haired girl he lived with.

"Oh, you mean psychology and psychoanalyses?"

"Like, yeah! That's, like, totally what I meant… it was, like, on the total tip of my, like, tongue!"

"Why would Sakura be a psycho?"

"Like, HELLO? You obviously haven't been at this school long, now, like, have you? Like, if you had, then, like, you would know these things! C'mon we've got, like, five minutes of break left! Whatever I miss, I can, like, tell you at lunch. 'Kay?"

"All right," said Syaoran, rather curious. That hadn't been so hard, All ya' had to do was hand out a few long searching glances and Ba-da-bing, Ba-da-boom, ya' got your instant gossip! He started to put the book back onto the shelf, when Connie stopped him.

"Like, you can take it out. If you, like, want to." She smiled up at him and he stared down at her. Stared down at her pink bunny rabbit earrings, her pink cheeks, her pink lips, her pink eyelids, and her pink… everything…. For a second… he was reminded of a large blown-up version of a pink, shiny, plastic Barbie; the kind the little girls at elementary schools always played with. Blow-Up Connie… two for a dollar… He wondered what she would have thought about that slogan.

"Euh, no, I uh, already read it… before. I was just skimming it again." He faltered off, unsure of if he should continue. 

"Really? Like, the whole thing?" Her eyes widened in the perfect imitation of shock. The only way he knew it was an imitation was the creepy way her eyes stayed flat while her entire body tensed and jumped to a the dance she had so carefully choreographed to inflate the egos of all the carefully chosen males she decided to hunt. "Like, WHOA! It's, like, so big! That's, like, totally mental," she gushed, her voice laden with too much honey. 

"Euh…" Syaoran wasn't sure on what to do. Her intense act of buttering him up was really starting to annoy him. He could tell it was all a sham; she just liked the way he looked. What on earth should he do? He rationalized that there were only two things that he could do. He could tell her exactly what he thought of her and her incredible theatrics or he could stick with her until he got the information that he needed. He thought about it for a moment. He sighed inwardly, what to do, what to do? Sticking with her was probably the better idea. Yeah… probably number two. "Thanks." He blinked.

/Gee, she must be slow. / said his mind, awaking from it's slumber. /She doesn't even know what the Kama Sutra is! /

'Shut up okay? I just want to know why Sakura's acting so weird.' He let Connie slowly lead him through the labyrinth of shelves and tables. 'Besides… Connie is kind of cute.'

/So was Babe, but you didn't want to date him, now did you? Admit it, you like the way this Connie acts, you like the way that she looks. And hey, even I have to say, she's really pretty… But… I know what you really like about her. /

'Yes? And what is that?'

/You sir, like what she represents… Those stuck-up chicks back in China. Sure, she's pretty, but she's just like them! I can tell! Just what's under that pretty façade, Mr. Li? /

'A very unique and interesting personality, just like everyone else.' Syaoran realized they were getting closer to the exit as the lights seemed to be getting brighter. He realized that Connie had again latched onto him, like an owner showing off her pet dog. Struggling between wanting to wrench his arm out of her grasp and wanting to be polite, he let her continue to clasp his arm. 

/I agree with the "just like everyone else" part. Her personality is as unique as those designer jeans she and every other rich hussy wears. She's a common Barbie doll wannabe! Don't lie about that, I have that file right here, in my non-existent hands! Here's the thought, "large blown-up version of a pink, shiny, plastic Barbie; the kind the little girls at elementary schools always played with."  How much do you want to bet that she's designing her future house with you right at this moment? Complete with three kids, a cat, two dogs and twelve goldfish? /

Syaoran frowned and drowned out his mind's voice… only to have its consistent droning replaced by Connie's high-pitched humming. His mind immediately froze when he realized just what it was that she was humming… "The Wedding March." He yanked his arm yet again from her grasp and stammered out a quick apology, something about his bracelets slipping. He stood still for a moment while he fiddled with the straps of leather on his wrists in the entrance to the library. ' "Free at last, free at last. Thank God almighty, we are free at last." ' Finally, he had used that quote.

"Um, what time is it?" he asked, not looking at her. He swung his head in the other direction, hoping he looked like he was looking for a clock, while swinging his hands onto his head. He hoped that it would keep her from latching on to him again. 

"It's uh… like…" she trailed off and blinked when the bell rang. "Like, it's time for class! Like, what's your next class? Like, maybe we can go together?"

"Uh… it's Math in, I think, room 214 with Mr… well, I forget…" He smiled at her sheepishly and rubbed a hand through his hair. 

"Damn, I have like, Clothing and Textiles. I'll like, catch you at lunch, 'Kay?"

"Yeah, okay, I guess I'll see you at lunch." He waved at her as she disappeared into the crowd of students, a pink dot in a sea of rainbow coloured swirls. 

/Hey genius! /

'What now?'

/Where's room 214? /

'Good question… it's uh… over…' He realized that he had no idea what so ever on where his next class was located. He sighed. So the words he had spoken to his art teacher from grade four had been true after all. The gods just didn't want him to go to class. Now… what was he to do? He sure as heck wasn't going to ask the office for help, he'd look like a total nerd then. And besides, he didn't even what floor he was on, let alone where the office was!

Suddenly a green, spiky head passed through his line of vision. 

/You know what would be smart? If you like, called out his name and asked him for help, he might come over and help you! /

'Oh, smart…'

"Mikey! Hey, Mikey!" He called out. The tall, adolescent male slowed his rolling gait and turned slowly, his eyes searching the crowd of class-goers, looking for the one that had called his name. He caught sight of Syaoran waving at him and flashed him a smile. Quickly, he made his way through the bustling crowd and stopped in front of Syao. 

"What's up, Syao?" He asked, as the throng of passer-bys behind jostled him around. "Shouldn't you be headed for class? You're going to be late! And on your first day." He shook his head disappointed. 

"Uh, yeah, about that… I would be going… if I knew where the classroom was."

Syao chuckled nervously as Mikey looked at him.  He ran his hand through his floppy hair, a nervous habit he had picked up a long time ago. Mikey had one penetrating look. It felt like he was… oh, cliché, cliché, looking into his soul. It was rather intimidating, especially when you added in the fact that he towered over his own 5'11" at least 6'. Was this the guy he was supposed to spend the night with?

"I'll help you," answered the young male amiably. "What's your next class?"

"Gah, it's math in room 214. Do you know where it is?"

"Yeah, of course. It's my next class. C'mon, it's just around this corner here." He turned around and led the way through the thinning crowd of students, constantly waving at nearly every person that passed by.

'Whoa…' though Syao. 'He must be really popular.'

/No shit Sherlock, ain't he a dealer? /

'Dealer? I didn't know he worked with drugs! Jeebus, I have to start paying attention.'

/*Sigh* I didn't say drug dealer, I said dealer… dealer. He sells stuff to everyone in the school. /

'Oh, right. I forgot about that.'

/You forget about everything. /

'Hey, I don't have to take this kind of abuse.' Syaoran blocked out his mind's voice yet again and tuned into the shuffle of feet down the hallways. He focused on Mikey's prickly hairstyle. Was that… a safety pin in his ear? Syao squinted and realized that it indeed was a safety pin. He hoped Mikey had taken the time to sterilize it before puncturing his ear.

Mikey stopped in front of a large blue door. Turning, he smiled again at Syao and started to speak. "This is room 214. I warn you now… Mr. Crackatowa is one of the world's most boring teachers… He comes in before Mrs. Spool, and that's saying something!" He laughed and then bowed theatrically to Syao. "Come, and follow me into the deep abyss of boredom." He opened the door and motioned for Syao to follow him. Syao entered the classroom and jumped when a loud noise sounded from behind him. He turned quickly to look at the noise and chided himself when he realized it had only been the door. He turned around to see Mikey and realised that the safety pin clad boy had left him and as taking a seat right next to… [DUN, DUN, DUN] Sakura. Syaoran shuffled into the seat behind her, trying desperately to contain his excitement. He wanted to ask her so many questions… Why was she so distant? Why wouldn't she talk? Who was Mikey to her? And who was Koshi???  

As he sat and pondered upon those intriguing questions racing through his mind he realized that he was experiencing an odd emotion. He was becoming overwrought with a very unfamiliar one at that. It tasted bitter in his mouth and burned through his veins, causing him to shudder. What on earth was he feeling? Why did it scorch his insides so? Why was it so intense, so strong? What was it?

And then it hit him. He knew exactly what it was and it shocked him.

Jealousy.

Odd. No. He was not jealous. There was nothing to be jealous of. Except… Sakura's many boy toys. He growled inwardly. Okay, so something was there. He shook his head. There was no point in denying it. He knew that already. 

What he didn't know was **why **he was experiencing this emotion. He had schooled himself against it long ago. Back when he was a child, a young, impressionable thing. Back when the only things that he could have been jealous of were those wonderful families that all the other children seemed to possess. 

He had learned, had been forced to learn just why his family was broken up. It was his fault.

His fault and his dirty little devils' fault, the ones that lived deep within him, the ones that he had to deal with everyday, the ones that his mother saved him from everyday, the ones that had ruined his mother's life, the ones that cause his father to leave him and his mother, the ones that caused his mother to lose her jobs and then caused her to become a prostitute without a steady income, the ones that caused his mother to fall madly in love with one wicked male after another even though she foreswore men after every one of her break-ups. 

At least, that was what his mother had told him. But there was always that tiny voice that was seated in the back of his head. The one that told him it wasn't really his fault, but his mother's. He squished it down. Thoughts like that were dangerous.

His mother was good. His mother was nice. His mother had kept him instead of sending him away for adoption as some of her "friends" had suggested. She was not at fault. That voice was evil. It was the voice of the devils. Mother had told him about it. She had talked about it to him many times. Though talked about it was putting it mildly. She had beaten it into him, almost once a week, drilled it into his head that that voice was the voice of the devils and that it had to be ignored. That everything she did was for his own good. 

She had taught him of the evils of the world, preached to him of her own greatness and his assured damnation to hell. She assured him that with her "love" she would keep the devils from devouring him, keep them from making him do evil acts, keep them at bay… all the while causing a great trouble to herself. And all because she loved him. She told him about the bad thoughts, about the people that would let him die with the devils raging within him, causing him to do fiendish things. The bad thoughts as she put it, or the voice as he said, were made by the devils. They were the devil's way to reach him, to turn him against his own mother, his own flesh and blood that had spent so much of her life trying to save him from them. So he buried them whenever he felt them coming. Sometimes, oh sometimes, he let himself hear them, when he was mad. When he was mad, sometimes, he liked to hear the voice say things about mother. Say things about her punishments, about her endless string of boyfriends, about everything. But afterwards, he was so compelled by guilt that he would do something horrible to make mother punish him. It was the devils that made him do it. Usually, he forced them to the back of his head. And that was where he had kept them. At least, until the twins had come and…

He recalled the reason as to why his mother had given him to Uncle. The twins. Alex and Alexis. Boy and girl. He smiled. Somewhere in reality, he heard a person scoot into the seat next to him. But he didn't really notice… he was in the past.

He did pause though, and he took that time to reflect upon his thoughts. The twins. God, he hadn't thought about them in how long? Not since that morning, but before that, not since… not since the flight down to Japan. He thought back. Alex and Alexis. Boy and girl. Saviour and Saviourette. The ones who had shed the light on his unknown problem. Both in the exact same position as he was. They had said things. Said things that Syao had been thinking but had never had the courage to even acknowledge to himself. Things that his mother had said were lies. The twins had watered the seed of doubt he carried in his mind. The more they hung out together, the more the seed grew. And it had made sense too. He was not evil. He was not wrong. Mother was wrong. Her and her endless train of boyfriends and customers. 

He thought back to the first day he had seen them. Back to the day they had walked into the classroom. Both with identical white-blonde hair, identical icy-green eyes, identical menacing glares that seemed to penetrate deep inside of you. They had come to the class alone, together but with another intangible thing as well, as reputation. They were the children of a whore and a pimp. Their own father pimped his own wife, their mother. The name-calling and whispers began immediately. No one spoke to them, but just loudly enough for them to hear every word. 

They hadn't seemed to mind. At first, Syao had wondered if they were deaf. Then he had realized that they didn't care what the others said. They had each other. And that, for some odd reason, seemed to be enough for them. Syao had gotten mad then. He didn't understand why they had each other. Why he had no twin to look out for him or that needed looking out for. But then again, he didn't want anyone else to go through what he did. 

On their second day of school, the twins sought him out. They somehow… had known about him. They had told him that they could tell if others were like them. Like him… he hadn't even known that he was something to be like. But, apparently, there were others like him… hundred of others, thousands of others. 

Alexis had remained the quiet one, swinging her long legs over the edge of the large bough, her solemn eyes gazing out, past the schoolyard, past the church, past the park, out to the mountains. Her long white-blond hair flew past her. It was long and silky. Syao wondered what her hair would feel like if he ran his fingers through it. Alex's arm was swung tightly about her waist, almost like a seatbelt.

Alex did most of the talking at first. He asked him many questions. _How old are you?_ Sixteen._ How long has it been happening?_ I've been getting beaten since I was in grade four. The… the other stuff came after, right before I started grade six._ What is the average number of beatings you receive in a month? _ A month? It depends on their moods. I'd say at least four if I'm lucky, more if I'm not. _A week? _ At least once, sometimes I get it on everyday. _Who beats you, your mother or your father? _My mother. I do not have a father. _No father, huh?_ No, I don't. _ Do her boyfriends beat you?_ Yes.

His eyes had never left Syao's during the course of the interview. Syao remembered sweating harshly as he sat in the tall limbs of the trees as the male twin's barrage of questions slowed to a halt.  He remembered the way his heart had stopped when he heard that soft female voice call out. _"Can you hear the voice?"_

It had taken him a minute to realize that it had been Alexis who had spoken. Taken him a minute more to realize exactly what she had asked. He had just sat there, swaying slightly, feeling rather nauseous. How could they have known about the voice? He noticed that Alexis' legs had stopped moving. In fact, her entire body was still. The only thing about her that moved was her long, shiny hair and it fluttered in the light breeze. 

Didn't they know that talking about it brought it out? Her eyes had stopped their incessant roaming. Didn't they _know?_ He had struggled to push it back, push back the words that were spilling out from the back of his head like the excess water rushing out of an unattended bathtub. He had, in the end, succeeded but only after a few minutes of intense breathing. He had swayed a bit more on the branch but had managed to keep himself from falling off.

_"You… you know about the voice?"_ His own voice rang out loud and clear in his head.

Alexis had turned bit by bit, allowing Alex time to rearrange his arm. She had moved slowly, slowly, slowly, like a possessed porcelain doll. Her wicked green eyes had been covered, hidden beneath her pale eyelids. She had stared at him, with her eyes shut, seemingly seeing without eyes. Her eyes had gradually slid open and Syao had found himself staring into the deep abyss of her icy green pools of light. He had frozen as he felt a sudden swirl of emotions whip past him, apparently coming from deep within her eyes: fear, confusion, hatred, hurt, oh most of all hurt. She had hurt, she was hurting, and she would always hurt badly. Syao had then realized why Alex had been holding onto her waist so tightly. Without him there, she would surely have plummeted to her death with not so much as a backwards glance to her former life. Alex had been her lifeline, the only thing that had kept her alive, the only thing that had kept her from leaving behind the horrors of this world. Sort of like a twisted sibling blackmail. 

Her head had twisted away quickly. Perhaps she had known that she had shown too much. Her smooth voice had called out yet again, _"You can only help the ones that can hear the voice."_

Syao had swallowed nervously, looked apprehensively at Alex. What was he to do? He couldn't acknowledge the voice... could he? 

In the end… he had. He had had to. He couldn't stand to see the way Alexis' eyes had spun into his, the way he had seen into her soul. He couldn't stand the fact that she was in utter emotional agony. He couldn't deny the voice anymore. If he denied the voice, it would be like denying what he knew had happened to Alexis. And he could never do that. 

So… he did it. He had admitted to the voice. He had acknowledged it. He had said yes… there was something wrong in his life. 

They had started to talk about things after. After he had admitted to the voice. Things that had… somehow…  made sense. Much more sense than what his mother had ever said. Things like… it was his mother's fault for being underpaid and getting fired from her regular job. That a grownup's problems were caused by a grownup's own self, not by a child. That any grownup that went against that was in denial. In EGYPT! In… the Nile… in De Nile… in DENIAL… He laughed silently at that little joke.  

He remembered the long days they had all spent together, sometimes in quiet discussion, sometimes laughing manically for no reason other than the joy of life, and sometimes in a deep silence.  There had been times when Alex and himself would break the gloom, perhaps with a funny saying or an old joke. At rare moments, they had managed to make Alexis crack a smile. It had been the stupid jokes that had always cracked her up. Ones like, _"A man walked into a bar… OUCH!"_

But most of the time, she had been silent, staring out into the country. He remembered one time, one time when she had spoken out of her free will. She had said, "_They are wrong." _He smiled. He and Alex had repeated it. 

It had felt good to say that. It still felt good to say that they were wrong. He had been right all along. He wished he had met the twins before. They had kept each other company when the insults were being launched and had even managed to shoot back a few of their own. 

It had been his fault as to what had happened. He should have learned to keep his temper under check. He always had before. He shouldn't have let his mother find out that he was still hanging out with the twins. The day she had found out, he had been beaten so badly, he had been taken to the hospital. She had forbidden him from hanging out with them anymore, but what could she have done when he was at school? He had kept seeing them. Until it had happened. Until… he paused his thoughts. He would not think about that now. He thought about the day he had involuntarily turned himself in to his mother. 

He should have kept his anger that day under wraps. He supposed, leaning back in his chair, that he had been like a… he used the oldest and most worn out comparison in the book, like a volcano. He had stored up all of his anger and stowed it away… until the day that it all became too much. 

His mother had been sitting there… watching while her latest boyfriend attacked him verbally and physically, shoving him against a wall, yelling vulgar words into his ears. Mark, or Mike, or Mel- or who bloody cared about what his name was! 

The point was that his mother's boyfriend was yelling lies… Things that the twins had shown him were wrong. 

Things like the fact that he was a bastard. He wasn't, he was born while his mother and father were in wedlock. 

That everything was his fault, his mother's jobs, her work hours, and her lack of money… He had droned on and on. But Syao had asked the twins questions… questions that were fuelled by the twins' knowledge and their amazing stash of magazines talking about harassment. 

He had learned that adult problems like, jobs, work hours, funds, ways of life, addictions, they were all the adult's problems. Their problems, not his. They were just looking for people to blame them on. And he just happened to be the closest thing to blame. He didn't blame his mother for doing that. He was too mature for that. But he had been mad. Mad about his mother, mad about his life, mad about what had happened to the twins… He wouldn't be seeing the twins ever again, oh no. Never ever again and that had nothing to do with his mother. He was mad. Very mad…

That was why he had punched Mike or Mark, or Melvin, or whatever his name was straight in the nose, knocking him out. He had descended upon him and attacked him with his fists, screaming back that he wasn't what they said, wasn't what she said, was what **he** was, not EVER what they said. He was NOT evil. He continued to pummel at him until he felt a stinging blow against his face, followed quickly by a sharp cracking noise.

His mother had slapped him. 

He froze, bent over the inert form by his feet. His mother never slapped him on the face. Sure, she punched him in the stomach, pinched his ass, kicked him in the ribs, but she always, always, always, remembered not to leave a mark. Never since the first episode in grade four, when the beatings had begun had she left a bruise on his face. 

And now… she had… slapped him… on his face… and the way it was throbbing… he knew that there was going to be a bruise. 

He stared up at his mother. Their eyes locked. She knew… she knew that he had given in to the voice. Even after all of her hard work, he had given in to it. She wondered what to do. 

Her boyfriend moaned on the floor and started to rock slightly, his hands reaching up subconsciously to touch the blood. She looked at from her lover to her son. What the hell was she supposed to do now? She thought for a moment. Then she did the one thing she always did when she got into big trouble: she called her brother. 

Syao had heard her mumbling from the other side of the room. He had still been there… still stuck staring at his mother's boyfriend's body. He had heard her start talking to this mysterious uncle of his. The only things he had known about him were that he was his mother's older brother and that he helped them out financially.

Some time later, he wasn't sure how long, but the boyfriend's moaning had stopped for a while and then started up again, his mother had hung up. Still with her back to him, she had told him, in a disturbingly quiet and calm voice, to pack up. Apparently he was leaving. 

The next few minutes, hours, days had been a blur for him. He couldn't remember anything. All he knew know was that he was in Japan living with his uncle, Yukio, and his stepdaughter, Sakura. 

He sighed. 

There was a time for thinking and there was a time for working. This, seeing as he was in a classroom, was work time. He tried to think clearly. 

Now, this was math wasn't it? He sighed again. Math went unusually well for him. Solving each algebraic question was like solving an intensely hard riddle; it made him feel satisfied in the end.  But, back in China he had been very ahead of his class; there had been nothing to do during those times when he was recuperating from his beatings, so he had just gone ahead in his math book. It had all been very easy. He was probably way ahead of the people here too. He sighed again.

"Mr. Li."

Syaoran blinked. 

"Um, yes?" Who on earth was talking?? He looked to the front of the class and couldn't see anyone. Where was the teacher? Then again… what on earth did the teacher look like? What was his name again? Mr… Crackass? Mr. Crackersnax? How did he know it was a Mr., anyway?

"If you could please tell me why you are not taking notes, I would be very happy." 

Syao froze. Ah, ha, ha, ha… the teacher was right next to him. 

Syaoran took a good long look at the teacher. Ah, it was a man. He couldn't have told by the voice, it was so monotonous.  He wasn't very old, only about middle-aged. His face wasn't very lined, but boy, was he fat. No, he wasn't fat… he was FAT. No, he wasn't FAT either; he was obese. He was like a jiggling bowl of Jell-O, all three hundred seventy five pounds of him. His skin was grouped in disgusting rolls that seemed to jiggle as he moved.  His light blue shirt stretched over his immense belly. His dark blue pants encased his hefty thighs, seeming to accentuate rather than deemphasize. He looked like a bowling ball… a bowling ball with a very weak comb over hairstyle. 

Syao hated it when old men combed their hair over their scalps in order to hide the huge bald area in the middle. Their scalps always showed through and you could always tell they were trying to cover it up. Did they really think that it they looked better with that style? Didn't they ever look in magazines or on TV and see all those people talking about how gross comb-overs were?

Syao noticed his huge, bushy eyebrows that fell untidily into his eyes. How on earth did his eyebrows get so long that they drooped into his eyes? Wasn't that impossible? Perhaps this teacher should think about getting transplants for his receding hairline from his eyebrows. That would be interesting. The teacher's dark brown eyes stared down at him.

He cleared his throat. What on earth was he going to say? He ran a few lines through his head. 

I'm sorry, sir. The reason I wasn't paying attention was because I was thinking about my horrible twisted past and all the appalling things that my mother did to me. No, that wasn't right. 

I'm sorry, sir.  I was just going through the most important and highly shocking times of my life, which, if you heard them, would probably disgust you and cause you to shrivel up in shame. No, that wasn't right either. 

Now, what about: I'm ever so sorry sir. It's just that I've already learned all of this stuff while I was in China and am a little bit uninterested. Yeah, that sounded just about right.

"Mr. Li! This may be your first day in my class due to that double of day twos in our schedule this week, but surely you must know that I will not tolerate my students not paying attention. And I'll let you off easy today. Just tell me why you weren't paying attention and I will not give you detention." 

No detention? All right! He couldn't get detention today, not when he had a project to go to after school. Hey, wait a sec, how on earth was he going to tell Uncle Yukio that he wasn't coming home that night? How on earth was Sakura going to do it too? He had to talk to her. This was serious. There was no way he'd let her get away with attacking him on the forehead with a paper plane and hiding behind Mikey. And he was going to find out just whom this Koshi guy really was. 

"I see you seem to be quite dumbstruck Mr. Li. Are you feeling all right? Do you have to see the nurse? Did you, by any chance, have an accident?"

"Accident?" He couldn't have just implied what he thought he had just implied.

"Yes. Did you?" Syaoran froze. Gees, this man is insane…. He zoned out for a second… I'm how old and he's asking me if I had an ACCIDENT? He realized that he should be paying attention to the teacher and zoomed right back in again to his very boring voice. 

"It's quite all right. It happened a few weeks ago to poor Johnny K. He transferred. Too much for him emotionally. Not that Johnny was ever very emotionally stable. He was a nice kid. Always did his homework. Always paid attention in class. Oh, right. Mr. Li! Did you have an accident?" 

The class was tittering away the entire time the middle-aged man was talking. When he asked Syaoran about having an accident the second time, there were a few poorly concealed guffaws. When he asked a third time, the class all but exploded in laughter. 

Syaoran fought the blush as it crept up his face. "No sir. I did not have an accident."

"Are you quite sure son?" 

More laughter. Syao struggled to keep his composure and hold himself back from slapping the teacher silly.

"Yes sir. I think I would know if I went to the bathroom or not. I happen to have full control of my bathroom habits."

"I know that, but do you have full control of your drinking habits? It's nothing to be ashamed of. Some people just do not understand when they are full."

"People such as yourself?"

A person snorted. The rest of the class fell silent. Suddenly, Syao heard the ominous "Oooooooo!" noise that always accompanied insults of all kinds. 

The teacher's face went red. He looked kind of like a tomato, or perhaps he looked more like a large apple. But, it didn't really matter what fruit he looked like. All that mattered was that he was blushing like a bright red fire engine. 

"There is no need to be so, so, so,"

"So frank, honest and in other words straightforward? Isn't honesty a virtue?" 

Perhaps he could manipulate his teacher? He always did like to play with people's minds. It had become a habit over the years. He took rides on the subways for fun, sometimes going up and down the same track three times a day for no reason other than finding people he knew he would never see again and creeping the living hell out of them, or making them feel highly uncomfortable, jealous, insecure, outraged, frightened, turned on and a multitude of other emotions that he just couldn't remember at the moment. 

"Are you trying to quash my inner child? Are you trying to scar me for life? Are you trying to say that you shouldn't be honest with people? Are you saying that honesty is not a virtue? Are you saying my parents brought me up wrong? What are you saying, sir??" Syaoran put on his confused facial expression. 

"What am I saying? I am saying it is wrong to, to, it is wrong to question your elders! Open your textbook Mr. Li!" 

Mr, whatever his name was tried to walk off down the side of the class, but Syaoran attacked him yet again with another barrage of questions. 

"So, you're saying that it's wrong to ask question to your elders? How on earth are we to learn anything if we don't ask questions? Isn't that the whole point of life, to ask questions and then learn the answers? What would life be without questions? Why, no one would question anything. No one would say, 'Who stole my car?' No one would ask 'Who has killed his man?' No one would ask, 'Who had killed those millions of Jews during WWII?' Is that what you wanted to happen? Are you a Neo-Nazi in disguise? Is this class your way of recruiting children for the rest of your Neo-Nazi fiends? Why are you a Neo-Nazi? Why on earth do you find genocide fair? Why? WHY?" Syao looked horror-struck and he knew it. Those long hours spent with only a mirror as his companion while he was recuperating from his potential stepfathers' blows had helped him hone his acting skills. He was almost as good as his idol, Konstantin Rabinovich. But that was only what he thought; he knew he would never be as good as the academy award-winning superstar actor. But hey, he could always dream, right?

"What? I don't! You learn! I mean of course I'm not a Neo-nazi! Why on earth would a Japanese man be a Neo-nazi? It doesn't make sense! Stop making these, these, vile and wild accusations! They just don't make SENSE!" The teacher was flustered now; he couldn't seem to be able to make proper sentences. Now the fun would begin.

"Unless… if that's what you want us to think!" A look of comprehension dawned on his face. This was getting to be fun. 

"Oh god! It is, isn't it? Of course, no one would suspect an extremely overweight Japanese man of being a Neo-Nazi! Because it's so not feasible! 

"But it could be! I bet you are! You're in a gang of super terrorists! And you're all Neo-Nazis! You were captured once weren't you? And that's why you're so grossly overweight! You're using your weight as a disguise to get the FBI off of your tracks! But why Japan? 

"Of COURSE! Because in Japan you're less likely to be noticed! Isn't that right?  A fat Japanese man wouldn't attract attention in Japan, would it? Your reasoning is extremely intelligent for a man of your size! One would think you were nothing but a pompous, exceptionally overweight, balding, vapid middle-aged man with nothing to do with his life except bore his students to death! But you're not! It's incredible! You're actually a villain hiding out from the FBI, trying desperately to act normal! How ingenious!"

The fat man seemed to be flabbergasted. How on earth had that boy's tirade gone from insolence to pure flattery? It didn't make sense! And it had happened in mere seconds. He didn't understand where that young man was headed with his tirade, but if he touched on the subject of his weight again, he would surely regret it. 

"Don't worry, sir. We won't tell anyone that you're an undercover villain who's wanted by the FBI for the killing of millions of Jews in WWII! It'll be our little secret, won't it you guys?" He looked around the classroom and smiled as he heard the children murmur with their voices, some sort of affirmative answers. 

"We're not going to blow your cover, even though you're an evil old man who was involved with the mass slaughter of millions of innocents, because we think you're cool. Don't we now?" Syao looked out to the classroom again, now thinking of them more as an audience. They murmured affirmatively yet again. 

Most of them were in shock. NO one… and they meant NO one ever talked in Mr. Crackatowa's class. Ever. There just wasn't any point. And here was the new kid, talking a mile a minute, and managing to make jibes at the teacher about his weight. Without getting into trouble. It was absolutely amazing.

"You, you think I'm cool?" Mr. Crackatowa asked, puffing his chest up with air.

"Why, of course sir! You're the coolest teacher I've met in Japan!" answered Syaoran.

"Oh, why… well… I see." He didn't seem to remember what he was going to do next. The past few minutes seemed to be a blur.

"Are you going to continue on with the notes, sir? The ones we were all so diligently taking?"

"Why, yes, that was exactly what I was going to do. Thank you for reminding me Syaoran! One bonus mark for reminding the class on what to do." 

The overly large man waddled up the aisle and started yet again droning on, in what Syao believed to be the world's most boring voice ever. 

Most of the other children stared in astonishment at Syaoran. No one had ever insulted Mr. Crackatowa and gotten away with it. But somehow, this Li, Syaoran kid, he had! In fact, he had even gotten a bonus mark from it. It was amazing! Simply amazing.

The class continued to watch Syao, in case he did anything else important and/or stunning. But they were duly disappointed. He just picked up a pencil and started to take notes. 

Let down, they returned to their bleary world between reality and sleep, a state that could only be induced by this infamous teacher and dispelled by the ringing of the bell.

Sakura blinked. Gees, he sure was daring. She had been so sure that he was going to get detention. She felt a surge of happiness flow through her when Mr. Crackatowa walked off and away. She sighed. Stupid Syao! What was his problem? Didn't he realize that Step-Papa was serious when he said he didn't like it when they had detention? He had the wounds to prove it to himself too, and he was still picking fights with the teachers. 

She sighed again. And how was he supposed to tell Step-Papa that he was going to stay at Mikey's? Mikey would help, as would Tomoyo. But everything would have to get fixed sometime during school. There was no way that Step-Papa would stand for anything last minute. She turned slightly and grimaced at Mikey, demonstrating just how much she hated that class. Mikey frowned back and moved one of his hands across his throat. She giggled silently. She would have to tell Mikey to call Step-Papa for Syaoran and explain that he was staying at Mikey's house. Same with Tomoyo. 

She blinked, stared up at the clock and groaned inwardly. Time seemed to be frozen. She stared at Mikey and stuck her tongue out at him, signalling that she needed to speak with him. He stuck his tongue out and licked his nose. That signal meant that he would lean over in a bit to hear her out. 

'Stupid Crackatowa…. Why doesn't he look in the OTHER DIRECTION? Bah. Probably all those girls in short skirts and tube tops in the front row.' Her face fell. Stupid popular freaks. 

Oh well, those were the people that Syao would hang with now. She would make sure of it. Soon, she would have to have a talk with him and explain that she was helping him. There was no point in pretending not to know him if he was just going to talk to her like everything was normal. 

Syaoran blinked. Gees, this was getting to be very boring. In fact… it was just as boring as Mikey had said it would have been. Syaoran looked around. 

Ah, right. Mikey. Located to his right, diagonally. He stared at the back of his spiky green hair. Was it just him, or was it slightly metallic? Or maybe it was just the light. 

Syao blinked. This was no time to be staring at the back of Mikey's head. It was "Look like you're working" time. He looked up at the teacher. 

Mr. Crackatowa was staring at his projector screen, droning on about graphing equations. Okay, since Syao already knew about all of this, it was time to think. 

Syao stared up at Sakura's hair. It was in an odd sideways ponytail, the end strands dangling at her ear. Didn't it annoy her? Did he annoy her? He bet Mikey didn't annoy her. Oh, nor that Koshi guy. He couldn't forget about him. 

'I wonder if he goes to our school. Is he older than me?' He paused. 'Probably.'

He moved his eyes off of the swanlike neck of Sakura. He fixed them, yet again onto the back of Mikey's head. Watching him. A pencil found its way into his hands. It started to twirl. 

He saw Mikey lean over, towards Sakura. His slim fingers opened her textbook. But Syao wasn't watching that, he was watching his mouth. Mikey was whispering something into her ear. 

The pencil twirled more quickly. 

Sakura paused and then put a hand over Mikey's. She leaned closer to him. Her mouth was practically touching his ear. Her mouth moved slowly, forming words only to be heard by Mikey.

'Probably some declaration of undying love.' Syao's breathing quickened. He felt something tighten in his gut. He ground his teeth together a bit, not noticing the miniscule effects that were being caused by Sakura's sudden closeness with Mikey. The pencil weaved throughout his fingers, around one, over the other, under that one, over that one, around the thumb, over his index, under his middle, over his ring, around his smallest finger. 

Sakura, by this time, had stopped whispering into Mikey's ear. She was leaning back in her seat, loose hairs sliding down her neck. His breathing caught as Mikey leaned over and started to whisper into her ear again. 

The pencil whirled quickly through his fingers. He leaned back, taking a deep breath. Bringing his right hand up, he allowed his other hand to join in the small display. He really could do some wicked twirling with his hand. He supposed he should have tried out for cheerleading or something. Ah, the things you learned to amuse yourself with when you're recovering from forced anal sex. Oh the wonders of earth. He sighed and allowed the pencil to loop around his fingers. It was oddly soothing. As he watched, Mikey's hand traced the outside of Sakura's ear. He froze.

Sakura froze and then giggled silently, hand to her mouth. Mikey was really too funny for his own good. He was going to get her into detention. She stifled her giggles by thinking about Syao. The poor guy, he was probably in pain. Those bruises had been big and ugly. She silently giggled again as Mikey leaned in to say more about how he was an expert at phone calls to unsuspecting, or in Sakura and Syao's case, suspecting step-parents. 

Syao's pencil whirled between his hands, forming odd geometric shapes and patterns. It whirled in odd concentric rings, causing his seatmate, one that he did not know he had, to gape in wonder at. The pencil sped up as Mikey leaned behind Sakura to peer outside the window. Now it was just a deadly yellow blur. If he were to lose control of it, it would surely take out someone's eye. 

He watched silently as Mikey's arm slid easily around Sakura's shoulders and his mouth bit at her earring. 

The pencil finished halfway through its dance. It flew from his hands and slammed into the wall, right between two windowpanes. It cracked in half on impact, sending bits of lead and wood onto the floor.

He was suddenly aware of the presence of seemingly hundreds of eyes on him. Oh, what to do, what to? He sat in his seat, looking innocent, his hands folded neatly on his desk atop his notes. He tried to ignore the slight blush that was spreading across his face like hot fire. 

"Mr. Li, was that your pencil?" Mr. Crackatowa's voice rang out from the front of the class. Syao looked up. Apparently the old man had seen him. Or had he? There was no point in taking chances.

"Yes sir, that was my pencil," he answered in a shocked tone.

"And why, if I may ask, did your pencil fly into the wall? While I was speaking? Were you not paying attention?" Apparently the old coot had short-term memory. He didn't seem to remember all that fabulous flattery that Syao had showered him with.  Ah, time to start again. 

"Oh, I was paying attention sir! Very much so! In fact, the reason my pencil went flying was because I was paying utmost attention to your teaching." He smiled innocently at him. 

Mr. Crackatowa frowned. What on earth was this child trying to do? Blame this disruption on his teaching? There was nothing wrong with his teaching! In fact, it was the best! He recalled some child calling him cool. Now when was that? He stared into nowhere, trying to recall when and who had called him that.  Bah, it wouldn't come to him. He blinked. Oh, right, that Li child. He put on his best glaring face. No one disrupted his class and got away with it. Except for that one child. Now, what was his name? Ah, yes, Arnold. He sighed and got back into his evil mood. This would not be another Arnold. 

"Paying attention to me? I think it would be the exact opposite! You were NOT paying attention to me!" He blared loudly, shocking students out of their half-dreaming state. Oh gosh, would ya look at that! The new kid was talking… again! They all swivelled in their chairs, straining for a better look. History was being made, and they were there to witness it. They had to remember every detail of that class so that they could embellish upon what happened and gossip of it to each other. 

"I beg to differ sir, I was paying attention! I swear!"

"You were paying attention? What kind of a lie is this? Preposterous! If you were paying attention to me, then why did your pencil go flying and hit the wall?"

"That sir, will be explained if you will just let me speak."

"I am letting you speak!" Blathered the old man, yet again fumbling over his words. "Tell me NOW! Or I shall to punish you!" 

Syaoran finished the line in his head, 'In the name of the moon!' Ah, ha, ha, ha, Sailor Moon! Gees this man was hilarious. No, must not get distracted by short skirt wearing anime chicks! He took a deep breath and calmed himself. He had to stay concentrated. 

"As you know sir, you were just talking about the graphing equation "Y = mx + b." I, being the wonderfully talented soul I am in math, became extremely interested. You see sir… graphing has always been my love. I find the whole process of graphing to be extremely rewarding. The solving of the y, the casting of the b, the finishing off of the equation, it just, makes me very emotional sir.  I feel this odd sort of accomplishment when I work out an answer. And to graph it out and give it a physical form, as in a graph…. Well, sometimes, it makes me teary eyed. It's a very rewarding process, math is."

Syaoran smiled inwardly. He had the class eating right out of his hand, and more importantly, that overweight teacher as well. Now it was time to lay on the sugar.

"And sir, you were just so, emotional, so, so very I don't know how to say it. So, moving when you were up there, that I was overcome with emotion for the subject. When you teach sir, it's like a whole new take on the world.  I was so moved, that well, I lost control of my pencil, and it just went flying in my excitement! I'm ever so sorry sir, I just couldn't contain myself!" He bowed his head in what seemed to be a gesture of shame. He was actually, trying to conceal the evil smile that just had to pop up on his face at that crucial moment. Oh well, it made it all seem more real. Now, it was time to listen in on the fruits of his labour. 

Mr. Crackatowa blinked and the rusty cogs and wheels in his brain started to clank slowly together. Never before had he ever had to think so much in one of his classes. Usually he just stayed at the front of the class and dictated to the class. Sometimes, he would have to think a little bit in order to dish out punishments to the occasional troublemaker, but that was rare. 

He wasn't sure if he liked this thinking.  It confused him a bit.  There was too much to think about. 

This child, no, this young man, he was much too polite and mature to be labelled as a child, perplexed him. At one point, he seemed arrogant and seemed to be trying to pick a fight… and then he did an about-face and started to compliment him. What was he doing? Perhaps, he, Mr. Crackatowa, was starting to read too deep into his actions. Yes, that was probably it. 

He mentally shook himself. He remembered back to a time when he had been a little Mr. Crackatowa, big-boned, exited about school, especially his favourite subject, math. He remembered the delight he had felt when he had discovered the world of graphing. His thoughts took a dark turn and he found himself in a hallway of repressed memories. Bullies crowded around him, big, tough, making fun of his weight, his build, and his funny eyebrows. Exceptionally tall females pranced around him, screeching with laughter as he was thrown to the floor, his retainer flipping crooked in his mouth, his books haphazardly scattering on the floor. He recalled the nights he had spent poring over his math textbooks, especially the ones that concentrated on graphing. He would show them. 

And he had. 

Here he was, better off than the rest of those fleabags, the bullies that had once tortured him were scrounging for food in the garbage cans located outside of McDonald's. He had seen McNair out there the other day. Hopeless, a drug addict, his hands quivering, arms a mass of bloody needle pricks. He had seen Celeste as well. Celeste, the cheerleader, the one that had egged the bullies on and laughed every time he fell… she was a hooker, running a strip down by a rundown bar, Mary Sue's Delights. He was better than them, better off then them, and he was a better person. He could still emphasize with them. They had messed up. Now they were paying for it. He wouldn't forgive what they had done to him and his friends and to countless other people. But he could feel sorry for them and what they had become. He supposed that in a weird way, they probably felt sorry for the people that actually did grow up and mature and stop taking drugs and going to wild parties. 

Ah, class. He was in class. He… what was he doing? Ah yes, chiding this young man, what was his name? Ah, yes, Li, Syaoran. He was reprimanding him for disrupting class. He looked like the old bullies he had dealt with in his high school years, but he acted like himself. He smiled. Such a young man, full of hope and life. He sincerely hoped that he would get in with a good crowd and make something of himself. That Syaoran kid reminded him of himself as a child. He would have to tell his wife, Betsy about him. 

Syaoran blinked. How long did it take that man to process a thought? Or perhaps, he had been so shocked that he had had a heart attack on the spot and had and extremely quick onset of rigor mortis? Surely not, rigor mortis couldn't start that quick. Or perhaps he had a nervous breakdown and at the moment was screaming on the inside of his body. Or not. Well, he could have been sprayed with an all-purpose, sticky substance that froze him to the spot by tiny invisible aliens that were going to take over the world. Or not. Before he could make up any more fantastic ideas, he was moving again.

"Don't worry son," came out his voice, rich and booming, with more life than anyone else had ever heard him speak in for years. The class gaped at each other. This was turning out to be one hell of a class. First, a new kid, then the new kid talked, then he mouthed off to the teacher, then Mr. Crackatowa ignored it and gave him bonus marks, and then the new kid chucked a pencil at the wall and then, if this wasn't all enough, Mr. Crackatowa dismisses it and loses his monotony! One of the girls fainted; she had been sure it was the end of the world and that the apocalypse was starting. 

While Mr. Crackatowa and practically the entire class hovered anxiously over her lifeless body, Syaoran allowed his mind to wander away. He turned his head to the side and looked out the windows that Sakura seemed to find so interesting. And oddly enough, it was. There was so much going on out there that he seemed to be missing in here. 

He stared out at the bright blue sky and into the puffy clouds. Clouds always reminded him of his dad. He wasn't really sure why. He remembered… he tried hard to catch the stray memory as it drifted in his head. Something about… the clouds being angel's pillows and someone watching over him. He sighed. His father had been a good man. He didn't remember him much. 

He sighed and turned his attention to a flock of birds flying past the school. They were in a "V" shape and seemed to be squawking happily. He could see their beaks moving, but he couldn't hear what they were screeching. He tried to imagine it. 

Bird Number One: Do you think we should stop by this weird tall block thing? 

Birds Three and Five: Yeah! Go tall blocky thingy! They smell good! 

Bird Two: They have cool food stores! I think they call them garbage cans! 

Bird One: To the block thing we go!

The birds swooped down to the building, two of them on the roof and two in the courtyard, attacking the garbage bags. The fifth one had disappeared from sight. Syao watched the birds peck away at the ground and at the harsh plastic bags encasing the student body's remains. He laughed. Student body's remains. He had made a joke and not even realized it. Or was it a joke? He couldn't tell. It had been a while since he had laughed at something. His eyes stared out at the birds but his mind traipsed backwards into dreamland yet again. His last conscience thoughts were of how the girl would react if she woke up to the large bulbous eyes of Mr. Crackatowa peering down at her?

***~*~***~*~***~*~***~*~***~*~***~*~***

It was a normal day. He went to school. He was tired, aching from another night of forced sexual activities from his mother's current husband to be, M-Mi-Mel-Mac… he didn't know. He yawned. No biggie.  It was just two weeks before he would attack his mother's boyfriend and three weeks before he would meet Sakura.

He didn't realize that anything was out of the ordinary until he was halfway through his first class. There hadn't been a single paper airplane shot at his head. 'What the hell…' Why on earth were they being so nice? He got a little paranoid. Perhaps they were going to set him up for something extremely humiliating and degrading by first gaining his trust? When he found out what had actually happened, he wished to god that it had been what he was thinking before.

He looked around and then realized what the class was gawking at. Alexis wasn't in class. Alex was just sitting there. His book wasn't open. His eyes weren't on the board. He was just… staring off into space, a dazed expression on his face.

Syaoran had been a little afraid at first. Then he became very afraid. Why on earth wasn't Alex taking notes? He looked down at his own pages of notes. Alex always had at least twice as many pages as notes as he did at the end of the day. He had an acute sense of hearing and an exceptional memory, so he could write everything that pored out from the teacher's mouth. But, there he was staring into space, like a mentally challenged child. 

He blinked, confused. What was going on? Alexis and Alex had never even been late in the entire time he knew them. They had never even coughed or so much as sneezed in his presence. And… now, Alexis, undoubtedly the stronger of the two was… missing. What had happened?

Evil scenarios ran through his mind. Alex getting hurt and Alexis had ran in front of him to stop it, causing herself to get the brunt of the attack and now she was at home, recuperating. Or worse, she was in the hospital. Or even worse… she wasn't anywhere… she was dead…. He froze at those thoughts and reprimanded himself for thinking such despicable thoughts. Alexis was not dead. The young ice princess could not die. There was nothing that could penetrate her icy façade. Except, perhaps an extremely stupid joke. He waited impatiently for break so he could interrogate Alex on her whereabouts. 

At break, Syao and scurried up the trio's favourite tree, oblivious to the nasty words being hurled at his back. He perched on his favourite branch and waited for Alex to show up. He leaned back. Where on earth could she be? He waited awhile, confused. Where was Alex? He knew that walking too slowly from the school would result in several physical and verbal attacks. 

Alex showed up a while later, his hair rumpled no doubt from the numerous noogies he had encountered while walking to the tree.

Syao blinked at him. What was wrong with him today? He watched Alex try to crawl up the tree and fail, twice! The guy was as limber as a monkey and now he couldn't even climb this old tree. What was _wrong?_

The second the blond-haired male scrambled up the tree, Syaoran bombarded him with a torrent of questions. "What's wrong with you? You're acting so weird! Don't deny it! I say you in class! You weren't even taking notes. You were staring into space, doing nothing! You couldn't even climb the tree. And you walked too slowly! You know what happens when we don't walk fast enough! Where's Alexis? What's wrong? Is she okay? Is she in the hospital? Is she sick?"

Syao stared at the young man's hair. He would have looked into his eyes but his head was tilted, so all he could see was his shiny blond hair. It was mussed up now, but he could see how it resembled his sister's. He waited impatiently for Alex to speak. He opened his mouth and was about to start talking again, but Alex had lifted his head.

Syaoran froze. 'His eyes,' he could remember himself thinking. 'His eyes… they're like… hers.'

Alex opened his mouth. "She's sick." He didn't meet Syaoran's eyes. Syao looked at him funny. "I'm going to be sick soon too. We're going to be sick together. We're going to live together." He smiled and looked out past Syaoran. "Together forever. But we'll be sick. But we'll be happy 'cause we're going to be together."

"What are you talking about? How sick is she? What's wrong? Does she have a flu?"

"Yes." He still didn't look into his eyes.

"You're lying."

"How perceptive of you."

"Where is she?"

"At home."

"You're lying again. Look at me." Syao stared at Alex. His eyes still wouldn't meet his. "Where is she? Do your parents know where she is?"

Still he didn't look.

"They don't know she's gone do they?"

"She's sick."

"Bullshit. She's the healthiest person I know, next to you. Where is she?"

"I don't know."

Syao snorted, confused. "You said that you would be together. You have to know where she is if you're going to be with her."

"Oh, I'll be with her. I just don't know where she is exactly."

"Do you have any knowledge of where she could be?" He was getting tired of this. Why didn't he just come out and tell him?

"I do."

He growled, frustrated. "Where? Where could she be? Tell me! I have just as much right to know as you do! She was one of my best friends! Just like you. But you sure as hell aren't acting like one right now! Where is she and why are you acting so weird?"

"She can be in one of two places."

"Go on."

"Heaven or hell."

Time froze. The two boys stared into each other's eyes. Three of birds flew past. They squealed and flew around in circles, amusing the kids on the ground below. Two of the guys started to throw stones at them. One of them connected, stone with skull. The bird fell with a defeated squawk. 

"You're lying. You stupid jackass. Don't say shit like that." Syao stared at Alex, angry that he would say something so stupid.

"I'm not lying."

"Yes, you are!" Syao stared daggers into Alex's eyes and growled. "What the fuck is your problem? Saying crap like that! Just 'cause you don't want to tell me stuff doesn't mean you have to say shit about your sister!" His vision went red. He wanted to punch Alex. He wanted to slap him until he said he took it back. Until he admitted that he was lying. He got ready to swing.

And Alex punched him neatly on the jaw, making him fall backwards on the branch.

Syao blinked and stared up at him in shock. 'Did he just… hit me?' That bastard was coming down. He whacked him in the face, leaving a bright red mark. "You bastard!" 

He pushed up and straddled the branch, trying to get a better grip. He thwacked him viciously with his left hand and punched him in the gut. Alex doubled over and allowed Syao some time to catch his breath. He shouldn't have taken his eyes off of him; Alex smacked his nose so hard that it started to bleed down the front of his face. Alex took advantage of Syao's disbelief and pinned him down.

"I'm not lying." His voice quivered with emotion. "What kind of a jackass says crap like that about his twin? Do you think that's what I am?" He shook Syao violently, scraping his back against the rough tree bark. "Is that what you really think of me? That I'd actually joke about stuff like that?" His eyes burned into Syao's and he could see the truth etched into them. The horrible, horrible truth. 

Syao struggled to get up and then stopped once he realized that Alex wasn't going to let go of him without an answer. "No. I don't. I'm… I just can't… you're serious then? She's… she…." His voice trailed off. He couldn't say it. "That's just fucked."

Alex let go of him and leaned back against the trunk of the tree, knees to his chin. "Yeah."

Syao blinked. His vision had gone blurry. Something wet trailed down one cheek. 'Aw crap… some bird shit on my face.' He moved his hand to his face, to wipe it away and pulled it back quickly as drop after drop flowed onto his hand. Ah… apparently… he was crying. He took of his shirt and held it up to his nose, trying to staunch the flow of blood and hide his tears. He never really liked it when he cried. It made him feel weak. 

"How," his voice croaked. "How did… when did…. I don't get it… Who?"  He looked at Alex and noticed that his eyes were red. He didn't see how he couldn't have noticed before. He pinched his nose through the cloth.

"She did it."

"No…" Syao blinked back his tears. She couldn't have. She… she was strong. Not her… Oh Kami-sama, not her….  Not happening, not happening… This was a joke… an evil and complex joke made to make him feel like crap. 

"This is a joke isn't it? Some sort of weird twisted joke to mess around with my emotions isn't it?" It was… oh say it was…  "Gees man! I thought you two were my friends!" He waited for some sort of signal to show that he had been right. That it was some sick, twisted practical joke, made to make him feel like crap. Oh god, let Alexis jump up that tree right now and… and… be alive.

Alex stared right into his eyes, and Syao had an odd wave of nostalgia fall over him. It hadn't been that long ago that he had stared deep into the icy green depths of Alexis' soul, had it? No. She couldn't be dead. It just wasn't possible. 

Syao tried not to look into his eyes. He really did. He couldn't help himself from looking though. He was being drawn in. He recoiled inwardly when he saw what was in Alex's eyes. Self-loathing, hate, fear, a jumble of mismatched emotions, struggling to come to the surface, only to be pushed down, deep within him. Syao shuddered. Why?

"It's not a joke." Alex's eyes blinked, he looked away. A tear fell down his cheek. One tear of many to come, one tear of many that had already been shed…. "I wish it was. Kami-Sama, I wish it was." Another tear followed the first. He brushed them away, impatient. He had a story to tell. He had to explain. Why… how… what was going to happen. 

Syaoran knew he was telling the truth. He felt stupid for doubting him before. But what else could he have done? He didn't want to believe it. He hated death. Yet again it had stolen another from him. He wanted to kill death. Or at least maim it. 

He remembered Ellie. Remembered what she had said to him one day… "Never knock on Death's door. Ring his doorbell and run away. Death really hates that." And Ellie had never rung Death's doorbell but someone else had for her. She had tried to run away. Had failed. And Death had gotten her in the end. Death always got you in the end.

"I… I found her last night." Alex paused, began to delve into his mind. Did he really have to tell him? 'I have to let him know,' he thought. 'He has to know. I have to tell someone what happened. Have to tell someone what's going to happen.' He took a deep breath. 

"Oh?" Syao froze. He did not want to hear this. 'No,' his thoughts screamed at him, 'don't tell me! I don't _want_ to know! I don't _need_ to know. I don't want to see her in my dreams. I don't want to know, I don't want to know, I don't want to know.' He paused. 'I need to know.'

"She was doing her homework. It took her a lot longer than it took me that evening, but I've always been faster than her, so I didn't pay attention to it. She… she was… she…. was writing good-bye notes." He paused. "She wrote you one." Another pause. He looked up at him, eyes shining, "it's in my bag."

Syao blinked. He missed her already. "Did she? What… what does it say?" 

"I didn't look."

"Oh. I-I guess I'll get it after school then, or something." He sniffled, fought to control his emotions. He won. 

"Yeah… after school." Alex stared down at the ground and let his eyes roam about. He took in the scene with the birds. The kids were all surrounding the dead bird. Some of the kids were disgusted by the sight of bird, others by its killer, and some people were disgusted by the both of them. He sighed. He had to get on with his story. He had to prepare Syao for what was going to happen. Alexis had wanted it this way. She had told him so.

***~*~***~*~***~*~***~*~***~*~***~*~***

"Alex," said Alexis, calmly.

"Yeah?" He half-turned, his eyes still on the TV. American shows were so stupid. Why on earth would you eat worms to get money? Even if it was $500, 000.00. You could easily make that much in a… while. He smiled as one young contestant ran off the set screaming, her arms waving wildly.

"Will you leave me for a bit?" Her voice sounded strange. Her request was even stranger. They almost always stayed in the study together to do homework. Whoever finished first got to watch TV while the other did the rest of their work. 

"Why? What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I just… want to work on this alone. The TV's too loud. I-I think I'm getting another headache." She swung her head low; allowed her hair to sweep over her eyes, hiding them from his view.

He switched off the TV immediately. Her headaches scared him. She had described them to him once…

It was as though a little demon was sitting inside her brain and was slowly expanding, filling her skull to maximum capacity and then some. Once her skull was full, he would blast away at her brain, causing it to pulse and bash against the inside of her skull at a horrible pace, making her eyes glaze over and her head spin. She felt nauseous and her equilibrium would quit on her, making her grasp at her stomach with one hand and at anything near her with the other, desperate to keep herself steady and upright. She'd often end up collapsing to the floor, her eyes bulging, trying to see where she was. Small noises magnified a thousand fold and the quietest whisper seemed to be shouting at her. 

He recalled the hundreds of times he had lifted her, pulled her to their bed, laid her down and turned off the lights, shut the curtains… warded off their parents and their intentions. He remembered bringing her pills and cold compresses… listening to her moan about how she wanted to die… oh god how she wanted to die. 

He had held her then. Held her when her tears had wracked her small frame and caused her to stay awake during those long nights. He had held her and comforted her with the small noises from the back of his throat. She would cry then, but fall asleep, still crying, but asleep nonetheless. She always felt better after she slept. But it was so hard for her to fall asleep with the demon in her head. 

She hadn't had one for a few months. He had been happy. He had thought they had been gone forever. Apparently, he had thought too soon. 

He hurried over to her, wanting to know if she needed anything. His first thoughts had been on how she was going to finish her homework.

"I'll do your homework for you. I know thinking just makes them worse." 

He had offered to help her before, though seldom had she allowed him. She was proud of the fact that she was as smart as him, if not a bit slower. She had only let him help her out on the days it had been bad, very bad. The days when she couldn't open her eyes in their darkened room without crying out because of the harsh light. The days when she had covered her ears with both their pillows because she couldn't stand the noises her father was making in the kitchen while he made the morning coffee. The days when she had wept softly in the bathroom, covered in blankets, hurting so bad that she couldn't sleep, trying to keep him from waking up and seeing her in that condition. She hated it when he saw her crying. It made her feel weak.

"No. That's okay. I'm okay. I just-I just think that it… that I might be getting one, that's all."

"Oh. Well, I'll just go to the room and hang out there while you do your homework then, okay?"

Her head was still bent over her work when she answered. "Okay."

"Do you want me to get you a Tylenol?"

"Could you… just get me the whole bottle? I may be in here for a while." 

Nothing strange with that, he was used to getting her the whole bottle. Sometimes she took more than one at a time, but that was okay. 

"Sure, I'll be back in a sec." He walked out the door and quietly padded across the hallway to the shiny black, white and yellow kitchen. He opened the medicine cupboard and took out the bottle of Tylenol. He looked at it for a second and then put it back, deciding to get her Tylenol 3 instead. She had told him once that Tylenol 3 was her favourite. He sighed. It was kind of sad that she had a favourite headache pill. He grabbed a bottle of mineral water from the fridge. Only the best water was for his mother, she couldn't stand impurities. 

He walked out of the shiny kitchen, his sock covered feet sliding over the slippery surface. He liked socks. Socks rocked his… well… socks. 

He got back into the room and set the Tylenol and the bottle of mineral water on the desk. He whispered, "Mother won't mind if you take a bottle of her mineral water for this." 

He gave her hair a playful rub and started for the door. He was halfway out of the room when she called out to him. "I love you Alex."

He blinked, and then smiled. Declarations of love were seldom heard from the cold mouth of Alexis. It wasn't that she didn't love him, it was that she couldn't put it in words. She had confessed to him once that she didn't know how to say it and hated the way the words rolled clumsily out of her mouth. 

"I love you, too, sis. Don't work yourself too hard." He shut the door quietly behind him, but not before he heard her voice call out, "I won't."

He had sauntered into the room they shared, the tiny, little room they shared. All it contained was a small twin bed, covered with an old green comforter; two ancient maple dressers; a weathered and crackling dark blue beanbag chair; and an old TV, propped up on a bookcase that held a can of Pepsi. 

He took a drink. It wasn't his, it was Alexis' and she hated it when he drank her Pepsi, but he could never help himself. The can was already half open from an hour ago, when Alexis had opened it while they were watching TV. It was flat, but it was still Pepsi. He took another deep swallow of it. She wouldn't mind. She always forgave him. He took a deep breath. That Pepsi had tasted kind of sweet. Must have been the fact that it had been sitting out for an hour. He smiled an looked around the room. He felt at peace. And rather tired. 

The room was small. He knew that. The room was full of junk. He knew that too. He didn't care. As long as everything did what it was supposed to do, he was happy. The other rooms in the house were much more elegantly furnished, like the study. His parents spared no expense on their lifestyles. They needed good rooms and expensive décor to keep their clients interested in coming back. They didn't really care what happened to their kids, as long as they were able to do a trick or two for their guests. 

He flung himself down onto the lumpy mattress and flicked on the TV. The bed felt comfy. The reality show from America was still on. He laughed a bit, mostly at the young girl who was still running around screaming, sure that the worms had somehow been mixed into her hair.

He yawned. He decided to take a nap. The day had been rather taxing. He stretched out on the bed and flicked the TV off. He fell asleep within minutes, without even bothering to change. He smiled subconsciously, images of shrieking American girls dancing beneath his lids. 

***~*~***~*~***~*~***~*~***~*~***~*~***

He came to a few hours later, awaked by… he wasn't sure by what. Perhaps it had been a bad dream? He couldn't be sure, but he had some odd memory of seventy foot tall hamburgers had been chasing him along the street, demanding that he show them the way to the ice cream truck. He yawned. 

Was that sad or what? 

He rolled over in the bed to see if Alexis was feeling any better. He blinked. Where was Alexis? There was no one else in the bed with him. Meaning… she had gone to the bathroom. He yawned. He would just wait for her to come back.

He looked at the alarm clock. 12:34. He had slept for a long time. He shut his eyes. He would go get her in oh… fifteen minutes if he had too. She always took forever anyway. He yawned again. 

Shutting his eyes, he leaned back against his pillow and took a deep breath. He would only shut his eyes for a minute. Just a minute…. Just a… Was that a hamburger he saw?

***~*~***~*~***~*~***~*~***~*~***~*~***

He awoke again, sweating this time, breathing hard. That had been one wicked nightmare. He'd have to lay off the hamburgers at school next time. He knew they gave him stomachaches, but oh, they were too good to resist. He yawned. What time was it? He glanced at the clock again. 2:13. 

'What the hell…' Where was Alexis? There was no way she could still be in the bathroom.  'Oh my god!' Maybe she was still in the study and had had a horrible headache and was now rolling around in pain? Or maybe she had a headache and had tried to get to the room and, and, and fallen! Or something else just as horrible! He looked around the dim room slowly. Could she be on the floor? Could she have gotten in that far and collapsed from exhaustion? He got up and switched on the light. 

There was a piece of paper on the floor. He sighed. It was probably just a note to tell him where she was and not to worry. Gees, he sure could get worked up over nothing. She was probably taking a midnight stroll through their mother's garden. Or perhaps she was taking a dip in the pool. He yawned, picked up the carefully folded note and lay down on the bed, a bemused smile curling about his face. He had some odd memory of shrieking American females… he shrugged it away and opened the note. 

His bemused smile washed away from his face rather soon. It was rather funny, if you were watching him, to see his smile flow away. At first, he was smiling, and then… tiny wrinkles showed up on his forehead. The corners of his smile drooped, slowly of course, as though his face was working in slow motion. His smile was soon gone, long before he finished reading the note. He froze and then you saw his eyes glaze over, focus on the ceiling. His breathing quickened. He swallowed, hard. The paper fluttered lifelessly to the floor.   
He shot upright. 'No,' he thought. 'Just a wicked bad joke. Oh, how Alexis would scream when he had his hands around her neck.' He got up and bit his lip. His eyes watered. 'No.' He had to find her. 

The note… where was the note? He felt calm. He knew it was the calm of disbelief. He would use it. He blinked. Ah, right, the note. He was on autopilot. He leaned over, picked up the note, and looked at it.

The study; of course… the study. She must have been planning it for a while. He turned off the light, opened the door. There was no point in waking up their parental units while he was searching for her… her…. Not her body, but her. He was looking for her. He walked out into the hallway, padded over the richly carpeted floor, made no noise that anyone could hear. His heart beat as he stood outside the study door. His hand encircled the knob. He didn't turn it. 

He turned around and walked into the kitchen. He took a bottle of mineral water from the fridge, opened it, drank it, spat it out, threw it down the sink, filled it up with tap water and stuck it back in the fridge. Put that in your pipe and smoke it, Ma.

He shuffled back to the study door, slowly. He put one hand on the knob; the other clutched the note. 

He turned the knob. The door opened. He didn't look inside. He stood there, staring at the door for a while. He took a deep breath. Counted to sixty. Said the English alphabet twice over. He still didn't go inside. He shut his eyes, opened the door all the way, pushed himself inside and shut the door behind him. His eyes were still shut. He didn't want to look. 

He opened his eyes. He saw Alexis' silhouette, still hunched over her work. 

"Alexis," he called. "Alexis, wake up!" He whispered to her, tried to wake her from a distance. It was of no use, and he knew it; Alexis was a heavy sleeper. He'd have to go up to her and shake her awake. He didn't want to. He didn't like any of this. 

He walked over to her inert body. It was still dark, but a small moonbeam was glowing on Alexis' back, making her seem ethereal. He poked her. "Alexis! This is so not funny!" He poked her back again. "Alexis!" His voice was a choked whisper. She wasn't moving. She didn't seem to be breathing. No…

"Alexis!" He spoke as loudly as he dared. "Wake up! This is so stupid! Stop it and wake –" He froze mid-sentence when he touched her neck. It was kind of cold. He bit his lip. No. 

Alex grasped her around the waist and pulled her out of the chair, down to the floor. He propped her in his lap, held onto her around her waist. She wasn't breathing. Her neck flopped onto his shoulder. He tightened his hold on her. No, she couldn't be dead. He took one of her hands in his and felt around her wrist for her pulse. Nothing. 

He turned slightly, made her lie across his lap, his arm cradling her neck, her waist over his knee. He looked at her face. It was covered in her hair. A moonbeam lay across it, causing her hair to shimmer. He pulled the hair away from her face. 

Oh. She was dead. He looked at her, the finality of her grim smile rising up in his mind. He didn't get it. She was… dead? What was death, really? He looked at her eyes. They were shut. Her lips were together, in a wicked little smile. He giggled. He never would have thought her to be one to smile on her own deathbed. But there she was, smiling. He recalled a few days ago when she had confessed to him that she would die with a smile on her face and she would die her way. He laid her on her back, the moonbeam playing on her features. 

He rose up from the floor and walked over to the desk. The note had said that more of them would be found there. He opened her math textbook. Ah ha. Notes galore! He smiled. She was so thoughtful. He saw a note with his name on it, another with Syaoran's name neatly handwritten over the envelope. He would have to put these somewhere safe. 

He started to straighten out the rest of the desk. It was filthy. She had never been much of a housekeeper. Neither had he, but at least he had tried… sometimes. His hand brushed the half empty bottle of Tylenol 3. Oh. He understood now. He saw the half finished bottle of mineral water. Ah. He understood that as well. He recalled the Pepsi he had drank before falling asleep. He had felt so sleepy. Of course, the note had explained. Sleeping pills in the cola of course. He smiled. She was so thoughtful, so nice. Had been so thoughtful, so nice. He took the two bottles and the notes and placed them in their room, under the mattress. Syaoran's he would give to him tomorrow, and his own, he would read before he left to be with Alexis. 

He took the blanket from their room and walked back to the study.  She was still there, lying ever so still, her hair fanned out about her head like a crown on the carpet. He smiled. Walked over to her. Sat down. Laid the blanket over the both of them. He held her in his arms and smiled. She was a pretty girl. He kissed her forehead. He looked at her forehead when he pulled away. It was wet. Another droplet hit her face. He looked up. There was no leak. He felt something wet on his face. He blinked. Ah. He was crying. He looked away from her. He hated it when she saw him cry. It made him feel weak. 

And then it hit him. She was never going to see him cry again. He stared out into space for a second, thinking about that thought. 'And why is that?' He felt confused. 'She's dead.' Oh. Right.

He looked at her hair and ran a hand through it. He buried his face into her hair and wept. He cried for a long time, long into the morning hours. He fell asleep for the third time that night. This time he was with Alexis, and yet, he wasn't… and he wouldn't ever be with her again. 

***~*~***~*~***~*~***~*~***~*~***~*~***

He had awoken to the noise of birds chirping. At first, he hadn't known why he was in the study or why Alexis was so cold. Then it hit him. He had to get her out of there. 

He carried her out of the room over his shoulder, dragging the blanket behind him. He didn't want to leave her alone. He looked at the clock in his room. It was 6:34. He laid her in the bed and tucked the blankets around her. He would have to tell his parents that she was deathly ill. Another headache. Not bothering her would be a good idea. 

He got dressed, put Syaoran's note in his bag. He looked at his own note and read it. Just in case there was something important that he had missed out on. Nope. But apparently, there was another note for him in her junk drawer. He would read it before he left to be with her. 

He kissed her forehead good-bye and walked out the bedroom door, making sure to close it behind him. 

***~*~***~*~***~*~***~*~***~*~***~*~***

"They believed you?" asked Syaoran from his perch in the tree. His voice was muffled. Having a bloody t-shirt held to your nose did that to you. 

"There was no reason not to." Alex's eyes were staring out at the horizon. "She had wicked bad headaches sometimes. They wanted to get our room soundproofed, 'cause she screamed so loud; but it didn't happen often enough for them to want to part with the money."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

They both carefully kept their eyes off of each other. Syao didn't know what to say. Neither did Alex. But they could mourn together.

"She was nice," said Syao.

"Yeah. She was the best twin any guy could have had."

"Yeah." 

They both sighed.

Suddenly… something clicked in Syao's mind. "Wait… you said… that you were going… that you were going to join her?" His mind wavered. What did he mean by that? Surely not…

"I think you know what I mean." The blonde-haired boy looked out into the horizon.

"But… you can't! You have to live! What about them being wrong?? You have to tell someone! You have to, have to save yourself!"

"What's the point of saving myself if there's no one to be happy with?"

"Life! You said it yourself, life is important! You're the ones that kept me from suicide! You can't just go back on your word and just, just, go off and kill yourself!"

"The hell I can't! Circumstances change Syaoran. Back then Alexis was still alive. But she's not now. Can't you understand? A twin can't survive without their counterpart. At least, I know I can't. There's no meaning to life. The only reason I lived was to keep her from dying. I would have gladly changed places with her, but I couldn't. And now look. She's dead. I've failed Syaoran. It was my job to keep her alive. And I failed." He looked out into the horizon again and Syaoran realized just how deeply Alexis and Alex's bond had run. They would have died to keep the other alive. And now that one of them had died, of their own hand… the other felt deserted. There was no reason to live now for Alex. His whole life he had been keeping Alexis alive. And now… she was gone.

"I don't think you failed. But I understand."

"Then you know how I feel." Alex's voice cracked with emotion, something it hadn't done for two years. "I can't go on like this. I have to go to her. She left me enough. I… I wrote you a note during class."

"Oh. Okay."

"I'm sorry Syao. I just can't go on like this. You understand. Don't you?"

"What about your parents?"

"What about them? They have money. They'll smooth it over. Don't worry about them Syao. It's you I'm worried about. Without me and Alexis…."

"I was just fine without the two of you. I'll be fine now."

"I see. Well… I'll… I'll give you the note after school. Both of them."

"'Kay." 

They went silent once more. The two teens quietly thought about suicide; two teens that no one cared for. The children on the ground had hit the other bird. It was dying… slowly… but dying nonetheless. Its wing was shattered. The other bird flew about in circles until it finally flew away, squealing with indignation as stones flew past it in the air. 

The bell rang.

***~*~***~*~***~*~***~*~***~*~***~*~***

The bell rang. 

Syaoran opened his eyes and saw that the class was quickly emptying. 'What? But I just…' He blinked, wiped a tear from his eye and looked at the clock. 11:25, time for lunch. Gee, time flew fast when you were thinking dark, depressing thoughts. 

He got up from his seat and shot Mr. Crackatowa a big smile and waved at him as he walked out the door. The large man waved back as he filled out emergency First Aid forms at his desk for Mia, the girl that had collapsed twice; Once when she heard Mr. Crackatowa's voice and again when she saw Mr. Crackatowa looming over her. Oh the horrors that must have been going through her mind. He shuddered. Those were bad horrible thoughts. She would probably need therapy. 

Syao walked out into the hallway. He could hear bits and pieces of conversation as he tried to figure out just in what direction his locker was in. Before he could digest it all, a large hand hit him on his shoulder. 

He looked back and up, apprehension dawning on his face and then quickly dissipating when he saw just who it was. 

"Mikey! I was just looking for you."

"Need some help finding your locker?"

"Yeah. Is it just me or is this place a maze?"

"It was once a prison. It was made this way so that if any of the prisoners escaped, they would get lost and not be able to find their way out of here. It's actually kind of cool."

Syao stared at Mikey's green eyes. "This place was a prison?"

"Yeah… well… you could call it a prison… it was more like an insane asylum for criminals that went insane."

Syao looked at Mikey in disbelief.

"What? You don't believe me?" He gave Syao a look of shock that would rival even his own carefully practiced gaze. He waved a finger in front of Syao's face. "You sir, did not read the orientation material did you?"

"Orientation material?"

"Yeah, they send a package of it down to your house. It's a bunch of nutty pamphlets talking about how wonderful this school really is. It's just stupid stuff. But I swear on Koshi that the bit about the prisoners is true."

"Koshi?"

"Yeah. He rocks. Sakura's mental about him." He looked around the hallway as though he had forgotten something. "Where's Sakura? Odd. Oh well. I'll just show you your locker. What number is it?" 

"Uh… that's a good question. One with many possible answers." Syao grinned sheepishly. "Umm… I think it's 2186… yeah… "

"You think?"

"Yeah."

" Do you remember anything being near it?"

"Well, umm… there was a poster for Student President…"

"Oh, that's good. Can you remember the name? The posters are divided into sections throughout the school. The candidates can only put their posters in their designated section. So, who was it?"

"Umm… I think it was… Nyaki Mitten. Or something like that… Or maybe it was Nyaka Kitten. Umm… or it could have been… Nyala Smitten…. Or…" he trailed off.

"Or it could have been Nyoko Mitsu?"

"Yeah! That too." He blinked. "That's a long ways away from Nyala Smitten."

"You're one funny guy Syao. C'mon, follow me. I know where her posters are. I helped put them up." Mikey led the way through the thick crowd, reminding Syao of the biblical fellow, what was his name, ah yes, Moses when he had parted the Red Sea. It had been Moses hadn't it? 

He blinked and followed Mikey's back to his locker. There were more important things to think about now. Like who on earth Koshi was!

***~*~***~*~***~*~***~*~***~*~***~*~***

THAT IS IT! WAHAHAHHAHAH! Gees that was long… ok… anyway… Nish-Nish says… REVIEW BEFORE I BITE YOU WITH MY SHINY NEW RETAINER! :D MWAHAHHAH! *does a wicked cool dance* I love this ficcy.. *huggles it to death* Meow… okay… umm… I'll go start on the next chappy now… I promise! I am… 

REVIEW OR BE BITTEN…. GRRRR….  [*loves starz*]

***~*~***~*~***~*~*[Reviews]*~*~***~*~***~*~***

Pomite: way to go to shove it in their faces ^_^

Darkangelkitty08: updating… now… okay… so it isn't soon… In fact… it's so not soon it's sad. 

Kikakai: yeah, Syao as a baby is so comical… stupid cow ^_^ 

angel of light and darkness: aloha V! *Does a dance* ok... umm... yes I thanked him for you ^_^ 

WezL: well, you don't have to wait nemore ^_^

coolcalico_girl2491: I just got elastics on my braces, sucks to be me… =_=; sucks… neways. Euh… rite, thanks for the suggestions ^_^ and the WINNING NAME…

Baby-Prue: Why didn't Sakura want to talk? Good question. You see… I'm not going to answer it… as I think it will be answered in this chapter. And Koshi, he's the guy in that comic Sakura was reading before… remember? Well, if you don't I suggest that you go back and read my other chapters… *forgets which chapter that's in* oh well ^_^ 

Cherry Jade: Wonder away! You will never figure out my plot! MWAHAHAHAH! *breaks into insane bouts of maniacal laughter* Um.. yeah ^_^

amber-eyez: blood = metallic… even though Teme sounds like a pretty good description of him… I doubt any self-respecting Japanese person would name their son fucker… ^_^

sexyvamp: Thank you. I love your name ^_^

PeachBerry: Sakura has mental driving skills that I will never acquire on my years on earth, no matter how hard I try. 

Emily: *hurries up and updates*

99j: AKU? O.o *looks around for an explanation… what does this AKU mean??? O.o *stays confused for a while and moves on to the next review*

Sakura Sayoran: I know… GO BRAIN CONVOS!

Sarah: ERIN ROCKS MY SOCKS! She is I… or a very exaggerated version of me.  :o You… love my story??? *Gets exceptionally teary-eyed* I feel special ^_^ gees, you just made my day!

Evil Emzo-chan: Oh yeah, you're special-full ^_^

cherrysakura5: oh ho ho ho ho, sorry about the brain convos, but they're here to stay! ^_^ You'll get a bit more S&S here… O.o or will you.. *thinks* I'm not so sure… I think it's mostly Um… nah, I don't think there's a lot in this chapter, but the next one for sure ^^

Coolcalico-girl2491: GO HAVING UR OWN ACCOUNT! Hey… you gave two reviews... kool… 

tracy-kin: gees girl, you've got one hyper-active imagination… JUST LIKE ME! ^______________________________________^; DANCE WITH ME! *Dances* 

Angel of Death: Sorry honey, but I've already got a number one fan, he's sitting in Uh... over there… to your left… yeah, that guy. Pomite… the one that reviewed about himself getting to see the last chapter before all of you guys… nice little feller ain't he?

Blood-Blossom-Mistress: Thanks for the praise! *feels all warm and fuzzy* ^_^ you also gave the winning name.

Ms. CherryStrawberry: I want to go to Mexico… 

Cinnamon-Sweet-Heart: yeah, school = the SUCK! How are Syao and Saku going to keep that bastard off their backs?  Good question… that I am unable to answer at this time. ^_^ Are Tomoyo and Mikey going find out that they live together?  Perhaps… It all depends on my mood ^_^ don't worry bout the questions, I kind of like them ^_^

Babybluestarangel: Updating… NOW! ^_^

I Glomp Bisounen: :O my greatness? What is this non-existent greatness you speak of??? Well… I had to make Syao and Saku endure him because like… dude… without showing that he's evil and like… well... all-powerful over them… there isn't really anything to the plot. It's essential to the plot… and umm… THANK YOU UBER MUCH! You just gave my ego the SUPER BOOST it needed… *is ready to conquer this chapter*


	8. Tony and the Druggies

Hey ya'll. Um… yeah. I know I haven't been here in ages. I've just been suffering from a few bouts of major stress and some other junk. Wanna hear about it? Well, just to summarize it all… one of my best friends is ignoring me [and she can do that FOREVER], finals are coming up, I fucked up in school, and I'm depressed. Gah… Well… on to my advertising.

You must listen to Seether f, Amy Lee's; Broken! It's INSANE! [**un**sane!] It's so awesome! You should also watch and listen to the new Linkin Park music video for Breaking the Habit. It's utterly awesome and it blows my mnd away. Breaking the Habit is so awesome!

Uh… yah… super off topic up there… if you want to hear more of my meaningless life, by all means, go check me out at Xanga! My name there is as it is here, Nishasha.

Ah, yah… I'm writing again. Woot, go me? Right? Yah, I'm right. Lol.

And now… to the reviews… Oh crud, btw, if you reviewed my other story, Wicked Heart, your review may have somehow gotten mixed in here. XX I'm really sorry for the mix up. Btw, does anyone know about Brian Joo? That Korean gasoo? Like, I'm not Korean [or even oriental] but I think his music is funky, and like… he's HOT… drool

But anyways, enough about him! Everyone who reviewed got an answer =] So lets all read our reviews!

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**Coolcalico-girl2491**: Look, I'm updating… =] woot! Go me… I think. Tehe.Mwahah… I got my braces off in March I think… XX iuno… Mia = the rox! I liked this chapter too! ; I don't like any of the others… they seem underdeveloped to me… XX but, I'm only 16 and when I do write, it's mostly only half-hearted. Sigh where is my inspiration? Thanks so much for the review.   
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Kikakai**: So long since I posted, or the chapter is so long? O.o Yah, but I feel sorry for Syao too! I hate Yukio, he's such a fucking jackass. He can't punch them b/c… I said so… Lol, it doesn't go with my plot right now. Yah, I'm adding in Sakura more in this chapter, I just thought you guys could deal with some background on Syao. Oh ho ho… make friends and junk? Cough May take a while. =] That's all I say for now. BTW, thanks UBER much for the review. Reviews make my day.   
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Collide**: Yeah, forever it does take. I never have enough time, and when I do, I either have no inspiration, don't have enough energy, am too busy being ordered around by my parental units, or I just plain forget about my fics. XX; Out of sight, out of mind is SO true for me. Gah, I have to stop that. Thanks for adding me to everything, I feel loved now =]. Muchos Gracias for the review =]   
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Cherry Jade**: Ahahahah… I want to be able to figure out my plot too! I have a rough outline though, so don't be scared. I know what to do for an epilogue, and I have a faint idea about the key things that are going to happen. But that's about it. ; Ahhahah… Where was I? I was at home. XX; I would never leave you guys in the dark! I love the LIGHT! 'cEpt if I'm going to die… then I'll run away; I'm not ready to die yet. == I still have to do my finals. Merci pour la… review =]   
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Orlandosangel** : Boring? I don't think so. Lol, but hey, you're allowed free thoughts, right? Uh… what I was writing before? That mindless fluff that makes me barf? Uh… yeah, I got out of the mood ; I couldn't help it. Remember, this is an angst/romance, not a romance/fluff. I know you want to see the fluff, but dude… this is my story… so I get to call the shots… MWAHAHAHHAHAHA.   
Uh.. yeah… I'm kind of sad that you didn't like the other "mumbo jumbo" as you put it. I actually worked kind of hard on that. ; Or did I? I can't remember. I actually thought that the first couple of chapters I wrote were a totally different style than what I am, they weren't how I wanted to write, they were how others [my friends] expected me to write. So now… I'm doing it my way. =) But don't worry! I'm not forsaking all fluff! I love fluff! Especially when it concerns that fluffy Sesshomaru from Inu-Yasha. It may be a while, but I'll try to give you a bit of fluff in here, I don't think it's going to happen in this chapter though. Thanks for the review.   
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cherrysakura5**: Thanks for thinking it was okay, and uh… yeah… it was long XX I nearly died trying to write it. Yup, the Alexis chick is dead. Just for all of your info, and those of you who didn't manage to get that, she killed herself from an overdose of Tylenol 3's. Those things are lethal man. Never take more than needed, or you'll get your stomach pumped. Oh, Alexis is also dead. He couldn't bear to live without his other half. 'Cause, like, all his life, his whole point in life was to keep Alexis alive. And then, when she died… he lost control and he just couldn't deal with anything anymore. So yah, he's dead now too. Yeah, I think it's pretty sad too. Thanks so much for the review. You don't know how much these things mean to me.   
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tracy-kin**: I know, I know, it's not my fault! I was just never in the mood. Gah, I've been rather depressed lately, it's making me go all weird. I'm amazed that I'm starting another chapter now. I thought I was going to just give up. But I didn't. =] Hurray for you, right? Ahaha, Mikey is cool! I like mikey. Lol, we should write a story together, an awesome one. Send me a story idea [not over the weekend, weekends my father never lets me on the computer] and I'll see if I can start attacking it. If you want to email me, or add me to MSN, just add killerofshadowshotmail.com. Thanks so much for the review (and the dancing. MEOW! Shake that thang!)   
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Kasiree**: Ahahaha… Your review reminds me of a weird joke my friends and I made. It's not rock anymore, that's so last century. And it's not you rock my socks anymore either. It's you stone my phone! =] Wicked cool, nyah? I think it is. Lol, but I'm weird, so I don't count. Fwah hahaha… yeah, it was uber long. XX Gah, I was all… out of energy when I finished. Yah, not a lot of reviewers are complaining about the length. =P My fic stones! You stone too! Thanks A TON for your review. You totally stoned my phone. =] tehe.   
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Angel Of Light and Darkness**: Yeah, I haven't talked to you in AGES BABY! Where have you been? Of course I remember you! Yeah, I got mine off.. MWAHAHAHH! Retainer power! What? Don't cry! Geez, you're like the second person to tell me you're crying. I have to lay off that deep powerful stuff. Hey, I happen to like sweating pigs… LOL. How soon do I think I'm going to have the next chapter? Pretty damn soon! Sooner if you just scroll down. =] And yeah, V was the nickname I gave you. Keep it fly, chickie! [I have no clue where that came from, so don't ask me XX] Thanks so much for the review, ya totally made my day.   
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Strawberrylover**: Ahahahha… thanks, I don't know about good, but I think this fic is okay. But by all means, go on and think it's really, really good! It makes me feel special. Hmm… how do I let you know when I update? Well… add me to author alert or something… ; I have nothing to do and all the time in the world to do it! I'm a busy woman [er, 16-year-olds count as women, right?] I like the plot here too. I like the fact that it's… well not more realistic, but more in the real world than most other fics. You're not weird; you're cool. I've heard a bunch of other people say the same thing to me already. Thanks so much for the review, you made me feel special.   
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PeachBerry**: Your heart goes out to them too? Yeah, so does everyone else's. Lol, yeah, sometimes I become one of those people who bug other people to update till they explode… but I always stop 'cause I get scared that other people will do that to me. Syaoran is thing to be loved! Love him! Lol. Aw, don't cry. Crying makes me sad. [DUH!] Yeah, anyways, thanks for the review. sigh If I could touch every person[not that way!!!! XX] like I did you, [I would not be a pervert] I'd be a happy author. Lol. Cherry Blossom: I agree with the wicked cool part. =] S&S? Dude, that's what this story is all ABOUT. Uh… but yeah, it may take a while to get it more integrated into the fic. It's not really my main concern at the moment. Right now, I just want CONFLICT! Or do I? Hmm… that's a point to ponder. Lol. Thanks ever so much for your review.   
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Syaoransbear**: OH MY DEAR LORD! DO you know how much I love you? I love your review, it made me go all… OMG! I INSPIRED SOMEONE! I MADE A DIFFERENCE [albeit a small one ;] BUT STILL! A DIFFERENCE! Yeah, I think it's hilarious and sad 'cause I just can't get my emotions straight. Lol. Ahha, I bet I just ruined your thoughts about me, eh? Lol, I'm just kidding. I kind of try to make it that way. Lol, you like my fics? I feel liked =]Life is different for all people. I was sick of all those fanfics where everything goes all dandy for Syao and Saku, I just had to… make something to satisfy my stupid longing for something more… real. And I guess this is real. ; Well, to me.   
I love how Syao and Sakura understand each other. I think that most people who are abused have an odd affinity for each other. It's easier to emphasize with your own "kind." Oh, I feel so special, I like, inspired someone. I do believe you write PPS seeing how PS stands for postscript. Braces = so not fun XX. I love dance! I love uber! I love FLUFFY! drool he's AWESOME. Oh, btw, I have a metal shield. MWAHAHHA. Take that!Thanks SO much for your review. I mean, really, thank you so much! I love it when people review me, I mean even if it's really stupid, or just something that came to you, or anything. I just love them. And, your review just made me feel all warm and happy and fuzzy and it gave me a total attack of WAFF [Warm And Fuzzy Feelings] and yeah. You're an awesome chica, stay alive, and remember: Tobacco is Whacko, Crack is Whack, but alcohol is still good for you! Lol, just kidding.   
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tokat**: That was totally what? "werid?" Does that mean weird? Oh well. It could be wired… right? Oh well, I'll deal with this type later. =] Thanks for taking the time to review me though. I appreciate it! [NO, I'm NOT being sarcastic ]   
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KawaiiBell**: You're welcome. It was my pleasure to update. And of course I'll continue it! I can't leave Saku and Syao with that baboon, Yukio!!! Thanks for reviewing!   
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WezL**: Glad you thought this was a nice chapter. But really, don't you think nice is a little generic? I mean, your cat is nice. Your grandma is nice. That guy selling drugs down the street is nice. Everything is nice when you get thinking about it. ; Sorry, I'm not putting down your review or anything, I'm just saying… nice = means anything. I shall update now though. =] And I shall keep up the great work… even though I don't think it's that good. I think it's actually pretty okay, though my grammar and spelling could use a LOT of help. XX I also need to work on my "style." XX Thanks so much for the review. Keep reading. =]   
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Botan and Kurama lover**: I'm glad you think so. And keeping up the good work is my job. Er… though I do believe it's only okay work. [see above review.] Thanks uberly much so for the review. =]   
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lil-beast-spirit**: Ack, you're like the third crying person I have! Dear lord, I've started an epidemic! Someone call the police! No, wait! Don't call the police! I'm too young to go to jail! Tehe… AHAHHAHA. Nice name. sigh Unfortunately, or rather, fortunately, my school doesn't have a teacher like that. My English teacher is a sweet, little, old lady who's really quite pleasant. Lol. Thanks for the review!   
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katana-chan**: Glad you found it to your liking. =] Aha, you're the first person to realize that mistake! Yeah, I used Avalon and Kinomoto. They're not two different people though, there's only one Sakura in my fic. Let's say this school is weird and uses two different last names for their students, b/c their government is whitewashed and wants everyone to seem more Caucasian. So, Avalon is her family's assigned last name that they were given. Uh… or, in place of that long explanation… Yeah, there are two; they're the same people, 'cause I said so. There, that's short, blunt, and to the point. Lol. Thanks for the review, and I'm sorry if I confused you. ; I have a tendency to do that.   
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Silver Wolf Gurl**: What? Which parts? I'll be happy to explain to you. WHAT? You didn't write them down? Egad woman, how shall I answer your questions NOW? ;; I bet you did this on purpose just to make me think over everything I wrote to see what I did wrong to make it confusing. Tell me what's messed up with it, so I can clear it up for you. ; Review again, and thanks for your review.   
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Alexa223**: Uh… what? You want me to make a story just like this… but have them switch spots? Gah, I can't. Sorry. But probably not for the reasons you think. So I better list them now… Erhm…   
1) I don't like the fact that you want me to reuse the same idea. I mean, I can make a NEW kind of story… but not with the same idea. I just can't. I feel it takes away from the original. XX  
2) I have no time. I have finals to think about, brother to think about, mother's broken face to think about, father coming home to think about, starting summer school [no I did not fail, I'm doing a grade 11 completion course; Socials] to think about, and then there's all my depressing brain moods.   
3) Uh… let me think… Yeah, I'm just not up for it. I don't like it how Syaoran is always the strong one willing to make sacrifices and all that junk, while Sakura just sits there and looks pretty. So I decided to make this.   
Despite everything I just listed, I will take your idea into consideration. Don't be too surprised if somewhere in the future, near or far, if you see a story like the one you want. I'm such a hypocrite. ==; I hate hypocrites. Gah… Well, thanks for the review though. ;   
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CherryStrawberry**: Woot, go Mexico! I don't want to get rid of you. ==; Sorry if the last chapter seemed rushed, but yah, it's a combo of exams, stress, sleeplessness, and my own stupidity that made it come out weird. My grades dropped pretty bad in second term, and I'm hoping they'll come back up, but I have no clue who I'm doing. ==; I won't forget my fans, I love you guys too much. You all make my day with these awesome reviews. Sometimes I think you guys are the only ones worth living for in this godforsaken time. I mean, here I am, namelessly making people happy. I like making people happy. I'm updating, don't worry. In fact, just skip the rest of this if you really want and go read. But make sure you come back and read the other reviews in case something interesting pops up. ; I always do that and most of the time, it saves me and the author time. Lol. Thanks so much for the review. Email me sometime. I think I wrote my email somewhere up there. Attack it.   
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Lily20**: Thanks for saying so. I think it's a pretty okay fic, but yah, what do I know? I'm just a stupid author. Lol. Update I shall… Thanks for taking the time to make me a review!   
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hi**: Right after I saw this review, I did just what you said. I hurried up and typed out a super long email to one of my best friends. =] Guess that wasn't the kind of typing you wanted me to do, eh? I didn't think so. Lol. Thanks for reviewing me. And thanks for saying it's very good.   
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Faraaa**: Keep it up I shall! grabs a ball and throws it in the air KEEP IT UP! KEEP IT UP! ; Tehe, I'm being a tad silly now aren't I? Ew, that's what my drama teacher says. Gross. Lol. Gracias [hope I spelled that right XX] for the review.   
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lil sakura**: I'm answering your plea! I'm updating! Not soon, but updating still! plasters a look of shock on her face What happens next? You expect me to ANSWER THAT? =0 The horror. Go read and find out. Lol. Merci for the review.   
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Awai-umi**: Tehe, I know you're going to hate me, but I'm going to make fun of your typos! Uh… yeah… ; I'm a SON!?!! Egad, when did that happen? looks down Hmm, doesn't seem to have happened yet. Thank god. Lol. Tehe, I'm just kidding. Anways, thanks for the review. =]   
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Arsinen**: Woot! I've enveloped someone! Where are my stamps??? Lol, just kidding. Oh, Koshi? =O you dear, were not paying attention when you read! Or else you would know that Koshi is the name of a well known [made up] comic book character. Aw, I had someone who killed themselves too. So sad. Blah… I don't want to talk about it… ON TO THE NEXT QUESTION! This is an angsty romance. Lol. Romance is the second genre so it'll take more time to develop. I can't really see it right now either, but I'm not wearing my glasses, so I don't count. Yah, but expect romance in later chaps, or this chap. I haven't read it yet. I'm answering these reviews first =P. pat pat I hope you feel better about your loved one [I love that phrase… "loved one" One whom you love…. I have many loved ones.]I liked the bird thing too. ; Thanks so much for this review. You're an awesome human. I love how you're so open about your past. Thanks again for reading.   
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Annoymous-spelt right:** Ahha! Nice… very nice… you've reviewed! WOOT! GO YOU![btw, its anonymous… ] 

And that's it for the reviews. If you have any questions, comments, or stupid thoughts, just send me a review. =] Reviews are my love, they keep me sane. Anywho, onto the part that you all love… the story…

* * *

"…" Speech

'…' Thoughts

[Egad… has anyone ever wondered why Mr. Clean looks like a pirate?] A/N's

Disclaimer: I own nothing but my will to live… =( Pretty sad no? I think I have $1.10 in my pocket though! I'm rich! Soon I'll have enough money to buy CCS! =) In my dreams… ==;

_I didn't beta this… just so you know… =)_

* * *

_Find Hope_

_Chapter Eight… Lunch…_

* * *

Sakura blinked. Thank god Mikey had agreed to phone Step-Papa for her. She yanked on her ear; there was goo on it. Goo not unlike what she had found on her ear earlier that day. Uh… weird. Oh gross. She shut her eyes tight for a second. She had saliva on her ear now. Bah, she'd have to tell Mikey to stop biting her ear. She giggled on the inside.

On the outside, she was a stony-faced female. Her blank features made her seem like she was sleepwalking or else stoned. Either way, most people thought they could step all over her.

She didn't like walking through the halls. She never had. The bad looks, the blatant ignoring, the hushed whispers, the whispers that were _just_ loud enough for her to hear; she wondered how much longer she could take it all.

She made her way to her locker, an invisible shield keeping people away from her. Everyone stayed a good foot or two away from her. Which was weird, since they should have been staying a good thirty to sixty centimetres away from her, since she was using metric in school. But, somehow, even with her imperceptible barrier, people managed to constantly bang into her and throw her off course; into a wall, into a desk, or worse, into a garbage can.

She sighed as she made her way uneasily to the bank of lockers in which her locker was located. A bright yellow paper was taped haphazardly onto it's front. Thick, black marker had scrawled, "Silent Bitch. SHE BITES!"

Shaking her head, she pulled the paper off the locker door, crumpled it, and threw it into a nearby wastebasket. Several people across the hallway snickered. They then began to "whisper" a few choice words about her to each other, not very quietly.

She yawned and spun her combination lock, leaning her head against the cool metal of the door. She wondered if they'd ever get tired of it. She was so tired of it. It was actually kind of boring. Every time she went to her locker, a new note would be posted. Usually the same thing as the last time. 'Oh, silent female dog that bites! Oh my god, I am so scared. Not.' She snorted and opened her locker door. Slamming her books into her locker, she got a few looks from students walking past who immediately exchanged their curious glances to dirty glares once they realized just who it was that they were looking at. They started to talk rather loudly about the kind of trash that the school was starting to collect. 'Jeebus, can't they just leave me alone for once?'

She pulled her frayed wallet out of her bag. It was a made to look like dark blue jean, but time had faded it down to a light blue. She pulled out a few dollar coins; there hadn't been enough time to make lunch that day.

She headed for a lonely corner of the school, aptly named the "Druggie Scene." There were a few vending machines situated there; they were the only ones that Sakura could get to without getting harassed. Since the few corridors that made up the "Druggie Scene" were out of the way and a part of the old wing of the school, the only people that used them were they kids who blazed… or did crack… or popped E… or smoked. The hallway in which they carved out their existence was their turf; only the druggie crew were allowed in and out safely. They had no pity for anyone that crossed their lines unwanted. They showed no mercy either; not even to unsuspecting grade 8's that were shoved there as dares.

The hallway was dimly lit it never really was bright, unless you came right after the monthly clean up. Being so out of the way, the janitors only came by to clean up or change the light fixtures every three or four weeks; the constant smell of pot would put anyone off. That was why the student vending machine operators only showed up long after school was over.

It was surprisingly neat in those corridors; it was even kind of beautiful, in a weird way… the fact that no one was there helped out. There was never any one in the first hallway leading into the "Druggie Scene." Nor in the second hallways leading into the main sections. No druggie would get close to the "norms" during their one break of freedom.

Not one of them would do anything openly in the main section of the school either; they weren't stupid. The fact that there was a "Druggie Scene" allowed in the school showed that the school was rather loose with its policies. If it didn't hurt the other students, let the students who are screwing over their own lives screw themselves over. That was their policy. The fact that many of the "Druggie Scene" "drug lords" (if one could be called a drug lord at such a young age) had parents on the school board that were able to bribe the school district leaders kept the "Druggie Scene" alive.

The banks of lockers were not the usual industrial grey that the usual lockers in the main section of the school were painted. These ones were mosaics of different graffiti styles, their painters each with a unique style, all depicting acts of violence to their "kind", their "druggie kind."

She let her eyes take in the many different murals. In one, wide-eyed children leaned against walls; their eyes as glazed as Krispy Kreme doughnuts, puffs of smoke disfiguring their slender figures. In another, adults, most likely teachers, held machine guns and stood atop a bloody mass of stereotypical crackheads.

Her hands running along the murals as she walked along, she made her way to the end of the hallway, not seeing a soul. They didn't like trouble, the "druggies," they really didn't. They didn't even go looking for trouble either; they knew they weren't wanted in the school, they were just too stoned to care. Sakura again pitied the many freshmen who would be pushed down this hallway and sent into the depths of the "Druggie Scene." The dopeheads didn't look for trouble, but if it came their way, they were more than happy to deal with it.

She came to a fork in her path; well, more like a trident, seeing how there were three paths. Which way to go, left, right, or straight ahead? Well, left of course, deeper into the labyrinth, which was her school; even though it felt more like her jail.

The pungent aroma of burning marijuana hit her quickly; she was getting closer. Soon she could hear the hollow sounds that came from being around smokers of pot; the laughs of the instantly high and joyous; the tears of the ones recovering from their instant highs; the grunts of people who were caught in fistfights brought on by their drugged state.

Sakura turned the corner, left again, and waited patiently for someone to greet her. You didn't enter the "Drug Scene" without an invitation; not if you wanted to live. Walking into the drug territory was like walking into a den of sleeping lions, you had to make sure you didn't step on any tails but you had to make sure you didn't get too into the scene, or you'd end up like then. She continued her silent reverie of comparisons as she leaned against the wall.

She let her eyes wander. She could see the vending machines waiting for here at the end of the hallway. There weren't a lot of people there in front of her. Most of them stayed to the right side of the "Drug Scene." They weren't really people people.

"What the hell?" A loud shout broke Sakura out of her thoughts. She looked ahead of her and focused on a young man with an electric blue Mohawk, Tony. His ears were pierced so many times they resembled Swiss cheese. He was one of the more outgoing crackheads; he actually spoke coherently. Er, well, most of the time he could. His eyes were glazed at the moment; he probably thought she was a hallucination or a mirage or something. She smiled at him and waved.

Tony got up slowly and began to walk to her, his eyes wide; the pupils dilated. He kept one shaky hand on the wall to keep his balance and the other stretched out to touch her. He took his time. His steps were small and deliberate; the steps of an entranced person. When he was right in front of her, his hand clamped down on her shoulder and he used it to fling himself onto her. She was leaning forward, already braced for the predictable movement. He looked down at her, into her eyes and gave her a weird look. His blank expression was replaced by a lopsided grin.

"I wasn't sure if it really was you…" he trailed off and looked off over her shoulder, still leaning against her. He gave her a hug and leaned down, hugging her tightly.

Suddenly, he let her go and fell to the ground with a thud. His head lolled back as he leaned against the wall. "Siddown." He started laughing and then stopped abruptly. She obliged him and sat down next to him. She wasn't in a hurry. There was nothing to do today; it was the same as any other day. She wished she could stay down in the "Druggie Scene" all the time, but she knew she couldn't; you couldn't stay with the druggies for long without becoming one of them. She was already pretty bad off; she didn't need things to get any worse.

Tony's head swivelled to her face. "What are you doing here?" he asked. A tiny smile played on his lips.

"I just wanted to visit you!" She flashed him a huge smile. "I never see you guys any more!" She gave his head a loving rub. "The fact that I'm ravenous and the only vending machine I can get to without being stared at is down here has _nothing_ to do with it." She grinned at him again. Tony was actually a very nice person. Sure, he did some pretty creepy things, but he wouldn't do anything to her. She recalled one time, back when she was just a freshman, when he had enlightened her with what he had done over the weekend; he had helped sew a guy's lips shut with a kebab skewer since the guy just couldn't seem to keep his mouth shut. She had wanted to cry, but he has been laughing his ass off, stoned as usual.

He stared at her for a minute, and after a while, she wondered if he had forgotten that she had said something, or even the fact that she was in front of him. She put a hand to his shoulder; when he looked up, she had to fight against the intense urge to hug him. He looked so lost and forlorn, just sitting there, with his wide grey eyes.

He clasped both her hands in his and continued to look straight into her sparkling green eyes before speaking. "Sakura?" he asked, his tone despondent.

Her heart went out to him. Never before had she felt so empathetic towards him. Sure, there had been times, when in a drugged stupor, he had wept and told her things he had done that she didn't want to know, but right at that moment, he seemed so dejected. Her eyes watered, "Yeah Tony?" she asked.

"Go." He paused; his voice was rather raspy. "Get your food and leave. I don't want you here anymore." He looked away from her as he spoke.

"What do you mean?" asked Saku. Why was he saying that?

"I've done so much to hurt so many people." He leaned his head back against the wall, still looking away from Sakura. "I've seen people hurting and done nothing. I've laughed at others' pain. I've done so much, Sakura… so much."

"What are you talking about?" She patted his hand. "It's all right, Tony," she consoled him. "You know what you did is wrong. You know that now. You can't change the past."

"But I can change the future." He looked at her again, his grey eyes swirling with a mass of emotions. "Leave us Sakura. Leave us to our drugs. This isn't a place for you."

"I know that," she replied. She smiled, "You don't have to worry about me, Tony. I know that drugs aren't the answer."

"You say that now, but you don't really know." He looked around to everyone gathered in the small hallway. He swept his free hand around. "Look at these people, Sakura. Tell me that they don't know that drugs are bad. Tell me that they don't know that they're killing themselves. Tell me that they don't know that they're throwing away their lives. You know they do. I know they know too."

"But they know they can get help."

"But do they really want it?"

Sakura paused. She didn't like it when Tony got like this. She wondered if someone had put strychnine in his cocaine. She hoped not. He was so psychological, so deep-thinking when he got too high off the wrong things. He thought heavy thoughts, things that should only be thought by psychiatrists, or people who did psychoanalyses. "Of course they do. Don't think about these things, Tony. It's not good for you."

"If I don't think about it, who will?" His voice seemed to echo in that hallway. Suddenly, the whole setting seemed surreal. Who was going to think about it if he didn't?

"We all know that drugs are bad for us. We all know what their side effects are. We all know how to get help. We can all walk into a clinic and get help. So many people say we need help. So many people say we want help. Help is easy to find. But we don't want help. We want to do this. We want to waste our lives getting high. What would we do if we didn't?

"There would be nothing to do. We could sit at home and listen to our TVs blather away about nothing that concerns us." He pointed to a sweet looking girl with brown hair and eyes, a vacant expression on her face. "We could be like her and listen to our parents yell to each other about nothing, or at ourselves. We could be like Bill and go home to a jackass whose only goal in life is to beat up his kid. Or we could be like me."

His voice cracked. He never liked talking about his family. "We could go to my house where my parents exist, where the only thing that matters is making money. Where I don't matter a bit. Where I can't be thought about. Even if I fail a course, somehow, somewhere, someone's bribed so I can pass. Even if I ask for thousand dollars to buy drugs, I'm given it. Even if I break into houses, I'm okay. Even if I go to jail, I'm bailed out. But if I ask for a little love, they give me strange looks. I live in a loveless house, Sakura. It's full of life, but no one lives there. We just exist." He got back to the topic at hand. " We could sit at home, but we don't. We don't want to do that. And now you know why.

"We can't go outside either. There're too many people out there that don't want us there. It's so much more easier to just blend in here." He put his hands out. "Here, we're all the same. We're all in the same boat. We're all going to get bad grades, all going to get beat up, all going to go on welfare, all going to get stoned."

He looked to her, an easy smile playing on his lips. "We are who we want to be, Sakura. We want to be this way. It's so much easier to be mad at the world if you have a reason. We could all go to rehab, all get nice clothes, all act like bitchy whores and two-time everyone we see, and then we'd fit it! But is it really worth it?"

She broke into his review of life. "We're not all like that."

"You're not." He looked into her eyes, "when I first saw you, I knew you weren't. You were different."

"I was like you."

"No, you were different." He swung his gaze away from her. "You were different."

* * *

"What the fuck!"

Sakura fell to the ground, as did the male who has just crashed into her.

"OUCH!" Her bottle green eyes filled with tears as she realized that her fall had caused her jeans to rip and her knee to bleed. She bit her lip to keep from crying and began to get up, brushing off her jeans in the process.

It was her second day of high school and she was already regarded as an outcast. The people from her elementary had passed on the rumours of her past to all of the groups. The preps wouldn't study with her, the cheerleaders wouldn't talk to her, the sluts wouldn't lend her make-up, the jocks called out lurid comments to her as she walked past, and even the other outcasts wouldn't make space for her at their lunch table.

It was even worse than at elementary; at least, over there, she had been able to help out the teachers with the kindergarteners at lunch. The kindergarteners hadn't cared if the rest of the school said that she was a teenage prostitute. They didn't even know what two times three was, let alone what a prostitute did. They had just been happy to have her around.

She had eaten her lunch outside on the first day, and had just finished it for the second. 'Great,' she thought, 'another group to hate me.' She took in the person she had collided with. A mess of a lime green Mohawk smothered his head, tons of silver jewellery adorned his slender neck and wrists, while a white muscle tee shirt covered most of his tattoos, though a few were peeking out on the sides of his arms, his pants were swathed in baggy black pants with chains attached. His buddy, who seemed to find the fact that they were both lying on the ground hilarious, was doubled over laughing, his shock of black hair flapping up and down. All she could remember of him now was that he was short and stout while the person she had bumped into was tall and slender.

She got up fully and gave her hand out to the fallen male. He took it slowly, his eyes staring into hers. When she pulled on him, he let her go and watched her start to topple backwards, but catch her balance. She looked at him with wide eyes. Was he just messing with her?

His comrade watched as she put out her hand again to help his fallen buddy. The green-haired youth pulled her down that time, making her fall straight onto his chest. He laughed as the girl's eyes went wide and her cheeks went pink. His eyes were widely dilated, as were his friend's.

A group of giggling cheerleaders came out and snarled when they caught a glimpse of the scene in front of them. It suddenly came to Sakura's attention that the two of them were in a rather controversial position. Her cheeks aflame, she stood up once more, and again put her hand out.

A high-pitched voice called out, "Don't touch her! She has AIDS!"

Sakura's hand shot back to her side. Her cheeks blazed even more than before. She hated those rumours.

"Yeah! And HIV!" called out yet another. "EW!"

The male on the floor lay back and cocked his head at her. "Do you have AIDS?" His buddy, seeming to think this was the funniest conversation ever, doubled over yet again in laughter.

She shook her head.

He smiled at her, glancing at her hand, "I can't tell if you're really stupid or if you're really nice.

She remained frozen, her lips shut. She had learned early on that if she didn't open her mouth, it was easier to keep from crying. That was what had earned her the name of "Silent Slut Sakura" at elementary.

He tilted his head again. "You were supposed to answer there. Which one are you, really nice or really stupid?" He waited for an answer.

Sakura stood there, silent while he looked on.

"DUDE! She's like, not going to answer you!" yelled a cheerleader, yet again.

"Yeah, that's, like, "Silent Slut Sakura" you're talking to!"

He swung his head towards them. "Is it now?"

They nodded their heads energetically. "Like, YEAH! The whole school knows! Where have _you_ been?"

He put his gaze back on Sakura, who remained still, her head bowed. "Skipping."

The cheerleaders turned to each other in disgust. "Like, WHY?"

"Like, I know! It was, like, the first day!"

"I know," came his easy reply. He watched as the cheerleaders huffed away, insulted for some reason.

He gazed blatantly at Sakura, taking her in. "Is it true? Your name?"

Her voice came out softly, "Sort of…" She fingered the hem of her denim skirt.

"What do you mean sort of?" He gave her an odd look. "It's either your name or it's not."

"It's part of my name…" She trailed off and looked at him. She realized that he was still looking at her and looked to her army boots.

"Part of your name? Which part?"

"Sakura."

"Sakura?"

"Yeah…"

"Dude!" came a voice from his side. "Get up!" His friend stood uneasy on her feet. He swayed; it was like he was on a small boat on high waves rather than solid ground. "We have to go. This chick, she's a SLOOT! She's that bitch we've been hearing about lately. Leggo! She's going to trash your image!"

The guy, who was still lying on the floor, looked up to his friend. "Are you sure about that? I think it's trashed enough. She doesn't seem like such a bad chick. Look at her eyes; they're so cute. And listen to her voice, it's so soothing." He smiled to Sakura, "You're okay, kid."

"She's so not okay! You know what they say, the more innocent they look, the bigger the whore they really are." He continued to sway and moved his feet around, trying to get his balance.

"Her voice is cute, though," he said as an afterthought, his mouth curving into a grin. "I wonder how it would sound screaming while I fucked her?"

He laughed and directed his attention to Sakura. "How much you cost darrrrrrrrrr-ling?" He started over to Sakura, using a tree to keep himself steady. His hand reached out for Sakura and she backed away uncertainly. The urge to run away was strong, but she knew she couldn't outrun him; if she tried to get away, he'd go after her, catch her, and then do things she didn't want to think about. His hand reached out for her cheek and she moved back yet again, her face still red, a few tears trailing down, even though she didn't want to cry. "How much for a night?" he drawled out. His lewd smile distorted his face, his eyes shining with lust and an odd emptiness caused by his drugged state.

He took another step but then his eyes went wide and he fell down in front of her. Sakura shrieked in surprise, her eyes open wide. The male that had been lying on the grass had smacked the insides of his knees. He looked back to the youth and instantly wished he hadn't as he socked him in the nose, causing it to bleed and he himself to become knocked out. He lay on the ground, his nose gushing red.

Sakura took in a deep breath and sat down on the ground, her hands immediately to the bleeding male's throat, checking for a pulse. She licked her lips and ripped a bit of the bleeding male's shirt off to staunch the flow. Lips pressed together, a concerned look on her face, she held the strip of cloth to his face.

"You're both." A voice startled her out of her thoughts and caused her to let go of the cloth. The first male had spoken, answering his own question.

She gave him an inquisitive glance. "What?" she asked.

"You're stupid," he said, "and too nice for your own good. You should have left when he fell down. You should have turned around and ran away like any other person." He gave her an odd look, "Why didn't you?"

She shrugged her shoulders and got up slowly. Was he trying to tell her to get away now? She held her hand out to him yet again, bracing herself in case he tried to pull her down again.

He didn't. He took her hand and pulled himself up. "Come on," he said, "let's go to my hallway." He held his hand out to her.

She looked down at the bleeding male. He appeared to be asleep. Her expression seemed to say, 'What about him?'

He looked down at his friend. "What about him?" He laughed at her shocked face. "You don't talk much do you?" He chuckled again when she shook her head. "Why not?"

She shrugged and looked down to the ground.

"There's got to be a reason." He leaned against the tree. "Tell me," he continued, "I want to know."

'You and the rest of those freaks,' she thought. She looked to the sky as she thought of how to answer the question. She licked her lips before she answered, "It's easier this way."

"What's easier?"

"Life?"

"You answered my question with a question."

She gave him an odd look and shrugged her shoulders. 'Gah, can't this guy get off my case? Go home, get high, go ditch school again! Do something!'

"I like you kid, you make me laugh." He began to walk into the school. "Come Sakura, I can show you off to my people." He laughed again. He walked a few more steps before he realized she wasn't behind him. He turned and spoke, "What's wrong now?"

She pointed to the bleeding male.

He gave her a look. "What about him?"

She looked at him, amazed. "He's bleeding."

"So?" He shrugged. "It'll clot in a minute. C'mon, let's go."

"But…" She trailed off, trying to think of something to say. "What happens when he wakes up? We're going to get in shit."

"He won't remember a thing. Besides, he tripped and hit his nose. What's that got to do with us?"

Sakura blinked. "What?"

"He tripped and fell. End of story. Nothing happened, darling. C'mon Sakura Blossom, let's go meet my people. I think you'll like them."

She continued to stare at him, her eyes wide and perplexed.

He rolled his eyes and took her arm. "I see that you don't take drugs." He began to walk towards the school again and began to explain. "When he wakes up, he ain't going to remember a thing. I think I gave him a concussion," he added thoughtfully. "When he sees you next, he's going to think you're vaguely familiar, but other than that, na da, he'll have no recollection of you whatsoever. That's some pretty fucked up shit I gave him." He laughed again, "That loser. He takes whatever I give him."

He paused on their way in and gave Sakura a stern look. "Don't take a thing anyone down there gives you, k? Not one, 'cause once you try it, and you get addicted, you'll find out that you'll kill for it."

* * *

"Am I still different?"

"Depends on how you think," he said as he stretched. "You do, 'cause you still don't belong."

"I do so belong. I belong here just as much as you do."

"No, I belong here; you don't." He placed his arms out. "I belong here, with my friends, with my people. Because these are my people." He looked to her, his eyes calling for hers. "Where are your people?"

"I have no people. I have you, I have Mikey, and I have Tomoyo, too."

He laughed and sat up straighter. "You don't have me. You don't belong here. And you won't; I'll make sure of it." He stretched. "You belong out there, out with the posers, with the brats, with all of those mainstream kids. You don't belong here."

"How can you tell?" The stoned Tony was making her mad. "I don't belong out there! They won't let me belong! I have to come down here to get my food so kids won't make fun of me. Tell me that that's belonging." His reasoning made no sense. She hated it when she talked to him when he was stoned. She couldn't stand the things he said sometimes, but she couldn't hold it against him because it was the drugs talking, not him.

"I belong here, because when I'm me, I act like these people. You're never you. You've never been you." He looked at her. "You don't belong where you're supposed to belong because you're not true to yourself."

Sakura looked at him in disbelief. Of all the stupid things he had said, this was the worst. She wasn't true to herself? Of course she was!

His loud laughing broke her thoughts. "I sound like a Disney movie! Hey guys!" He called out to the rest of the hallway's inhabitants. "I belong in a Disney MOVIE! BE TRUE TO YOURSELF!" His voice echoed in the corridor and was greeted by half-hearted cheers.

He continued to laugh as Sakura glared at him. "I am true to myself."

"Oh yeah," he said, laughing, "acting like a mute and pretending to be stupid is so being yourself!"

Sakura bit her lip. This day was just not going for her. "What are you saying Tony? You know why I don't talk to people. They're not worth it."

He looked at her confused and dropped her hands, seemingly bewildered. He must have zoned out. "What?" he asked her.

She shook her head. "Nothing, Tony, nothing. Can I go get my food now?"

He looked at her, and nodded his head. "Yeah, go get your food. Leave fast. It's no good for you here. I should have known that in the beginning." He stared down at the floor. "I should have known that." His fingers began to trace odd patterns on the linoleum.

She bit her lip and patted his head. It was so hard to be near him sometimes. She patted his head lovingly and began to walk down to the vending machines. She would think about that later, when she had more time. Right now, she was hungry.

The trip to the vending machines seemed to be deceivingly short; it wasn't really, not in reality. In reality, you couldn't just walk down the hall. You had to sidestep all of the distractions and keep out of the fistfights.

She trod carefully around two guys who were half-heartedly pummelling each other. Most of their punches met air; she noticed the heavy stench of cannabis emanating from them, that probably had something to do with their lack of precision. A ragged line of stoned students leaning a wall commented upon the occasional punches that managed to hit flesh.

She bypassed others just as carefully. Sidestepping a few sleeping bodies, she revelled at the fact that they were able to sleep so peacefully in school, with fistfights going on right next to them and people cheering loudly to their right. This was probably the only time they got to sleep. They probably stayed up all night at their homes to keep on guard from their parents, siblings, ex-lovers, pimps, and various other people. Tony had given her much information about the way of the druggies. Many used school as a time to slack off and sleep.

They all seemed so peaceful as they slept; so much more peaceful and younger than when they were awake. She walked past a couple, making out. She had noticed that everyone seemed younger as they slept. Softer too. You couldn't be tough while you slept. She walked sideways by a group of people dancing to songs that only they could hear. You had to be tough while you were awake to survive. Sleep was the only time you could be soft.

Ah ha! The vending machine! Oh glory… what to choose from this mammoth monster? She eyed her selection through the Plexiglas cover. Hmm, what to buy; an Oh Henry or a Snickers; Jalapeno or BBQ? She contemplated over her options for a while and decided to go for a drink first instead.

The assortment in the drink machine was more varied but she had a general idea as to what she wanted. Did she want something healthy? There was water and several types of juice in the machine. Nah, she wanted a sugar rush that only soft drinks could give her. Perhaps she should buy one of the many flavours of iced teas? Nope, they were still much too healthy. Ah… Citrus flavoured soft drinks? Those were full of the empty calories she loved. Nah, they seemed too healthy as well… I mean… anything with lemons must have SOME kind of nutritional value. What about cola? Nah, she wasn't in a Pepsi or a Coca-Cola mood. Oh, look there, root beer; that was just the thing she needed.

She inserted her dollar coin into the designated slot and looked down at the row of buttons. Where'd it go? She caught sight of it; it was wedged between a Pepsi and Dr. Pepper button. Hmm… Dr. Pepper. She wondered what exactly was _in_ Dr. Pepper. On the few times that she had let that particular liquid grace her lips, she had thought about it in great detail. It had seemed to taste like a multitude of things; it was an odd mixture of cherries, cola, mint, and root beer. She contemplated for a moment; did she want a Dr. Pepper in place of her root beer? Nah, root beer was the way to go. She punched the root beer button and picked up her can.

Tapping the top of her can lightly so as to quell any bubbles, she moved again to the food machine. Now, what to get, Jalapeno or BBQ? Definitely BBQ, it just tasted so much better than those hot peppers; she had never been one for spicy foods anyway. She shoved another dollar into the customary slot found on all vending machines. She punched in C5 and the bag of chips fell down. She bent over and picked it up.

Now, for the main course… What to choose, Snickers or Oh Henry? She thought for a moment and decided on Snickers. She popped yet another dollar into the machine and pressed the button for E6. She watched as the shiny metal corkscrew uncurled to let go of her chocolate. She stretched for a bit and then waited for the usual clunking noise associated with falling food items; it didn't come. She looked to the machine with wide eyes, her expression quickly becoming cross. The silver corkscrew had frozen halfway; her Snickers was stuck in the machine.

She groaned and leaned against the machine, her forehead to the cold Plexiglas. She hated it when that happened. Whenever the machines caught your food in their solid grasp, you had to go to the student store and ask them to take it out for you. While you did this, someone else would go to your vending machine and press the same selection you did and get two items for the price of one. That way, when you got back to the machine, the store clerk would yell at you for being stupid and stealing from the school. Everyone always went to the vending machines in groups of two or more for this reason. But, of course, no one would go with Sakura.

Her hand smashed against the see-through barrier. It seemed like nothing kept her from her food, but it was there. It reminded her of the odd barrier that kept the other children away from her. She stared forlornly at her Snickers; she really was hungry.

A voice from behind her caused her to jump. "Want some help?"

She looked behind her to someone with purple streaks running through his hair. His pupils weren't dilated so she knew he probably wasn't stoned. She nodded her head at him; she needed her Snickers.

The guy took a ring of keys from his pocket and shoved one of them into the key slot of the machine. The Plexiglas cover swung open and he handed Sakura her Snickers. He swung the Plexiglas shut and locked the door.

Sakura looked at him in wonder and he laughed. Running a hand through his hair, he spoke, "I guess I don't look like I'm part of the student store, huh?" She shook her head and he continued to chuckle. "Yeah, well… I got duplicates of their keys and kind of… run the machine now." He gave her a lazy grin. "I'm not a thief. I just keep it running smoothly." He whispered to her confidentially, "I'm thinking about adding a new row just for weed. I'd get ninety percent of the profits, but still, it's a bargain for the school. I'm giving the proposal to the school tomorrow."

She smiled at him and waved goodbye. He waved back and sat down by his post at the side of the vending machine. She hadn't even noticed him being there. She shook her head, she was getting soft now, she had to keep her eyes sharp.

She walked down past the jumble of people dancing, past the couple making out, past the sleeping bodies, past the broken down fistfight, which had now broken up into a bunch of arm-wrestling fights. She turned the corner, but not before catching sight of Tony smoking a joint; he was surrounded by females and males alike, all of them inhaling deeply. She caught his eye and waved her food at him. He stared blankly through her and blew a ring of smoke out through his lips. She smiled down to herself and continued her way down through the halls.

Now, it was time to eat her lunch. She walked out a side exit to the back of the school and entered the odd grassy plain where she had first met Tony and his bleeding comrade.

She made her way to a hollowed out stump and took in the scene all around her. It was dark, dreary, and frightfully cold. She shivered and opened her bag of chips. A bird called and the wind swept through the field. She was alone again, like always; no one else would eat lunch out there with her. Not today, on such a freezing afternoon.

She popped a chip into her mouth, thought, 'This was where I belong,' and continued to chew, waiting for the lunch bell.

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So, what do you think? I know it's short, but that's all I can do in a week. I just had my French final today, and I had a brain wave, so I just finished typing up this thing. Gah… review me and I'll be really happy and start my next chapter super soon. I might have it up in two weeks if you're really lucky. I still have school on Monday and Tuesday, which is fucked, and then three days of finals. Isn't that messed? It is. =) Just nod and smile people; nod, smile, and review, that'll keep me happy.

Ciao darlings, remember to review or I shall bite your heads off with my super SNAZZY retainer!


	9. Let's Compare

Okay, here I am. I'm so sorry for making you all wait for so long! Oh my god, I just never had any time to do anything [I know, I know, what could be more important that fics?] Well, a lot of things took up my time. First off, evil school and finals took up all my time. Then up came summer school which totally screwed me over. And all the while, Naruto took over my life. I became a Naruto addict. Oh my goodness, I'm still reading the manga, I'm almost done, I suggest that you should all go out and read it too. And fall in love with Kakashi, because he's beautiful. I've written two fics so far about it because I am madly in love with Naruto. So... go check them out before I die.

Here's a list of people who reviewed. Anyone who said something super snazzy gets a reply. I have to give special props to **Rebellious-Cherry** for being such a wonderful reviewer. I love you **Rebellious-Cherry**! You rock my socks! You stone my phone! You boulder my shoulder!

I hope this chapter meets all of my readers' expectations. That's all I can hope for. Remember, you can add me to MSN and we can talk about... stuff. =P

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**[Reviews]**

**Sam-the-Ham, Superboy4444, Awai-Umi, WezL, StrawBerryJunkie;Nobody's Here, AnimeAngel41, Strawberrylover, anonymous, Baby-Prue, lilc, AnnieS23, Only Sakura, Sango640, fallen-spirit, Kura-chan, sakura.cherryblossom.kinomoto, zeddy222, **and** Angel Of Darkness.**

**KawaiiBell:** Thank you for such a super duper long review, and I'm super glad that you liked the comments at the end. And yes, I did pass my French final! Woot, go me. I think I got a B. And no, I don't think having a final on Humanities would be fun. X.X Anywho, I'm glad you look forward to this chapter.

**cherrysakura5:** I'm a big fan of Tony too. He's such an awesome character. And yes... high he was. Oh ho, but I haven't "been there" nor "done that." Yet.... LoL, I'm such a bad role model. Anywho, I'm glad you think it's cool.

**tracy-kin:** Ah, Tracy. Hello again. That's right, put away that spiky axe of yours. School is stressing... b/c now I'm in SUMMER SCHOOL! Well, I was... Oh yeah, go Social Studies 11. It was frickin' scary. One textbook every two weeks. I love CCS fanfictions. I know, sometimes it feels like the fanfictions are messed up, but if you take the time to look, you'll notice that there are a bunch of good authors out there. They're just hard to find. –dances- I like dancing... WOOT! M&M with SMILEY FACE? Oh yeah, I can totally feel the love. =]

**Cherry Jade:** Woot, glad you think it's a great chapter. And yes, I do have a retainer. And guess what! I have cavities! X.X The next time I go to the dentist, I'm getting **drilled**. Oh the horror of it all... Tony is very strange... but he's snazzy. How could I not put Syaoran in this chapter? Why, that was easy! Like this... -doesn't put Syao in the chapter- TA DA! See how easy that was? LoL. Don't worry, there'll be lots of Syaoran in this chapter. I think... I haven't written it yet. =P

**lil sakura:** I'm sorry that you found it so confusing. I'll try to give you hints as to who's talking this time. I'm glad you still like it.

**Arsinen:** I'm glad that you like this. Yeah, it's supposed to be depressing, it's just that, I spent so much time trying to show Syaoran's past, that I felt that I totally overlooked Sakura's. I had to stick that in to show how she met Tony and how she does have some sort of friends but she isn't really accepted on either side of the social barrier. She's an outcast among outcasts. I'm glad you like the plotline. I hope I can figure out what's going on in the next chapter. =P

**Coolcalico-girl12491:** Yay, thanks for saying I have a great chapter and I'm glad that you loved it. I totally love Tony and the vending machine guy. Vending machine man is awesome. =] He makes me laugh so much in real life, 'cause he's based off someone I know. Yep, retainers are awesome. Yep, half-hearted writing are I. I'm such a bad person, constantly making wonderful (or so I hope) fanfiction that I can't keep up with. I think that **Unusual Job; Unusual Find** will be the last one I try to make for a while now. But no... it's not. I made like, two more after that. I think eight stories is more than enough to keep me busy. In fact, they might make me swamped. Woot, if it gets published, I want to see! Send me a free copy, b/c... you love me. And no, you don't blather, I love your reviews =P

**Rebellious-Cherry:** That's the first time anyone has called any of my stories amusing and breathtaking. Breathtaking... it sounds so snazzy... LoL. I'm glad that the story made you laugh, that's a wonderful thing. Oh my god, I'm so glad that you're reviewing each chapter separately, that means a lot to me. Yeah, and cute was the way that I was going for in the second chapter.

Yeah, I'm super scared of rape too. It's one of the worst things that go on within our society and I find it sickening and wrong. And yet I write about it. How odd, no? Just think about the "Super Free" club fiasco in Japan. It's getting lots of publicity but the sentencing for the people involved in it is just messed up. Oh, the "Super Free" Club fiasco, in case you haven't heard about it, is a club near Waseda University in Waseda, Japan. The club owners got tons of young college chicks to hang out at the club. In the club, they were worked up to a frenzy in an odd cult-like way. Then groups were chosen and taken to special "VIP" zones and given alcohol, 94% vodka, and challenged to drinking games. Once the females were sufficiently drunk, young men would pay to have a go at them. That just sickened me. I mean, seriously... STOP IT. You know how many months they got in jail, those evil ringleaders? [Note, I say MONTHS, not years.] They got 30 months or so. THIRTY MONTHS. –is outraged- That's less than half the amount of time you get if you steal someone else's property. What does this tell you about the Japanese regards for the rights of a female? –shudder- Another reason why we should watch the news.

If I got a chance to sleep, [sleep, not have sex with] Syao, I'd take it. . That would make me super duper happy. The fifth chapter was kind of mushy =P

I love Sakura's sense of style. If I could, then I would dress like her all the time. Gah, damn these parental units and their horrible, horrible restrictions. Cows... Amagash, they have the most insane restrictions. I swear, if they knew half of the stuff that I know now, they'd kick my ass all the way to Timbuktu and disown me. Gah...

YOU CRIED? =O I made someone cry... I feel so special. I have the ability to grab people's [or at least, one person's] emotions and squeeze out tears. WOOT!

I want to take the time to especially thank you, yet again. I love your reviews and hope that you keep reviewing me.

**PeachBerry:** I am happy. . Sakura is a wonderful vending machine klutz. Just like me. X.X My noodles keep getting stuck in the machine! Eep! It's evil. I love Tony, I doubt I'll kill him. The thought never ever crossed my mind... until now... And thanks for visiting my Xanga. =]

**V/Morgan/Angel of L and D:** HI! How are you? I'm awesome. LoL. Tony is a pretty good guy, and yeah, he reminds me of a friend I have. Braces are off already? WHOAT! Go braces good-bye and happy really, really, really, really belated b-day. My birthday was the fourth of February when I turned... 16. WHOAT! Go me... Um... let's pretend that Syao and Sakura are... step-cousins. You'll learn more about their relationship in this chapter. And yeah, the environment they've been put in... TOTALLY SUCKS, so it's not their fault. They can rationalize a bunch of stuff, but sometimes they do it stupidly, like how Sakura thinks. Syaoran understands that it's not Sakura's fault, but he still blames himself for the same stuff that happened to him until he met Alex and Alexis.

Yeah, I guess I'm depressed. My parents can't tell. I'm an awesome actress. Not. LoL. But I did get into the Theatre Company at my school. That's a class in which you get to perform to the entire school for. I'm so happy about that. But... yeah, depressed are I. It's like all I can think about are the rainy days, which is fucking hard, 'cause it's been so fuckin' hot around here lately. I don't like having people around me; I think I have social paranoia or something. I always think they're looking at me or something. Call me self-conscious; call me Squeakerz; I don't mind if you call me Bob. Bah, psychiatrists suck. That's why I'm going to be one. Makes no sense, right? I didn't think so.

**Wolf Jade:** Hiya. Yeah, I get how you feel. Sometimes I read things and they don't make sense at all. And then I got back and I'm like... ehehehheheh... I'm so stupid X.X I'm so glad that you loved it. Oh, she whispers everything to Mikey 'cause she doesn't want anyone else to hear her talking and also because he's the only person she can really speak to other than Tomoyo and Tony & Co. without being ridiculed.

**Magical-Dark-Angel:** They do know each other. And yes, he's checking her out, but he's trying not to. Why? 'Cause he's in DENIAL. He's kind of like... her... step-second-cousin... Don't ask me how that happened. Just BELIEVE. And remember... there is no blood connection so they can GET IT ON! O.O I can't believe I said that. I'm so glad you noticed the alphabetical thing . Took me forever to do.

Wow is a good thing! And... uh... no... I don't think there are log cabins here. Well... if you go into the northern places, like... the territories, maybe. And if you go to campgrounds... I live in a beautiful house surrounded by even more houses... and an aboveground subway system thingy. =) It looks like the US here... 'cept... more... Canadian. LoL. It's like a tiny version of the US. O.o Tell me... don't they have log cabins where you can go camping in the US as well? O.o

**Know me...:** I am... CANADIAN! Woot! Go me! I can also be further classified as Asiatic Indian and that can be broken down to Punjabi. Syao and Sakura are magical step-second-cousins. Syaoran is living with Sakura because his mom kicked him out for punching her current boyfriend at the time. I know a bit of Tagalog... [I think that's how you spell it] my friends taught me... swear words. =) ] oh, how mean. LoL. Yeah, it's Mama and Papa because... it sounds like something a little kid might say. That's the only reason. Also 'cause it sounds cool. =]

**The Lizzie Lizard: **Oh my goodness, I love your fics and I'm honoured that you read this. Oh, yeah, all of my stories are rated R, and that's the best part about them! Rated R for RANDOMLY-NISHA... Er... inside joke. =) Perverts are cool.

**haley: **Well... Tony? Hmm, I like him, he's awesome, I hope I can stick him in again. =) He's an awesome human. Mad props to him and his insane beauty. [he's be-joo-ti-ful]

**P.S. Thanks a billion to everyone for reviewing my fic...it made me extremely happy! **

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AH... before I begin... here is something important for all of you people who don't read carefully enough or thoroughly enough... **Stop asking me who Koshi is! **Seriously! Just stop! I know you want to know... but if you read the first two chapters well enough, you would know. Now, for all of you who are too lazy to go back and read up about it...

**KOSHI IS A COMIC BOOK CHARACTER THAT I CREATED! He is not a real human in this story, he is just a character created so that another character may read about him when she's bored. Ta da! There... the secret behind Koshi. Now... shaddup about him. X.X I'm so rude... sorry! **

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**BEGINNING OF THE CHAPTER**

"..." Speech

_Italics _or '...' Thoughts

[Linkin Park; Crawl... LOVE THAT SONG!] A/Ns

_Disclaimer: I have never and probably will never own CCS. I do however, own Yukio and Tony. _

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**Find Hope **

**Chapter Nine**

**After Class**

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_Crawling in my skin, these teachers just won't give up. Oh my god..._ thought Syaoran his day as a student of his school ended.

_There must be something in their coffee that makes them act like this._

_/Yeah, I bet they put in like... crack or something into it. Or some other weird drug./_

_Or maybe... they're just naturally like this..._

_/NO, don't think like that! It defies the laws of physics! No one can be this messed up./_

_True... _

All of his new teachers in Japan were _FUCKED_. Like, seriously, messed up, BIG TIME. Not only were they weird, forgetful, pompous, and had no fashion sense whatsoever, but they didn't know jack shit about the classes they were supposed to be teaching. He wondered how on earth they had passed their teaching courses, let alone gotten their jobs.

At least the day's classes were over, but now he had to face the new terror.... And he knew that it would be waiting for him. It had waited for him after every single bloody class he had left and it had found him during lunch and it seemed to have a freaky second sense as to where he was at all times. Even when he exited the little boys' room that day, the horror had been waiting for him. He shuddered at the thought of it.

He walked over to his locker, and was immediately latched onto by Connie who was now also known as the Insane Bunny-Loving Terror (and Bringer) of Doom in Syaoran's mind. He tried to move his arm out of her grasp, but she was too into herself to pay attention to his efforts.

"Hey Syaoran! So, like, we've got to, like, go to, like, Dan and Cassandra's together!" she piped out in her annoyingly perky voice. "We'll have, like, so much fun!"

"Uh..." he said.

/_Right, fun, that's exactly what's going to happen when your circulation cuts off and your hand falls off./_

_Boo yeah, my thoughts exactly!_

"So, like, why aren't you, like, getting ready?" she asked.

"Because you're cutting off the circulation of my arm?" he asked, wryly.

"What?" she asked, looking completely dumbfounded. He wondered how she kept that face from showing up all the time. She always seemed to be slightly confused at all times. He wondered if she was suffering from a mental condition. She never seemed to have a complete grasp on reality.

_/Yeah, marching down a library aisle and planning your wedding with her seems to have helped that out a bit, now hasn't it?/_

_I didn't do it on purpose. _

_/That's what you want me to think./_

_Damn it! That's what I know! And you know that too._

"I can't open my locker if you're latched onto me like that," he snapped, trying to be as rude as possible. Maybe being rude would get her off his back, or in this case, his arm. "What are you trying to do? Make my arm fall off? Gees, you're like a leech."

She laughed and let go of his arm.

She laughed.

_Laughed._

Laughed as if he had something insanely hilarious and not more than a little insulting. What was wrong with her? Didn't she get that he had just insulted her?

"Oh, Syao, you're, like, so FUNNY!" she exclaimed while smacking him on his bicep.

His eye twitched as he opened his locker and started pulling random things out of it and stuffing them into his backpack. He wanted to get out of there as fast as possible.

_/He, he... "**SYAO! YOU'RE SO FUNNY! Tell everyone about the leech story! That's how you got my nickname for me: LEECH!**" I bet she'd say that to you at your wedding reception./_

_We are NOT getting married. _

_/Oh? You're going to smash her puny hopes?/_

_OF COURSE! I am going to smash them because her hope to marry me is UNFOUNDED and ridiculous. I mean she's pretty; I just don't... like her._

_/Of course, the fact that she has the IQ of a gnat has nothing to do with it./_

_Actually, it does. _

_/Aw, doesn't she give you butterflies in your stomach?/_

_No, she gives me indigestion and an intense urge to vomit._

He slammed his locker shut and his left eye twitched as she again grasped his right arm. "Oh, Syao, let's like, go and like, find Dan and Cassandra's like, house! Okay?" He wondered why she had asked him if it was okay. If he knew the ways of the jungle of high school well, that question she had just asked was rhetorical in her mind.

"Uh... how about no?" He shrugged out of her grip and walked off. Okay, he didn't shrug out of her grip; he had to pull her arm off of his before he could start walking off. But he pulled it off. That was a good thing, right?

He heard the uneven _click-clacking_ of her shoes before he felt her clamp onto his arm again. Oh, how he had become conditioned to flinching every time he heard that familiar _click-clack._ This time, her vice-like grip on him scared him. How on earth was she that strong? She must have worked out her hands or something.

"Oh, Syao, you're, like, so, like... CUTE!" she exclaimed yet again at a high pitch that kind of hurt his ears.

"Uh... I'm not cute. And neither are you." There, a direct attack to her beauty. That ought to shut her up and get her to leave him alone.

"I'm not?" she asked, giving him a strange look.

"Nope, you're not cute at all. In fact I think you look," he paused, trying to think of a word grotesque enough to describe the fake way she smiled and her horrible leech-like tendencies.

"BEAUTIFUL?" she supplied, screaming loudly. "You think I look beautiful?" She started jumping up and down in glee as his eyes widened in horror.

_No, no, no, no, no! This is not supposed to happen!_

_/AHAHAHAHAH! You're SCREWED!/_

_If I'm screwed, then YOU'RE SCREWED TOO!_

She had him in a hug now; a suffocating, bone-crushing hug. Maybe this was how she trapped her potential boyfriends. She'd bother them so much that they'd become weak and tired and when they let their guard down... BAM! She would hug them until they passed out. As to what happened after that, he didn't want to know. He shuddered on the inside; she was like an evil Black Widow spider.

"NO!" he growled, prying himself out of her insanely tight grip. "I don't think you're beautiful, I don't think you're cute, and I don't think you're attractive in any way!" He scrambled out of her grip and pushed her away to the other side of the hallway, getting ready to face the wrath of an angry female. He had just attacked her in the worst way possible; he had insulted her beauty. Surely, at least now, she would be insanely pissed off and LEAVE HIM ALONE.

"Oh, Syao!" she screamed, yet again, hugging herself tightly. "You're so cute!" She started walking towards him, her heels _click-clacking_ against the linoleum tiles that made up the floor. Her arms were outstretched and due to that fact and the fact that her hair was shining artificially and the fact that she had an insanely large, shining smile on her face, she looked like a horror movie zombie risen from the dead, ready to take down her victim.

_/Syao, you idiot! She thinks you're playing hard to get!/_

_Hard to get? HARD TO GET? I DON'T WANT TO BE GOTTEN! I mean... taken!_

_/I know! But she doesn't!/_

Syaoran stared in horror as the female approached him with her huge smile and her powerful arms, arms that were just waiting to encircle him and squeeze the life out of him. Eh! What was he supposed to do? He did what any other stupid male would do in such a situation; he screamed out exactly what was on his mind.

"I'm **not** playing hard to get, Connie! Leave me alone!"

He watched her as she froze, her smile glued to her face, but her eyes confused. Aha! He had thrown her off guard! MWAHAHAHH! Now he could make a run for it or he could...

He watched in horror as she started to laugh again. "Oh, Syao!" she exclaimed yet again. "You're so FUNNY!" He continued to watch her, frozen in place as she started for him again. He knew that he should have run, he knew that he should have moved, he knew that he should have done _something _and tried to have gotten out of her way, but he was frozen. He finally understood what a deer in the headlights of a car felt like. He knew what was coming was horrible and scary, but he just had to stand there and watch. He had to, he was powerless to move. The odd way that she was coming for him was entrancing, so entrancing that he felt himself losing the ability to make coherent thoughts. His thoughts were now jumbled and confused, he wondered what he was doing, why he was there, who that girl was in front of him, why he couldn't move, why that girl's smile was so... wrong.... Why...

"Hey Syaoran! Connie! Hi!"

He was snapped out of his trance by Mikey, the large boy who had been snacking on Sakura's ear in math class. Even though he sort of resented him, he was ready to bow down at this green-haired male's feet. Which he did; he grabbed at Mikey's legs and started whispering "Thank you, Thank you," into his pants. He was sure that he was a weird sight, but he couldn't help it. Who knew what would have happened if he hadn't come by and knocked him out of his trance.

"Uh... hello to you too Syaoran," said Mikey, looking rather confused at the teen who was hugging the legs of his jeans and murmuring something that sounded like, "Shank Jew, Shank Jew."

Connie just kind of gave him a weird look before smiling at Mikey. "Oh, like, Mikey! We can all, like, go to, like, Dave and Cassie's, like, together!"

"Uh, yeah..." said Mikey, rubbing the back of his head. "But, before we do, I need to talk to Syaoran..." He gave the boy on his knees an odd look. "Uh... Syaoran? What are you doing?"

Syaoran stood and started blushing like mad. He realized what an... awkward position he had just put himself and Mikey into. "Uh, nothing, just... thanking you."

Mikey laughed. "Thanking me? What for?"

Syaoran just shook his head, "For more than you will ever know."

Mikey gave him an odd look. "Uh... okay. Well, can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Sure."

Mikey grinned at Connie. "Well, if you'll excuse us for a minute, Connie," he said to her. "I need to talk to Syaoran about something, man to man, if you know what I mean."

Connie giggled a very high-pitched giggle. "Oh I do!" She smiled flirtatiously at the two of them before walking away. "I'll, like, go find the others! _Bye, Syao!" _she shouted.

"Uh... bye, Connie," he replied in a monotonous voice.

"Follow me," said the green-haired boy as he started down the near empty hallway.

"Uh, so what do you want to talk about?" asked Syao as he fell in step with Mikey.

"Not out here," replied Mikey, "too many people could overhear."

"Oh, so it's important?" asked Syaoran, slightly intrigued.

"You could say that.... So, what's up with you and Connie?"

Syaoran sighed. "Nothing. At least, that's what I feel." He decided to confide with the green-haired male. "For some reason, she feels like she's my girlfriend or something. It's scary. She has a grip like a lobster."

Mikey snorted, "I know what you mean."

Syao shot him a look of disbelief, "She's latched onto like that before?"

Mikey rolled his eyes. "She's latched onto every boy in this bloody school," he drawled. Syaoran wondered how he learned to walk. He moved like he was in water. It was a fluid grace, like a cat, or something. He wasn't sure how to describe it. He felt more than just a little inept walking next to him. "She didn't get the nickname 'Sharp Claws Connie' for nothing. You should be happy that short nails are in now. Kami-sama, when long nails were the 'in' thing..." He trailed off and shuddered.

Syaoran shuddered as well. Just the thought of it was making him cringe.

Mikey stopped by the door of a bathroom. It looked like any other bathroom in the school, that was, until Mikey pulled out a red rectangle of card and placed it on the doorknob. He smiled when Syaoran looked at it funny. "It's to keep people from bothering us," he explained. "The red on the door means I'm busy."

_Whoa... he must be some big shot..._ thought Syaoran stared at the open bathroom door. He wondered why on earth Mikey would need a bathroom all to himself. Then he wondered why on earth he would be allowed such power. Then he wondered just what the bloody fuck Mikey wanted to do with him. Images of rape filled his head.

"Hey, why are we going in there?" he asked, more than a little suspicious. He swallowed nervously. The last thing he wanted to do was be alone with Mikey. He may have saved him from the clutches of Connie, but that didn't make him Superman.

Mikey chuckled. "Relax, it's not like I'm going to rape you," he said, laughing at the odd expression on Syaoran's face. "I just want to talk to you in private."

"Oh, right," answered Syaoran as he walked into the bathroom. He heard Mikey shut the door behind him and he walked around the corner that kept females from seeing the insides of the bathroom. There were five empty stalls in the bathroom; you could tell because the doors were wide open. The urinals, however, were another story. Two boys were standing, doing their business when Mikey and Syaoran entered.

"Mine's bigger," came one of their voices.

"No way! Mine is the biggest! Just look at it!"

"Nuh, uh! What are you, blind?"

"No, you're blind! Mine is the biggest!"

Mikey cleared his throat.

The two males at the urinals froze. Syaoran coughed, looking to the side, trying to avoid looking at them. The two boys looked behind them and sighed. Syaoran gave them a weird look.

"Oh, Mikey, it's just you," one of them said, as the two of them finished off their business.

"Yeah, I thought it was someone else," said the other, snickering.

_/Hey, would you look at that!/_

_Look at what?_

_/Your's is bigger than both of theirs!/_

_/What? It's the truth./_

_/Eh? Syao? You there?/_

_SHUT UP!_

That was just too much information. Syaoran waited in silence as the two males washed their hands and walked out the door while waving good-bye to Mikey. He heard them begin their argument all over again in the hallway.

Mikey turned to him, blushing slightly. "Tehe, sorry about that, Syao. I forgot about those two. They're always fighting about stuff like that."

"Oh, that's okay," said Syao. _Oh yeah, the fact that I'm now scarred even more for life is just hunky-dory for me. I don't really care. URGH... _He tried to get the gross mental pictures out of his head. "So, uh, what did you want to talk to me about?"

Mikey, who had been staring into the mirror, continued to stare at his own reflection. Syaoran gave him time; maybe what he was going to ask him was really important. Or maybe Mikey was trying to psyche him out for some reason. Or maybe... Mikey saw that pimples were starting to pop up in a weird formation on his left cheek and formed the image of the playboy bunny. Or maybe...

"Why is your phone number the same as Sakura's?"

That was definitely not what he had thought Mikey was going to say.

"Uh..." What to say, what to say? Syaoran scanned his mind for some odd, somewhat reasonable explanation.

"Why are you living at her house?"

_Uh... good question, well you see, her stepfather is my mom's adopted elder brother. I'm –_

"Why did you come to school with her?"

_Because we're living in the same house? Because she woke me up and dragged me out—_

"Why is she talking about you?"

_She's talking about me? WOOT! I am flattered. Wait, is she saying good stuff or is she saying weird crap? Oh my god, did she tell you about the fight? Did she tell you—_

"Why do you keep looking at her?"

_Why? You want to know why? Because she confuses me. Because she cares for me, or at least because I think she does. Because I want to know why she shoved me this morning even though she knew that I was hurting like a bitch. Because I have so many bloody questions in my head that I thought that if I thought long and hard and stared at the back of her head, she would answer me. Because –_

"Why aren't you **answering me?**" Mikey's tone of voice changed drastically at the end of his sentence and in seconds, Syaoran found himself without his backpack and pinned to the wall with a maniacal appearing Mikey staring deep into his eyes with his hands wrapped around his neck. _Gee, maybe because you won't let me finish my –_

"**Why?"** he demanded as he started to shake Syaoran. "Why won't you answer me?" he asked again and again, bruising Syaoran's throat as he shook him. His eyes flashed horribly in the dim light of the bathroom and Syaoran wondered if he was going to die.

"Because you're choking me!" Syaoran managed to choke out.

Mikey looked at him in shock for a second. He didn't seem to have realized that he was holding Syaoran up by his neck against the wall. He let Syao go and watched him fall to the ground, clutching his neck.

On his hands and knees, Syaoran looked up, grinning nastily. "Gees, you sure know how to make a guy feel welcome at this school," he wheezed out, still massaging his neck. "First you sick the Insane Bunny-Loving Terror (and Bringer) of Doom a.k.a Connie on my heels and then you make me walk in on two guys checking out the size of their penises and then, to top it all off, you attack me. Gees, I think I'm really starting to fit in here. It feels just like home."

Mikey just stood there, silently watching him before taking a deep breath and shutting his eyes. "Look... I'm sorry... I just... don't..."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know," said Syaoran, still wheezing pathetically. "You're madly in love with Sakura and have only her best interests at heart." Syaoran shifted so that he was leaning against the wall with his back. He pulled his legs up towards him and rested his forehead on his knees. "Don't worry, I won't steal her away. She doesn't like me. Least, I don't think she likes me. I don't know; I'm confused."

There was a pause. Syaoran wondered if he had said too much.

"I don't like Sakura," said Mikey, breaking through the silence.

Syaoran looked up. "What do you mean you don't like Sakura? Of course you like Sakura."

"No, I mean, I like her, but," Mikey shifted on his feet, his face confused. "I like her, but not in like, a girlfriend way. She's like my..."

"Fling?"

Mikey gave him a weird look. "No, she's like my little sister."

"She's your little sister whose ear you bite on during class?"

"Eh... you saw that?"

"Yeah." Syaoran continued to rub his neck. He wondered if it was going to bruise. He wondered how he would hide it. Maybe with a choker or something?

Mikey sighed and slid down to sit next to Syaoran. "Well, she's not really like my sister. More like... a sister that I can... uh..."

"Incest?"

"No, not that far. Just kisses and stuff."

"Ah... I see."

"So... why is your phone number the same as hers?"

"Well... uh... you see... We kind of, sort of, live... together."

"Kind of, sort of?" asked Mikey, sounding rather humorous.

"Yeah..." Syaoran stopped rubbing his neck. "It's hard to explain."

"We have time."

"Don't we have to get to that meeting?"

"Oh, right..." Mikey trailed off and then perked up. He grabbed at his bag which was lying next to him and pulled out a cell phone. He smiled, "the magic of cell phones!" He started to punch in numbers, "I'll just call and tell them we'll be late."

Syaoran nodded. "Right."

"Hallo?" spoke Mikey into the phone. "Yep... I've got him here, tell Connie not to worry."

_CONNIE? EH...._

"Yeah, we're going to be late, sorry."

_I wonder how late..._

"Why? Business, important business that we have to discuss."

_Business? Is that what they call this now?_

"Yeah, okay, we'll see you later, okay? Okay, bye."

He shut the phone and put it back in his bag. He turned his head to Syaoran. "Why are you living with Sakura?"

Syaoran stared off into the distance, which in this case, was the sight of many urinals. "Do you know about Sakura's house?"

"You mean her life at home?"

"Yeah."

"Yeah..."

"My mom was like that, I mean, not like her step-dad, but like... she let her boyfriends..." Syaoran took a deep sigh. "You know, I've only told this to like... three people in my life. You're the fourth."

Mikey smiled, "Should I feel special?"

"Yeah."

Mikey waited as Syaoran collected his thoughts. He knew that it would be futile to try to force the guy to talk to him. Kami knew how many times he had to screw up with Sakura before he realized all that he had to do was be quiet and listen. So he waited.

"I hit my mom's boyfriend. Well, more like beat him up."

"..." Mikey didn't know what to say. He had beaten up his fair share of people... but never someone who was (in a way) the equal to his parents.

"It wasn't really his fault. He was just saying the same crap that everyone else said... But I snapped and I hit him and I didn't stop hitting him. I didn't stop until he was on the ground and bleeding and even then the only reason I stopped was because my mom hit me."

Again, another pause held the air. Mikey waited as Syaoran contemplated how to go on.

"She hit me... She hit me all the time, so it wasn't really very surprising. This time, she hit me on the face though. She _never_ hit me on the face, because of children's aid and all that other crap. So that was when I knew that I'd gone too far.

"The fact that she hit me and the fact that she phoned her brother.

"He isn't really her brother though. Her parents adopted him. He's older though. And... she sent me off to live with him and his step-daughter because she couldn't deal with me anymore.

"And, WHOA! Would you look at that, Sakura's my step-cousin... but not by blood. And... yeah, that's pretty much it about why I'm staying with her."

Mikey realized that he was done. "So... does her step-dad... do the same stuff to you?" He wondered if he had toed the line... he didn't know where the line was, but he hoped he hadn't crossed it.

"Yep."

Apparently he hadn't.

"I don't really like it, but there's nothing that I can really do about it."

"Hey..." started Mikey. "If you... ever need any help or anything... you can call me or something."

"Okay..." Syaoran continued to stare at the urinals. "Am I... am I still allowed to stay at your house?"

Mikey laughed and stood up. "Yeah, of course!" He gave his hand to Syaoran to help him up. "I'd never ditch a friend in need."

Syaoran smiled and took his hand. "Great. Thanks."

They grabbed their bags and put them on. Syaoran stood in front of the mirror, checking out his throat. It was bruised. "Shit, what I am I going to tell everyone?" he asked Mikey.

Mikey shrugged. "Say you were mugged."

"Yeah, and the mugger decided to see if he could make my eyes pop if he squeezed my neck tight enough."

"Hey, what are you getting all worked up about? I'm sure it's going to make Connie fawn all over you even more than usual. She'll want to rub lotion onto your neck or something like that." Mikey snickered.

"EH..." Syaoran glared at Mikey's reflection.

Mikey grabbed Syaoran's bag, seemingly oblivious to Syaoran's dirty looks. "C'mon, we're already late. Let's get a move on." He dragged the two of them out of the bathroom.

They walked in silence down the halls before Syaoran started to speak again. "Uh... Mikey?"

"Yeah?" Mikey gave him a quizzical look. "What?"

"What were those guys doing in there? Seriously?"

Mikey patted Syaoran's shoulder, shaking his head. "You know, I don't think you want to know the answer to that question."

* * *

Ta da! The end... =) Woot, I know it's short... but... at least I've made some progress! I'll make more.... Later. I promise! . Ciao for now. Remember to check out my new Naruto fics! [Boo yeah, advertising for my other fics!] Don't forget to review! 


	10. Planning

**Short, sweet, and simple: **I haven't updated in ages. I know that. But I am now. So rejoice, and be happy. Er, just to clarify, Mr. Ojakuri teaches Social Studies.

My writing style has changed progressively throughout the entire fic. Once I'm done this fic (which may or may not take a million years) I will be editing the chapters and fixing all those horrible spelling mistakes and grammar errors which I KNOW exist. They're evil. But, that time is far into the future.

**Summary: **Sakura and Syaoran live with Sakura's crazily abusive step-father, Yukio, all the while trying to find a way to deal with these weird feelings that keep popping up around them. Fck, that's a short summary.

**Warning:** Very**, very short**. Involves cross-dressing. **Un-beta-ed. Sorry, I'll have the beta-ed version up in a bit.**

**Rating: **My mother told me to pick the very best – I mean M.

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**Find Hope**

**Chapter Ten**

**Planning**

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It was a hellish bus ride and a crazy thirty minutes later that Syaoran found himself sitting on an overstuffed couch drinking pink lemonade as Cassandra and Dave's mother whipped around the room, shoving cookies and lemonade down everyone's throat.

"So, dearies, where _were _you? And just what _were_ you doing?" asked Mrs… Ms…. Well, Cassandra and Dave's mom asked Syao.

Syao blinked and took a deep sip of pink lemonade. _Oh, I don't know, here and there. Talking about child abuse and rape. Oh, and we walked in on two guys comparing their lengths. I'm bigger than both of them. _

Mikey answered for them, "Oh, Polly, we were just here and there, talking business."

Polly _(Polly? Polly? What kind of a mother allows you to call her Polly?) _giggled at Mikey. "You and your business! Really Mikey, when will you learn to be a kid?"

She had an irritatingly high and nasal voice; she reminded Syao of Janice, from the TV show _Friends_. Her clothing was all bottle-green as were her eyes. However, the green polyester suit and green silk blouse (which was open low enough for everyone to see her bottle-green and very lacy bra underneath) made her skin look vaguely yellow and sallow, almost like she was recovering from an illness. She had dark circles under her eyes which she had attempted to cover up, but had failed to do so. Her eyeshadow was (for some insane reason which Syaoran could not understand) was bright pink. Pink! With all that bottle green. Her lipstick was also a bright and fluorescent pink and did not match the brash redness of her hair which had to have been dyed. Nature had not created that color. And if it had, it must have been a mutation.

However, she was nice and somewhat calm, although she did seem a bit flaky. Her nails were long, pink, and fake, but seemed incredibly useful as a comb when she raked her hands through her hair. Her smile was genuine and although she acted oddly with Mikey, she seemed decent.

"Oh you're just so cute!" she squealed, pinching Syao's cheek with one bright pink nail before picking up her (what else?) bottle green purse.

She blew air kisses to everyone in the room and then made a very noisy exit. But she was back in the room seconds later, headed towards a large and overly decorated golden urn. Syaoran watched as she put her arms delicately around the urn and… gave it a hug.

"Ta ta, kiddies!" she said cheerfully as she waltzed away, her shoes clicking audibly on the hardwood flooring.

Everyone waited in silence until they heard the door open and shut and the door lock.

"Finally," said Cassandra. "Free to do as we please." She cackled evilly and stood up.

"Uh…" Syaoran didn't know what to say. He supposed this was one of her odd drama queen moments.

"Don't mind her," said Dan, walking over and sitting down on the couch next to Syaoran. Connie clung to Syao's arm.

"Who?" asked Syaoran. "Cassandra or your mom?"

"Both," answered Dan. "Mom's been kind of… well… ever since…" He sighed and looked to Tomoyo who was talking animatedly with Mikey. "Uh…" he trailed off.

Erin chose that moment to waltz across the room (with her arms flailing wildly) and sit herself down in Dan's lap. "Crazy," she said, in a hushed voice. "His mother has been acting very off-kilter as of late. Well, actually, ever since her husband was killed and cremated and stuffed into that urn over there. She hugs it all the time. His death may have led to the change in her behaviour. Or even to a hormonal imbalance. I read about it somewhere." She faced away from Syao and continued to mumble. "Or maybe that was about empire penguins. But I was sure…"

Syaoran looked at Dan incredulously.

"What?" asked Dan. "She's my girlfriend. I can't help it if she has weird ideas."

"She's your _girlfriend?_" asked Syaoran.

"Uh huh," answered Connie. "They've been going out for three years, two months, and seventeen days. We have a betting pool on how long the relationship will last."

Dan and Syaoran just looked at each other, both wishing Connie would leave them alone. Or rather, leave Syaoran alone.

"Er, she can hear you, you know?" said Syaoran.

"No she can't," answered Connie. "Look, she's lost interest here already, she's leaving, so we can be alone." She fluttered her eyelashes at Syaoran.

"Actually, I was going to sit next to Sakura," stated Erin as she strolled over to Sakura. "Besides, your perfume reeks. I don't want to go home and smell like you."

"Er, like, whatever," sputtered Connie, a sneer playing on her lips.

"Drinks!" yelled Cassandra, stepping into the room. She was holding several bottles of yellow-coloured liquid in her hands. "When mom's away, the children will play!"

"Yo, Cassandra, shouldn't we wait until _after _we finish the project?" asked Mikey. "To celebrate and whatnot?"

Cassandra stood in the doorway looking exasperated. "But I just got them out!"

"Then put them back, okay?"

"Fine, Mommy," she answered, stalking back out of the room. "Go on and ruin my fun, why don't you?"

"Dan, I'd like to thank you for all the support you just lend me," drawled Mikey once Cassandra had disappeared from view.

"I was with you in spirit," answered Dan. "You couldn't see me, but I was there."

"Right."

"Okay then," declared Cassandra as she walked back into the room. "What will we be doing our project on?"

"Sakura said Koshi," said Mikey. "I like that idea."

Dan snorted. "The teacher will go insane if we do a project on him."

"Yeah, well, he said anything, didn't he?" answered Erin. "He should be prepared."

Tomoyo laughed. "But Koshi? Sorry Sakura, but I don't think so."

"What else then?" asked Mikey.

"Ponies, or pasta, or petunias, or the relationship of werewolves with unicorns?" asked Erin.

"Uh… what about euthanasia?" asked Syaoran. "It's pretty controversial and we can make a report with both pros and cons."

"Oh, Syao, you're always thinking about others!" exclaimed Connie. "That's so awesome! I love Asia! It's my favourite country!"

"Connie," said Dan, shaking his head. "Asia isn't a country, it's a continent."

"Oh, well, I was just testing you, Dan!"

"And I think he's talking about euthanasia," said Cassandra. "Not youth in Asia."

"Isn't it the same thing?" asked Connie, flipping her hair and looking bored.

"No, euthanasia is one word and is also known as mercy killing. Youth in Asia are just kids in Asia."

"Oh… well… I want to be in Syaoran's group!"

Mikey grinned. "Actually, I think it's better if Syaoran, Tomoyo, Sakura, and I work on the pros by ourselves."

"But Mikey, I wanted to be with him!"

"Yeah, well, next time."

"Fine," she huffed, getting up. "I am going to the bathroom," she informed them.

"Good for you, Connie!" smiled Cassandra. "You're a big girl now, aren't you?"

"Oh, shove it," sneered Connie as she walked out of the room.

"Right, so you guys can work on the cons," said Mikey as he mapped out the rest of the project while Connie was away. "And we can research and whatever starting er, well, tomorrow I guess seeing how it's kind of late now."

Dan stood up. "If you guys hurry you can get out of here before she comes out."

"Dan, you are amazing," said Tomoyo, getting to her feet and grabbing Sakura. "We're out of here."

"Syao and I are taking the bus too," said Mikey, standing up. "We'll come with you. Er, what about you Erin?" he asked. "Want to come with us?"

"No, thank you! Cassandra has an aloe plant I want to look at!"

"Actually," cut in Cassandra, "we're going to be looking at some new clothes. It'll be fun."

"My girlfriend and my twin sister… the horror," intoned Dan.

"Don't worry Dan, I'm heterosexual!" explained Erin.

"Er, right, well, bye you guys," said Mikey as they trouped to the door. "Have fun with aloe, Erin!"

"I will!"

They said their good-byes and left the house. They got to the bus stop in silence. Tomoyo paid Sakura's fare and Syaoran's fare was paid by Mikey.

There was no one on the bus and Tomoyo and Sakura got off first, leaving Syaoran and Mikey alone.

"So… is this bus always this empty?" asked Syaoran.

"For the next few stops it will be."

"What comes after the next few stops?"

"You'll understand when we get there."

Several stop later, still no one had come onto the bus. Syaoran was feeling slightly uncomfortable with the silence. They were traveling through a very ritzy neighbourhood. It was twilight already and the houses looked old and sterile.

_So… this is interesting. _

_/Say something, you loser./_

_Uh… like what?_

_/I don't know. Look, it's getting dark. Talk about the weather./_

_Because the weather is a deeply profound subject to talk about._

_/It changes everyday./_

_Oh, shut up._

He was about to say something to Mikey when the bus lurched to yet another stop and this time, people got on.

At first, he didn't think there was anything wrong. Then he heard them singing. Which wasn't very odd. Sometimes drunk people used buses to get home and sometimes they sang songs.

But most of the time, they weren't in matching glittery red dresses. Most of the time, their nails were not six inches long and covered in shimmering red nail polish. Most of the time, they did not all have their hair in up-dos dotted with sparkles.

And they most definitely were not **males** in matching glittery, red dressed with six-inch shimmering red nail polish covered nails with their hair up and dotted with sparkles. And one of the males usually did not wear a tiara.

As the males (he thought they were males… they looked like guys despite the bright red lipstick and neon-pink eye shadow) traipsed onto the bus, all he could do was stare. And then he realized that he was staring and looked to his shoes, his face flushing red.

_What the fuck…_

_/No wonder nobody else was on the bus/_

_Yeah._

The guys continued to sing joyfully, seemingly unaware or uncaring of the fact that two young men (who were not dressed in drag or wearing lipstick of any kind) were sharing the bus with them. They did sing very well, noted Syaoran.

Several bus stop later (and after the singing of several catchy tunes) Mikey stood up and gestured to Syaoran indicating that he wanted him to follow. As they got off the bus, the choir broke into a simultaneous "Good-bye!" complete with its own harmony.

"Uh, bye," answered Syaoran, waving slightly as the bus pulled away. He was answered by several cat calls.

"You just encouraged them," said Mikey, staring as the bus drove away.

"Oh. Sorry."

"S'okay," answered Mikey.

They boys looked at each other and seconds later they collapsed on the grass, laughing loudly, uncaring of the grass stains they were sure to be covered in.

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**Reviews**

Thanks to** Kura-chan, sakura.cherryblossom.kinomoto, cherrysakura5, Mysterious Writah, Baby-Prue, Nana-chan, Magical Dark Angel, zeddy222, blazinggirl, pupplove14, mamoru21, me, RogueSummersLover, blackdragonfangs, **and** divinedragon7** for reviewing.

**fallen-spirit: **Yes, Mikey is in on Sakura's secret and now on Syaoran's as well. And yes, Syao will be staying with the ever loveable Mikey and Sakura will be staying with Tomoyo. And yes, Yukio is Seiruu's new name. I'm so glad you love this.

**StrawBerryJunkie: **Something big? What constitutes as big? This chapter probably didn't have anything big… but the next chapter, I think will definitely have something big. I'm glad I updated as well.

**Chibi-Manny: **I forgot the "Y" on the second chapter? Lord, am I blushing or what. Oh well, that's just another think I'll have to go over and fix later on when I have oodles of time. And yes, the bathroom scene, well, that was fun to write about.

**Cherry Jade: **Yep, they were measuring their cocks. Their dicks, shlongs, penises, tin-tins, wieners, hot dogs, juniors, and anything else you want to call them as well. LoL.

**L.a.L.a.: **Everyone feels sad for Alex and Alexis. They are incredibly sad characters for whom everyone must feel sad for at some point. LoL, I say lame things. Hard lives are what get reviews. If I had written that they all had lovely dovely lives, there would be no conflict and so there would be no story and so, I would not be here.

**Strawberrylover: **Yep, he has a fourth person.

**Arsinen: **I am so wrong for making everyone wait this long, but alas, it is not my fault. My brain, it just doesn't work anymore. It's upsetting. Oh well. And yes, Connie is the ultimate airhead.

**Sam-the-Ham: **In an attempt to weird the living hell out of you: I LOVE YOU! YAY! You reviewed for me and now I am both honoured and stunned that you would waste you precious time on me. I feel lurved. And you like the story? Awesome. I dedicate this chapter to YOU. Why? Because I said so. Duh. Thanks for walking with me, old buddy, old pal, old friend. Old gopher loving turtle hugger.

**Coolcalico-girl2429: **Yep, Mikey and Syao bonding galore! Whee, my retainers are off! They have been for like… a year… or six months… I forget. But I do have this weird built-in retainer that I can get rid of if I ask… but I'm not going to. It's kind of cool. And yes, I love your reviews and yes… You're awesome.

**NorikuKitsune: **How'd I do alphabetical order? Why magic of course! Actually, I saw this story on this site somewhere, and I realized it was in alpha-order so I decided to do it too. It was so hard shoving my ideas around letters…. I realize that I hate Q, X, and Z. With a passion. No more alpha-order for me; it's much too stressing. And apparently, I miss letters. IRT: **Chibi-Manny** Yep. Thanks for the reviews! I love the glomp action.

**KarlaBob: **Yep, men with sewn up mouths are sick and icky to look at. Er, I have no clue about my reviewers being in Mexico, I don't take it upon myself to ask them where they come from. However, it's nice to know that I'm getting reviews from ALL OVER THE WORLD! Whoo, I feel cool. I want Mexican things…

**Unmoving: **Yes, I am aware of Sakura's age and how horrifically gross it must have been. I'm glad you thought it was "ickay and gross." Honestly, if you had written anything else, I'd be slightly afraid and somewhat disturbed.

**PeachBerry: **A peach is not a berry…. LoL, sorry, I saw your name and… okay, never mind, I'm off topic. Yep, those guys in the bathroom… they're hella funny. AND YES! I am a NARUTARD. I love it! It's awesome and lovely. Go Naruto! I hope my fics didn't disappoint you.

**blackwicth: **Yes, it is a very sad story, as I've been told. It's upsetting as well. And at times enlightening and heartbreaking and comedic at the same time. It's much too bad about your school life and your grounded-ness. I hope things get better, or got better seeing how I haven't updated in a long time.

**wiccaanimangagirlkagome:** ACK! Your name is incredibly hard to type out. I'm still scared that I made a typo. Argh. Thanks for the death-threat; those things crack me up all the time. Oh darling, I'm much more psychopathic than you are. (Psh, and my therapist says I have a superiority complex. Psh. LoL, jk.)

**yoyoma: **Yep, some definitely creepy stuff going on in this here story. It's super creepy sometimes, and at other times, it's just plain weird. And um… You'll have to wait and see what I'll do with Connie, though I'm not sure at the moment what else she's going to be doing. And yes, this stuff is deep. So deep it makes other things shallow. Okay, I lied. It's not that deep.

**Lady Tomboy: **Alexis and Alex? Why, doesn't everyone want to know about them? Why yes, yes they do. Hmm… I'll have to add them in more somehow. And those letters? They come into play in the future, I do believe. Though I might totally forget and leave them out. Ah, but personal things are awesome. If you want, you can write me long and boring e-mails about global warming and sand dunes trying to eat apples in the middle of winter if you want to.

Yep, all of this is pretty dark and sick at some point. I think everyone's life is dark and sick at one point, some people more than other's. And no, this is not from personal experience, well, I mean, bits and pieces are from me, but no, none of that abuse and whatnot. Just the people and whatever comes to mind. I find that a bit of my real life always seeps into my writing, a fact which is both nice and upsetting at the same time.

**Thy Lam: **No e-mails from me. At least, I don't I send e-mails. Why not? It's because I'm lazy. I mean, sure I use e-mail all the time. But like I said, I'm lazy, and excruciatingly so at times. And so, it's here that I shall inform you that no, this is not real.

**super kai-chan: **I hope you read the rest.

_And so ends this review response session._

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_Love, love will keep us together, think of me babe, whenever…. _

Yeah, so, just so y'all know, I am going to try to update before the end of the year. Why? Because I'm effing awesome. Well, actually, it's because I'd like to be able to say that I've finished at least ONE story. Argh. Which won't happen in one chapter, but still.

Btw, I'm sorry this is so short!

Check out my other stories after you review! (Gosh, am I desperate for reviews or what?)


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